Part 6 (2/2)
”What would you do if you were in my case?”
”Leave the whole business and prefer thedoubtful You are ahat my creed is I profess no belief in God, and no belief in what hangs upon it Try and name now, any earnest conviction you possess, and see whether you have a single one which I have not got”
”I DO believe in God”
”There is nothing in that statement What do you believe about Hi, in truth, which I do not also believe of the lahich govern the universe and man”
”I believe in an intellect of which these laws are the expression”
”Nohat kind of an intellect can that be? You can assign to it no character in accordance with its acts It is an intellect, if it be an intellect at all, which will s up a city, and will create the music of Mozart for s to birth His Majesty King George IV, and the love of an affectionate mother for her child; an intellect which, in the person of a tender girl, shows an exquisite conscience, and in the person of one or two religious creatures whom I have known, shows a conscience alical friends that their mere affir anything or nothing The question, the all-important question is, WHAT can be affirument naturally admits of a more precise statement than mine I cannot encompass God with a well-marked definition, but for all that, I believe in Hiainst the belief, but I cannot help thinking that the man who looks upon the stars, or the articulation of a leaf, is irresistibly impelled, unless he has been corrupted by philosophy, to say, There is intellect there
It is the instinct of the child and of the ain I ask, WHAT intellect is it?”
”Again I say, I do not know”
”Then why dispute? Why make such a fuss about it?”
”It really seems to me of immense ih you say it is of no importance It appears to be of less importance than it really is, because I do not think that even you ever empty the universe of intellect I believe thatbut mind, and that you worshi+p it when you ad sun You think you eject ine a belief which looks upon the world as a ine it, it would be depressing in the last degree to me I know that I have mind, and to live in a universe in which my mind is answered by no other would be unbearable Better any sort of intelligence than none at all
But, as I have just said, your case admits of plainer statement than mine You and I have talked this ical victory over you Often I have felt thoroughly prostrated by you, and yet, when I have left you, the old superstition has arisen unsubdued I do not kno it is, but I always feel that upon this, as upon many other subjects, I never can really speak ht presents itself to ive it body and expression, but I cannot I a truer and deeper to be said about the existence of God than anything I have said, and what isin ht”
”Ah, you are now getting into the region of sentio into the clouds, I never try to follow the in the ar her head on her hand and with her feet crossed one over the other on the fender She had been listening silently and motionless She now closed her eyes and said -
”Father, father, it is not true”
”What is not true?”
”I do not y is not true, but you make Mr Rutherford believe you are what you are not Mr
Rutherford, father sometimes tells us he has no sentiment, but you must take no notice of him when he talks in that way I always think of our visit to the seaside two years ago The railway-station was in a disagreeable part of the town, and e ca houses There were cards in the ith 'Lodgings' written on theo in to ask the terms I said that I did not wish to stay in such a dull street, but father could not afford to pay for a sea view, and so ent in to inquire We then found that e thought were the fronts of the houses were the backs, and that the fronts faced the bay They had pretty gardens on the other side, and a glorious sunny prospect over the ocean”
Mardon laughed and said -
”Ah, Mary, there is no sea front here, and no garden”
I took up o Both pressed ain, and at last said -
”I believe you've never once heard Mary sing”
Mary protested, and pleaded that as they had no piano, Mr Rutherford would not care for her poor voice without any accoot out the ”Messiah” Her father took a tuning-fork out of his pocket, and having struck it, Mary rose and began, ”He was despised” Her voice was not powerful, but it was pure and clear, and she sang with that perfect taste which is begotten solely of a desire to honour the Master The song always had a profound charm for me Partly this was due to association The words and tones, which have been used to embody their emotions by those e have loved, are doubly expressive e use the is potent too, because with utth it reveals the secret of the influence of the story of Jesus nobody would be bold enough to cry, THAT TOO IS MY CASE, and yet the poorest and the huht to the consolation that Jesus was a rief
For some reason or the other, or for many reasons, Mary's voice wound itself into the very centre of edy of all huenius The ball rose in my throat, the tears idly
Presently she ceased There was silence for a moment I looked round, and saw that Mardon's face was on the table, buried in his hands I felt that I had better go, for the presence of a stranger, when the heart is deeply stirred, is an intrusion I noiselessly left the rooot to the door she said: ”I forgot that ht to have known better” Her own eyes were full; I thought the pressure of her hand as she bade ood- bye was a little fir i her ti kiss, and passed out into the street It was pouring with rain, and I had neither overcoat nor uot hos, did I become aware of any contrast between the sphere into which I had been exalted and the earthly commonplace world by which I was surrounded
CHAPTER VII--EMANcipaTION