Background Interlude 2-1: On Gods (2/2)

NURPH

Nurph. Nurph the buzzkill. Nurph the honest. Nurph, the god whose tagline is ”Well, actually...”

Nurph's domain is truth and honor. Which is annoying, because he's an enormous workaholic, always trying to quantify things, and figure out what is ”right” and ”good”. And it doesn't help that he's always convinced of his righteousness.

Nurph doesn't make things of his own, he critiques others, and tries to optimize them, and offers helpful suggestions, and the other gods just put him in charge of balancing out everything because he was doing it anyway and this kept him off their specific asses for more than a few days at a time, usually. Nurph's rallying cry, echoed by his clerics, is ”That's not fair!”

But... for all that...

Sometimes it ISN'T fair. And when that's the case, Nurph's clerics are the ones down there in the trenches, fighting and dying to MAKE it fair. Which is why for all the other gods roll their eyes, they're quietly glad he's there. Nurph is the reason that ”Right makes might” exists as a notion, and enough people follow it that civilization and all its comforts are possible.

Prayers to Nurph get exactly the response and answer that he's allowed to give you, no matter the temptation to reveal more. And he's always happy to weigh in on a dispute or disagreement. Sometimes he'll even pray you back after the fact, with new notions and ideas. Sometimes in the middle of the night, because you can always sleep later, right?

Nurph's Godspell is Assess Challenge, which tells you the odds of completing a difficult task or fighting a particular enemy. Nurph's clerics like to use this one all the time and cheerfully tell their companions the results. How helpful!

Nurph has oracles, mainly people who have major OCD issues, and folks in authority positions who manage to do them pretty well AND follow the rules.

Nurph is... okay with the changeover. At least everyone has no excuse for not knowing the rules, anymore. But sweet HIM, there's so much work to do. It looks like whatever force was in charge of the changeover left loopholes and expoits EVERYWHERE! He's gonna be fixing those for the next millenia or two, at LEAST.

Nurph's rival is Gank. The thing's he's had to talk that guy down from... and by talk he means fight, because it's literally come to blows sometimes. Nurph doesn't hate, it's not in his nature, but boy howdy does Gank make it hard.

OLD KOSS

Old Koss is the god of farming and harvests and food overall, and of course he's fat you young whippersnapper! Get off his lawn! Don't steal his apples of immortality! Naw, just kidding, those were regular apples, but it was fun watchin' ya dodge the guardians. Haw haw haw! Now pull his finger!

Yeah, that's Old Koss. Surly old god who's been around forever, who has an inordinate love of Dad jokes and was born with a beard. Surprsingly not worshipped by most dwarves, who view cultivating as a necessary evil. He treats everyone younger than him as an idiot, and hates to be proven right. He makes sure the rest of you have enough food to eat and beer to drink. You're welcome. Ingrates. His clerics ensure that famers don't get dumb, and their community has enough to eat. Most of them are fat and happy, though it's against doctrine to ever admit happiness when you can grumble and blame young folks instead.

Prayers to Koss actually work in reverse. You have to listen to HIM gripe, and if you manage to endure it, then eventually you can get a word or two in. As long as it's simple stuff, he'll offer good advice. Complicated city-folk stuff gets his scorn.

Old Koss' Godspell is Survey Land, which tells clerics how good soil is, when to plant crops, and how best to farm them. It's both amazingly good for farming and completely useless for most adventurers, which is the way Old Koss likes it.

In fact, he's really angry about the whole switchover thing. Now containers come with arbitrary item storage limits, and there's weirdness to food, not to mention the way it instantly and visible recharges quantifiable stats. The whole thing has stolen all the mystery from his domain! To this day he wanders the halls of heaven, griping to all the other gods and to random long-suffering heavenly guardians about how it ain't right. Just ain't right. He has very few oracles, mainly because he don't hold truck with that newfangled nonsense and clerics are just fine! Hell, back in his day, there were only FOUR jobs...

He has an entirely understandable rivalry with Pau, the shifting-gendered god/goddess of oceans and storms mainly because he's never forgiven him/her for taking fishing to be part of her/his portfolio, and because no matter how good the farmers are, they still need the weather to cooperate, in order to make it all work.

PAU

Pau!

Pau has both genders, and shifts between them as he/she pleases. Pau is the deity of storms and oceans and smart sailors, and Pau goes from placid and gentle to chaotic and overwhelming in the blink of an eye.

Pau's clerics strive to keep him/her placated, and ensure that fishing and water travel are not harmed. Sometimes they succeed. It's hard to keep up with Pau.

Prayers to Pau are either super relaxed and easy to understand, or highly dramatic, with special effects and random rainstorms, and high-stakes answers. There's no in between.

Pau's Godspell is Call Water, good on sea voyages and for dousing hotheads.

Pau has been long involved with oracles, even before the changeover, and sees no reason to change that. His/her feelings swing back and forth on the changeover. He/she hates having something influence her portfolio without her control, but on the other hand, it's made things more exciting. So... the ocean rolls on, and the rain comes down, and things continue.

Pau has an entirely understandable rivalry with Old Koss, and he/she loves seeing the old guy grump at her/him, taking it with fondness for the old codger. Except when he/she hates it, and lashes out in fury.

RANDO/RNG

Rando and RNG, have the dubious honor of being the part-time gods of luck. Male and Female respectively, they split when the changeover happened. No one's quite sure where RNG came from, it could honestly just be Rando in drag playing a joke on everyone, so the gods haven't asked any questions about it just in case it IS a trick and Rando's trying to make them the butt of it.

Rando used to ensure that luck evened out, and everyone got their fair share. But then the changeover happened and he went from awesome cosmic power to being a spectator, as his hands were forced back from so, so many everyday events. It broke him, and he stepped down for a long time, going to nobody knew where. RNG appeared to fill the gap, and ensure that clerics prayers got answered and oracles got empowered, and offenders against fortune and fate were properly punished. She's been doing a pretty good job... when she's there. Every so often Rando shows back up, drunk and depressed, and delights in handing out bad luck whenever and wherever he can.

Clerics of Rando regard gambling as sacred, monitor local games for fairness, and never cheat. That's one of the few things that unites Rando and RNG against them.

Prayers to Rando either go well, if you catch RNG, or poorly, if Rando's on the other end of the line.

His/her godspell is Double or Nothing. The cleric flips a coin and calls it. If he calls it, his luck doubles for a short time. If he fails, his luck drops to 1 for a short time. Most smart clerics of Rando/RNG only use this when they're seriously up against the wall with no way out.

Rando doesn't appoint oracles, but RNG does. Oddly enough, she usually notifies them through the mail or equivalent, sending them notices to let them know they've just won something. Many such notices get thrown away, but the ones that get opened that ARE from RNG, bestow oracular powers and more complicated lives.

As stated above, the changeover broke Rando, but RNG's dealing with it well. So she doesn't control everything like Rando used to, but whatever. Prayers are still coming in, luck's still running hot and cold, and life goes on.

Rando and RNG have a long-running rivalry with Nebs, trying to keep heroes and other lucky sorts alive even when they should be rightfully dead many times over.

RITAXIS

Ritaxis, goddess of war, loves her job. It strengthens her, strengthens her people, it's good for the economy, and ensures plenty of future business down the road.

Hm? The dead? Eh, that's just how it goes. Not her problem. Talk to Nebs.

Ritaxis is all about killing, but unlike Gank, she's about killing for a purpose, and doing it to accomplish a wider-scale goal. Whether this means following Nurph's rules or letting Gank out to play depends on what accomplishes the job faster and more efficiently. Her clerics are always in demand, and often form military orders, which coincidentally sometimes unlock second tier options like Knight Templar and Warmaster, so that's all well and good anyway. It does mean that her priests are often more disciplined than other clerics, and far better at fighting. A fact she loves to brag about and see justified, mind you.

Prayers to Ritaxis are best kept short. She's busy, private. On the upside, her replies are fast and straightforward.

Ritaxis' Godspell is Weapon Specialization, which technically is a godskill and not normally allowed, but she pulled rank on Nurph and argued her case with admirable strategy, tactics, and even alliances until he caved. But it does advance a little more slowly than the duellist's version of it, so her clerics have to do more fighting to get as good at it as duellists do. Which is fine with her.

She's neutral with the switchover. Not a thing she can do about it, so she doesn't care. Besides, it was good for business when it first hit.

Her oracles are always born on the battlefield, to no one's surprise.

Ritaxis has a rivalry with Weeky, who despite her nerdiness, has proven that even the best fighters can be outsmarted time and again. It is so, so very aggravating. After all, Weeky doesn't even lift!

WEEKY

Weeky lifts plenty! Weeky lifts books! And scrolls, and anything else with words that she can get in front of her glasses.

Weeky is a nerd's nerd, complete with snorting laugh, messy hygiene, and a love of anything she hasn't read yet. Her clerics follow her lead, founding libraries and schools and universities, and sharing knowledge freely. Many of them dabble in harder careers that require study and experimentation, such as alchemist and enchanter and wizard.

Prayers to Weeky are really fruitful, but the trick is keeping her on topic. You learn a lot, but sometimes it's not really anything useful right now. You can make Weeky really happy by telling her something she didn't know, and she might use her massive smarts to slip you a more specific answer than she's normally allowed to give, by means of a coded answer or a riddle that makes the whole thing clear if you're smart enough to decipher it.

Weeky's Godspell is Knack for Languages, so you can learn new things regardless of what language they come in. Of course to honor her properly you really should learn the language on your own, but in case you don't have the time, it's a good shortcut. And this can help you learn it, so yay!

Weeky's Oracles come from scientists, conspiracy theorists, and occultists alike. Anyone who explores odd knowledge and shares it enough is eligible for her favor.

Weeky initially loved the switchover. So much new stuff to read! Although the more she reads, and the more she thinks of the bigger implications, the more worried she is. The more she learns the more her fear grows, and unless things stabilize soon, she may turn her people and her massive mind to finding a way to undo it, even if it means breaking some big rules. She estimates there's currently a 16% chance that won't go horribly wrong, so she's holding off. For now.

Weeky has a rivalry with Ritaxis, who both hates her and needs her. Ritaxis thinks she's weak as hell, but she has all the good military strategy books. Weeky, for her part, is frightened of Ritaxis, because so much knowledge and experience gets wiped out in the fires of war. My goodness! Sometimes armies even burn LIBRARIES!

YORGUM

Yorgum the Builder is never satisfied.

He crafts, and he crafts, and he crafts, but nothing's ever quite good enough for him. There's always a way to improve it. And so his clerics go spread the faith, and learn to craft, and find ways to constantly improve on their work and others. And for a time, that's good enough. Occasionally it all becomes too much for him, and old Burntbeard retires to his heavenly forge, and disappears for a few years, returning with a new artifact or schematic that makes the other gods blanch. That's the point they shove Nurph forward to get him to tell Yorgum why it wouldn't work for the balance, or mollify him by letting Yorgum put it into the world, just in a really deep dungeon guarded by dragons and titans and other horrific threats.

Prayers to Yorgum are answered directly, Yorgum doesn't hold with that prophecy and riddles shit. It does mean he usually can't guide his clerics as much as other gods could, but most mortals appreciate the lack of pussyfooting around. And the ones who don't don't worship him or do good crafting anyway, so fuck'em.

Yorgum's Godspell is Mend. Good for fixing broken things so you can get back to improving them, instead of wasting time on repairs.

Yorgum has a few Oracles, usually folks who make an amazing crafting breakthrough. His standards are really high though, so it's both a blessing and a curse.

The burned beard god loves the changeover. Now that crafting is much easier, it's let him guide mortals to push the boundaries of crafting farther and faster than he'd ever hoped. The other gods have been trying to reign him in, but whatever. Why just two decades ago, Aeterna and Nebs teamed up to deny him a solid and reliable means of giving mortals immortality through body-hopping! He was so angry about that! But little do they know he already laid the seeds for its revelation. Just a matter of a few nudges here or there, and sitting back, waiting for the right circumstances to come along. Boy, will they be surprised when they see it! Heh, heh...

Yorgum has a rivalry with Aeterna, who is entirely unreasonable and refuses to let him make something that will truly last forever. After all, Konol did it! Why can't he?