Part 35 (2/2)

DCx.x.xIII.--THE LETTER H.

SIR JAMES SCARLETT, when at the Bar, had to cross-examine a witness whose evidence it was thought would be very damaging, unless he could be bothered a little, and his only vulnerable point was said to be his self-esteem. The witness presented himself in the box,--a portly, overdressed person,--and Scarlett took him in hand.

_Q._ Mr. John Tomkins, I believe?

_A._ Yes.

_Q._ You are a stock-broker?

_A._ I _ham_!

Scarlett regarded him attentively for a few moments, and then said: ”And a very fine, well-dressed _ham_ you are, sir?”

The shouts of laughter which followed completely disconcerted the witness, and the counsel's point was gained.

DCx.x.xIV.--TRUTH AND RHYME.

IN the days of Charles II., candidates for holy orders were expected to respond in Latin to the various interrogatories put to them by the bishop or his examining chaplain. When the celebrated Dr. Isaac Barrow (who was fellow of Trinity College, and tutor to the immortal Newton) had taken his bachelor's degree, he presented himself before the bishop's chaplain, who, with the stiff stern visage of the times, said to Barrow,--

”_Quid est fides_?” (What is faith?)

”_Quod non vides_” (What thou dost not see),

answered Barrow with the utmost prompt.i.tude. The chaplain, a little vexed at Barrow's laconic answer, continued,--

”_Quid est spes_?” (What is hope?)

”_Magna res_” (A great thing),

replied the young candidate in the same breath.

”_Quid est charitas_?” (What is charity?)

was the next question.

”_Magna raritas_” (A great rarity),

was again the prompt reply of Barrow, blending truth and rhyme with a precision that staggered the reverend examiner, who went direct to the bishop and told him that a young Cantab had thought proper to give rhyming answers to three several moral questions, and added that he believed his name was Barrow, of Trinity College, Cambridge. ”Barrow, Barrow!” said the bishop, who well knew the literary and moral worth of the young Cantab, ”if that's the case, ask him no more questions, for he is much better qualified,” continued his lords.h.i.+p, ”to _examine us than we him_.” Barrow received his letters of orders forthwith.

DCx.x.xV.--A GOOD TRANSLATION.

”PISTOR erat quondam, laborando qui fregit collum: Qui fregit collum, collum fregitque suum.”

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