Chapter 173 - You want to chase me away (2/2)

I had no answer to that. Perhaps, I would have. At that moment, I had lost control, watching her in nothing but that towel. I had no excuses for it.

I was, in the end, a man who loved his wife. Desiring my wife in that sense was only natural for me. I went wrong at the point of failing to understand my wife's state of mind. I failed to ask her if she wanted it.

I continued to hold her. Every shuddering breath leaving her body hit me directly in my guts. How could I be so careless? She already had her issues which were difficult to deal with. It was not easy for her to trust me.

Why was I hell-bent on destroying her trust? Those who suffered from mental health problems had many other problems as well. The constant fear of something going wrong would be there in the back of their minds.

Those people would blame themselves for things going wrong. The direction their thoughts would take was extremely hard to predict.

Similarly, I could not determine what Innaya was feeling, thinking or assuming at the moment. I wanted her to talk and tell me. If she wanted to curse me, hit me, then that was okay as well. I didn't want her to keep things bottled up.

After what felt like an eternity, I felt her lips moving against my shirt. I then heard her low voice, ”I'm sorry… I was afraid.”

My hand on her hair trembled a little. Quietly, I dared not to move. Her admittance to being afraid was like a slap to my face. With me, she felt afraid. Was there more to her past, she did not mention to date?

”It was my fault. Blame me for losing control. I won't do anything. Don't be afraid,” I replied after a while when she did not say anything.

”Go, get dressed. I'll wait outside.”

I reluctantly was pulling away.

”Do you blame me?” Her small fist tugged at my shirt, refusing to pull away. She instead held onto me. Her little action and her words were the opposite. Both of which I had not expected.

”Huh? What are you saying? No, Tesoro. I'm not blaming you. I should be the one to be blamed.”

”What wife's don't let her husband have his— after so many months of marriage? You must be blaming me… but you said you don't. Why don't you blame me?” I heard her shaking voice.

'Ah…my naive wife!' I could not help but smile a little when I recalled how inexperienced my wife was in matters of physical intimacy. The memories of that morning when she curiously explored my face resurfaced in my mind.

That morning just by exploring my face, she had turned into a little squirrel trying to avoid me. It had taken some explanation for her to let go of that tiny guilt arising in my mind. I knew how inexperienced she was when we shared our second kiss because the first one was a peck and she was the one to do it.

”Okay, we'll talk about it later. Get dressed first. Okay?” I patted her head. We could've had the conversation now, but holding her when she was only in her towel, was getting a bit difficult for my body. The early temptation had resulted in some changes, and I did not want her to find it now. Though it had calmed down to a certain extent after what followed, I did not want to risk it with her.

”You're angry, right? That's why you want to chase me away.”