Part 25 (1/2)

”All the souls that are, were _Forfeit_ once.”

CDXLVIII.--INQUEST EXTRAORDINARY.

DIED from fatigue, three laundresses together all, Verdict,--had tried to wash a s.h.i.+rt marked Wetherall.[A]

[A] Sir Charles Wetherall was noted for want of cleanliness.

CDXLIX.--A BASE ONE.

A FRIEND was one day reading to Jerrold an account of a case in which a person named Ure was reproached with having suddenly jilted a young lady to whom he was engaged. ”Ure seems to have turned out to be a _base 'un_,” said Jerrold.

CDL.--PROFITABLE JUGGLING.

A PROFESSOR of legerdemain entertained an audience in a village, which was princ.i.p.ally composed of colliers. After ”astonis.h.i.+ng the natives”

with various tricks, he asked the loan of a halfpenny. A collier, with a little hesitation, handed out the coin, which the juggler speedily exhibited, as he said, transformed into a sovereign. ”An' is that my bawbee?” exclaimed the collier. ”Undoubtedly,” answered the juggler.

”Let's see 't,” said the collier; and turning it round and round with an ecstasy of delight, thanked the juggler for his kindness, and putting it into his pocket, said, ”I'se war'nt ye'll _no turn't_ into a bawbee again.”

CDLI.--PICKPOCKETING.

THE Baron de Beranger relates, that, having secured a pickpocket in the very act of irregular abstraction, he took the liberty of inquiring whether there was anything in his face that had procured him the honor of being singled out for such an attempt. ”Why, sir,” said the fellow, ”your face is well enough, but you had on thin shoes and white stockings in dirty weather, and so I made sure you were a _flat_.”

CDLII.--DUNNING AND LORD THURLOW.

WHEN it was the custom for barristers to leave chambers early, and to finish their evenings at the coffee-houses in the neighborhood of the inns of court, Lord Thurlow on some occasion wanted to see Dunning privately. He went to the coffee-house frequented by him, and asked a waiter if Mr. Dunning was there. The waiter, who was new in his place, said he did not know him. ”Not know him!” exclaimed Thurlow, with his usual oaths; ”go into the room up stairs, and if you see any gentleman _like the knave of clubs_, tell him he is particularly wanted.” The waiter went up, and forthwith reappeared followed by Dunning.

CDLIII.--AFFECTATION.

DELIA is twenty-two, and yet so weak, Poor thing, she's learning still to walk and speak.

CDLIV.--WARM FRIENDs.h.i.+PS.

SOME people were talking with Jerrold about a gentleman as celebrated for the intensity as for the shortness of his friends.h.i.+ps.

”Yes,” said Jerrold, ”his friends.h.i.+ps are so warm that he no sooner takes them up than he puts them down again.”

CDLV.--THEATRICAL MISTAKES.

A LAUGHABLE blunder was made by Mrs. Gibbs, at Covent Garden Theatre, in the season of 1823, in the part of _Miss Stirling_, in ”The Clandestine Marriage.” When speaking of the conduct of _Betty_, who had locked the door of _Miss f.a.n.n.y's_ room, and walked away with the key, Mrs. G. said, ”_She had locked the key, and carried away the door in her pocket_.”

Mrs. Davenport, as _Mrs. Heidelberg_, had previously excited a hearty laugh, by subst.i.tuting for the original dialogue, ”_I protest there's a candle coming along the gallery with a man in his hand_;” but the mistake by Mrs. Gibbs seemed to be so unintentional, so unpremeditated, that the effect was irresistible; and the audience, celebrated the joke with three rounds of applause.