Chapter 204 - Sleepless nights (2/2)

”Go on? You have me curious now.” He chuckled lightly as he stroked her bare arm.

She frowned as tried to focus on something else except the twinkling eyes of the man behind her. ”Has not wanting children really been the main reason you've held back so much in the past and even now... or is there still more that you're hiding?”

Arei's curious smile faded away. ”There's nothing more, only what I've already told you and yes, children are a large factor in that. It's not that I wouldn't personally want them either, it's more that I wouldn't want them to be used and go through the hells I have... the hells I've seen my siblings go through. Life sucks for demigods, let's be honest. And as I've said before, with my job there are times I will have to leave you alone for several months at a time. I would feel less guilty about that if you were not pregnant or having to deal with our children alone. I never wanted to put you through the heartache of having to choose between me or something so important.” He shrugged. ”I guess it's easier now that you've had time to think of what you want and have more of an idea of what you would be giving up, but back then I just felt like I was taking advantage of your affections for me. As I've said, I didn't... couldn't see regret and disappointment mare your beautiful face.” He stroked the side of her face as he held her gaze in the reflection on the window.

Jos shook her head, a frustrated laugh vibrating her body. ”We are too much alike for our own good, you know that?”

He arched a brow at her. ”What do you mean?”

Jos turned toward him and held his gaze. ”Do you know, I used the same excuse when arguing with Russ about our relationship. He has to produce heirs and Arei, I'm not certain I can have children.” She shrugged. ”After the attack in Maine, I'm even more convinced of my infantility.” She placed her palms against his chest. ”You held back all that time, took all that time away from us for no reason. Had you only ever talked to me about it, we could have most likely worked it out.”

Arei sighed. ”I have no good excuses for what I've done, past or present. I'll admit I've hidden things from you then and now, but everything is on the tables now.” He ran his hand through his hair. ”One more room of this palace and I'm sure all the important memories will be restored.”

”The ballroom?” She asked.

He glanced over to where Shelly still slept soundly. ”Come there with me now?” He asked as he slid one leg over the side of the window seat.

Jos frowned, ”Do you think it will be alright to leave her alone?”

Arei pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. When it pinged, he sent her a faint smile. ”Father will be here in-” The words hadn't left his mouth before Poseidon had popped into the room looking sleepy.

He waved them away as he walked over to the bed and flopped down. ”You sleep with too much shit on this bed. Sure, you don't want me to just take her back to my room with me? Amphitrite won't be back for other several weeks. It will be fine.”

Arei shook his head. ”No, dad. I'm not risking Shelly getting smitten by a jealous goddess who would smite first and ask questions later... much later.”

”Gah, fine but don't hurry back. Once I'm back to sleep, I don't plan on moving until morning. Sure, you don't want to reconsider my offer?” He asked as he lifted one of the fur throws.

”No, you'll be fine. We won't belong.” Arei growled as he guided Jos out the door. He ignored his father's grumblings as he closed the door behind him. ”It won't be as splendid as it was that night, but hopefully it will be enough to do the trick.” He whispered as he led Jos through the palace.

Jos arched a brow as they entered through a small door at the end of the third-floor corridor. ”Where are we going, I thought the ballroom was on the ground floor?”

Arei nodded, ”It is, but the catwalk is through this one. I figured this would be the best view.” He led her through the door and to the edge of the railing, following her gaze as it moved from the open dome to shimmering water of the many waterfalls, then to the magnificent fountain in the center of the room. He wrapped his arms tightly around her when his eyes caught the whitening of her knuckles on the rails. ”If it's too much we can go back now... maybe come back later.” Jos shook her head as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. She pushed away from him and began running toward the stairs leading to the ground floor. He followed close behind as she navigated her way toward the private room his family used during parties. ”I take it you remembered this room as well?”

Jos nodded, ”Parts came to me when I saw Chary earlier... but now it's completely filled in.” Her troubled, tear-filled eyes met his as she stumbled back toward one of the chairs to sit. ”I lost so much that night... We lost so much...”

Arei moved over toward her and knelt down in front of the chair she sat in. He gently brushed away the tears. ”I told you, some of the memories you'd get back being here would be painful.” He shook his head. ”Now you understand why I didn't want to talk about it?”

Jos nodded as she searched his tender gaze. She reached out and brushed the hair that had fallen into his face away. ”There are things I lost in this room that no words of yours could have given back.” More tears streamed down her cheeks. ”It was the first time I'd ever felt like part of a family, and worse yet... it had been like I'd always been a part of it. They welcomed me so fully and warmly.”

He caught her hands and brought them to his lip. ”It can be like that again, Kitten... with or without me. You're a member of father's court now. You don't have to feel obligated to be with me to get that back. You are family... You are home.”

Jos frowned as she searched his eyes. The emotions there didn't match the words he was saying. Maybe in the past, she would have only heard the words and not noticed the pleas written in his turbulent eyes. ”And if I wanted it all?” She asked, watching as her words caused his pleading eyes to soften and light with a new wave of excitement.

Arei pressed forward and pulled her into his arms. ”Then it would make me the happiest man alive.”

When he moved in to kiss her lips, she stopped him. ”I'm not saying yes this very second. I need time.” She watched as some of the excitement faded and a smile spread across her lips as she leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to his lips. Pushing back, she sent him a smirk. ”I understand most of what you've said and a lot of what you hadn't... I need time to put everything together now, and I'll probably have more questions. I also still have a lot of things I need to settle outside of anything we may have together. I want to take things slow. I know a fresh start is out of the question, but I want to get to know the real you... not the mask of perfection you hide behind.”

He nodded. ”That's understandable.” He stroked a hand over her cheek as he held her gaze. ”Take all the time you need; think about the things I've said as well. Whether your decision leads back to me or not, I want it to be your choice.”

Jos nodded and moved forward more, wrapping her arms around his neck. ”That is the one thing I love the most about you. I've never felt rushed or forced into anything with you.” She pushed back slightly to study him. ”You are the most caring, sweetest person I've ever met.”

Arei gave her a charming smile. ”I'm glad you feel that way... and I have to admit hearing the word love in the present tense from your lips is a treat all in itself.” He lifted and held his hand out to her. ”Do you want to go back and fight father for our bed or try to find another room?”

Jos looked around. ”I'd kind of like to stay here a bit longer if that's alright.”

He nodded and led her over to one of the double lounges. He turned and retrieved a lighter from the side table and lit the fireplace before returning back to her. He stretched out and tugged her down against his side. ”I may have an idea of one of the ways you can get to know me... If you're down for it tomorrow.”