Vol 2 Chapter 9 (1/2)

Hirosue bought Matsuoka’s ticket in the train car Matsuoka had to go to work the next day, which meant as soon as he arrived at Hirosue’s station, he would have to promptly head back the way he came He insisted that the ticket was a waste of ether

They sat side-by-side in their reserved seats They barely spoke throughout the two-hour trip Matsuoka stared out thefor the whole ti that he was beside him, made Hirosue feel like he was fulfilled

Once they got off the bullet train, Matsuoka gazed inquisitively at his surroundings

“I’ve never been around this area,” he said Then, he perused the schedule for the train going back Just seeing him do that made Hirosue’s chest ache He wondered if Matsuoka was in a hurry to get hoh he knew the man had work the next day, Hirosue still wondered if he was the only one anted to spend tiether

“Are there any shoe stores around here?” Matsuoka turned to him and asked Hirosue didn’t know much about this station, either, since it was only a transfer point for him He paused to think for a while

“I think there was a department store close to the station”

“Maybe there’ll be a shoe store inside, then Would I be able to see it as soon as I get out?”

“I’ll go with you,” Hirosue offered

“But―” Matsuoka looked at his feet “I’ one of your shoes”

“It’s alright I have socks on”

Despite his protests, Hirosue ended up being left behind on the waiting roo in about ten one when the train eventually left But he had never intended to get on Froht Matsuoka’s train ticket, Hirosue had intended to stay with hiht up until the man’s return train left for the city

Hirosue started to feel somewhat lonely by himself He kept his eyes trained on the station entrance, wondering if Matsuoka would come back soon When Matsuoka returned about twentya pair of dark sneakers on his feet

The shoe he had lent out also came back to hiain

“Do you feel like going out to eat?” Hirosue suggested hastily

“I don’t mind, but don’t you have a train to catch? You still have a while to go from here, don’t you?”

“I’ht,” Hirosue lied

“I guess I a apprehensive nevertheless They agreed they didn’t want to roam too much in an unfamiliar area, so they went into an izakaya close to the station It was crowded inside, no doubt due to its good location and perhaps the hour of the day They were shown to counter seats

Here, they also barely talked But Hirosue was still satisfied He was happy enough just to have the man with him, to watch the man eat out of the corner of his eye

When it passed eight o’clock, Matsuoka broached the topic again “It’s getting late,” he began, “I think we should be going soon I have my bullet train to catch, too”

“Oh, but…”

“I don’t want to wait until the last minute and have to make a run for the train”

Hirosue’s attempt to stop hiether Matsuoka once again refused to let Hirosue pay for the bill They had gone into the restaurant with the light of the setting sun lingering about them, but noas pitch dark outside It was hot and humid in contrast to the air-conditioned restaurant Matsuoka pulled off his tie as he walked, rolled it up, and stuck it in his pocket They could see the station right before them

“Are you really going back?” Hirosue asked

“Yeah,” Matsuoka answered “I have work to home, too, aren’t you?”

“I’ht somewhere close by”

Matsuoka’s face tensed slightly

“The local lines aren’t running anymore,” Hirosue added

“Back there you said you were alright with the tily

“Yeah, well… the last train was already gone by that time, so”

Matsuoka stopped dead in the middle of the road

“I knew so was off,” he said in frustration “You were too relaxed for someone who had to transfer trains Youht, aren’t I? Then you should have told one on barefoot to buy shoes if I had to”

Hirosue remained silent

“Will you say sorily “I don’t knohat the hell is up with you today, Hirosue Puttingme all the way over here I came because you insisted on it, but it’s not nor a bullet train all the way here just to U-turn and go back”

Intimidated by Matsuoka’s outburst, Hirosue lost his ability to speak Matsuoka pursed his lips into an angry line before aggressively scratching his head

“What is it that you want to do, Hirosue?”

It was a question Matsuoka had uttered many times before

“You’ve brought ―what do you want to do? You say you’re going to stay the night here Does that mean you want me to stay, too?”

“Oh, u Matsuoka say everything

“But I told you, didn’t I? I have work tomorrow Time-wise, I could probably , but I don’t know if I’d be able to change So I can’t stay here overnight”

“I know, but…”

“If you know, then I’ht?”

Hirosue could not give his assent If he did, Matsuoka would go holanced at his watch, then directed his gaze at the station They had less than ten minutes until the last bullet train left

“If you want to say so, spit it out Don’t just clam up because you’re scared of how I’ll react”

Matsuoka’s impatience forced Hirosue to open his mouth and speak

“I―I think I love you”

Matsuoka whirled around to look at him

“Oh, I mean, not ‘think’ Um―I love you”

“What… the hell was that?” Matsuoka’s lips trembled as he wore a look of disbelief

“I wasn’t sure before,” Hirosue continued “But when I ain, I felt like this must be it”

“Why the hell are you saying this now?” He could see Matsuoka clench his fists hard “I knew so was off ever since you put h I told you not to, and you kept staring at ht be it, but if I let , so I tried not to think about it Anyway, enough about me That doesn’t matter But you had all this ti this now? You’re being unfair”

Hirosue had no idea why he was being called unfair

“Besides, all I’ve been doing is telling you to go away or that I don’t want to see you Why would that make you say you love me?”

Matsuoka’s voice was loud, and other passersby turned around to look at the in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the station like this Hirosue took Matsuoka by the are of the sidewalk Matsuoka’s lips were pursed firmly, and his head was down

“And… so…” Hirosue continued “It’s going to be long-distance, but I want you to go out with me”

Matsuoka did not answer hian to feel anxious at the lack of a response

“I’ll come to visit you as much as I can on my days off,” he insisted “I’ll call and e-mail you every day”

Matsuoka lifted his face Hirosue was surprised: the man looked like he was about to cry

“Why?” Matsuoka de ready to throw a punch at hi hard like I used to Ever since we stopped seeing each other, all I’ve been doing is trying to forget about you”

“Then I’ot me”

The strength left Matsuoka’s fingertips, but he still looked like he was on the verge of tears Hirosue gently stroked Matsuoka’s head

“You said you didn’t try, but I think it’s because you loved me all this time that I was able to realize how I feel It’s―it’s hard to explain, but…”

Matsuoka pressed his palm to his forehead

“Can I sit down somewhere?” he said quietly They took a seat on the bench at the bus stop in front of them There was no one there since the last bus had left

Hirosue watched Matsuoka attentively as he sat cradling his head After a while, he heard a soft “oh” as Matsuoka lifted his face

“My last bullet train…”

It was long gone Matsuoka glanced around in a panic like a child who had been left behind After some moments he seemed to cal an expression of resignation

“Do you really loveat Hirosue

“Yeah”

“I see,” Matsuokamore

They stayed at the bus stop for about an hour before he and Matsuoka began to look for the day’s lodgings Since the information kiosk at the station was closed, they went to a business hotel nearby instead, only to find out that there were no vacancies They tried the other hotel that was in the vicinity, but it was also full Hirosue wondered how there could be no vacant rooht The man at the front desk infor on at a baseball stadium nearby

“There aren’ton it’s usually like this,” he said

Their tih toin beside him, for he spoke up once they exited the hotel

“We could go into aThey could even afford to sleep outside, since it was su Another option was kill time at a twenty-four-hour faa cafe would be better in the sense that they wouldn’t feel guilty about overstaying Hirosue felt apologetic In a childish fit, he had kept the ive Matsuoka a hotel to stay in for the night

They started out by heading froa cafe Since Hirosue did not know the toell, he headed in a direction where the lights were arettes fro machine in front of a convenience store It looked like he could not do without them

Soon, the colour of the neon signs around thee Hirosue tilted his head in perplexity until he soon realized that they had wandered into the love hotel district

When he hastily made to turn into another street, he heard a voice beside him

“I don’tinto a love hotel”

Hirosue felt his heart skip a beat

“Yeah, but…” He was a little hesitant at the suggestive air of a love hotel, but when he thought of how Matsuoka had spent the night before on the hotel floor, he wanted to let the ht

“You’re right” Hirosue suess it doesn’t reallyto sleep”

“Are you sure you just want to sleep?” Matsuoka asked

“Um… yeah”

“You don’t want to have sex withway, looking him in the eye Hirosue felt his face burn

“But… um…” The words faltered on his lips To be honest, he did want to try it He wanted to try and touch the man But to say that now, in this situation, seemed all too materialistic He felt like Matsuoka would think he had made him stay behind for this purpose

“Um… but I’m sure you’re tired today, so…” he

“I don’ta verbal bomb Hirosue sed hard

“But…”

“I want you to decide e’re going to do, right here, right now ―I need to mentally prepare, too”

He had dragged Matsuoka around for the whole day today―no, since yesterday The man was probably quite exhausted But… His pulse thudded almost painfully in his ears, and a sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead He felt lightheaded as if he were drunk, and he almost fell over When he hastily took a deep breath, he felt his emotions settle into place

Hirosue set his ht hand

“Is there anything I need to get?”

Matsuoka tilted his head

“Anything we’d need to do it ―I’m not very well-versed”

Matsuoka’s face flushed slightly “I’,” he said

Hirosue walked down the hotel district, still holding Matsuoka’s hand, and entered the closest love hotel It had one vacant room, so they decided on that

The room was sleekly co-ordinated with crea visibly erotic―other than the one large bed in the middle of the room

“I haven’t been in a love hotel in ages It’s nice Looks like a business hotel”

Matsuoka sat down on the bed Hirosue stood frozen at the entrance with nervousness Matsuoka paid no mind to him as he opened the cabinets, checked inside the drawers, and otherwise explored various parts of the room After he had completed a round of that, he asked, “Can I take a shower first?”

“Um… sure,” Hirosue answered

Matsuoka disappeared into the bathroom Hirosue cautiously approached the bed and perched on it like a guest He was excessively rattled and restless Even his fingertips were shaking Fifteen minutes, twenty… after thirty an to feel concerned that Matsuoka was taking too long But he hesitated to speak up He felt like if he did, the er to have sex

He was still ihts when Matsuoka finally came out Hirosue slipped past the man and half-fled into the bathroo hi fresh out of his bath Matsuoka had left the tub filled ater for hi the bathrooh, but since Matsuoka had put all of his clothes back on after taking his shower, Hirosue also decided to wear his clothes as well

Matsuoka was lying on his back on the bed Hirosue had a feeling he had fallen asleep He decided to blow-dry his hair for the ti But even after he came back, Matsuoka did not so much as twitch Hirosue cautiously climbed on the bed and crawled towards Matsuoka When he peered into the ular

His slu face was beautiful

“Are you asleep?” he whispered Matsuoka’s closed eyes opened slowly, startling Hirosue

“No”

“Are you sleepy?”

“Not really” Matsuoka covered his face with his hands “―When I was in the shower, I kept thinking you were going to leave”

“Why?”

There was no answer to his inquiry As they gazed into each other’s eyes, Hirosue felt a bittersweet and sensual impulse stir within him

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, stroking Matsuoka’s cheek

“Would you stop if I said no?”

Maybe he doesn’t want to kiss, Hirosue thought hesitantly as he looked down Matsuoka propped himself up a little and kissed hi

They exchanged kisses as they took off each other’s clothes Hirosue unbuttoned and opened Matsuoka’s shi+rt, exposing his thin, flat chest and his small nipples They were the same parts as his own, yet Matsuoka’s definitely exuded an erotic allure

They were so sently touched it with his palrasp, so he tried pinching the blushi+ng bud with his fingers A breathy whi a shi+ver up his spine

When he rubbed it with the flat of his finger, the undetectable bud darkened and hardened into a point As if mesmerized, Hirosue kissed it and wrapped his lips around it Matsuoka’s thin chest rose and fell in large asps His voice was so arousing, Hirosue sucked his nipples over and over

Their bodies were practically pressed up against each other, and Hirosue could feel the other h the fabric Matsuoka was probably aware of Hirosue’s desire as well, which was euilty

He was curious to see the part which showed the man’s arousal so honestly―the desire came naturally to him But when Matsuoka noticed Hirosue’s hand on his boxers, he resisted so vehemently that Hirosue hesitated

“I don’t want to take my bottoms off,” Matsuoka said flatly

“Why not?”

Matsuoka looked down “I don’t want you to see”

“But I want to see”

“It looks the same as yours”

It was hard to get any more blunt than that

“Yeah, but I want to see what yours looks like, Matsuoka”

“You’ll just get disgusted” Matsuoka was stubborn

“―Then just show me a little bit If I feel like I can’t handle it, I won’t take theed to reason with hi someone else in this state It was very vivid and was even soh he kneas a horrible person for feeling this way, he was strongly aroused by the sight of Matsuoka, e his face with his hands so he wouldn’t be seen