Background Interlude 2-1: On Gods (1/2)

ON GODS

Long ago, the gods were far more present in the world.

This lead to a number of problems, and a whole lot of holy wars. It all came to blows when the god of dining, (Fuudi) threw down with the god of expediency, (Max) whose followers had just invented fast food. The Sandwich Jihad lasted for twenty-six years, wiped out two nations, rearranged the borders, and ended with both gods dead, and their allied deities so upset about it that the resulting God Wars went through the pantheon of Generica like a wildfire.

Two centuries later, twelve gods remain, patching up the holes, still absorbing the dead gods' pantheons, and trying to run around making it work. They now have a strict rule about interference, with no divine materializations or avatars allowed, and an ”Everyone-gets-equal-influence” rule. Basically, every time a god does something that isn't within the carefully written divine code of conduct, their rival gets allowed an equal act, or amount of influence.

Since most gods get along like the high school students of your choice, this usually serves to keep things in check. Although some of the rivalries are more serious than others, most of the time it works.

Most of the time.

Then, forty years ago, just as they were getting things sorted out the world changed. Words appeared to mortals, empowering them with things the gods never intended. Some took it in stride. Others... not so much.

The most common theory among the gods is that one of their dead brethren was holding something in check. And with his death, a forbidden seal broke, or something escaped, and now the world is chaos because of it.

None of them want to admit the second-most-common theory, even though it preys on their minds. The notion that whatever happened has nothing to do with them, and there is a greater power in control of the world than even the gods...

Of the twelve gods, thirteen are worshipped and provide powers to their clerics and oracles.

Yes, I know. One of them's technically dead. See the descriptions below, that should clear it up a bit.

Gods are touchable in two ways by clerics. Well more, since technically they're the source of clerics' powers. Yes, clerics get all the healie and helpy stuff regardless of their god, but there's two level one spells which have significant impact depending on which god they're from.

Oracles are different. Oracles happen when a mortal accomplishes something of great significance to a particular god. They get the chance to be an oracle, and those who follow the call have the double-edged joy of a more personal relationship with their patron.

The ”Pray to...” spell lets a cleric contact their patron god. The mortal can speak directly with the god, and usually use the spell to ask for advice. Though the gods aren't allowed to give TOO much away in a pray spell, they can and do subtly nudge things toward a suitable conclusion for that god. In the end, though, it's up to the cleric to decipher the advice and follow and implement it. And some gods get pissy if you use it too much. They've got shit to do, making the world do world stuff, go figure it out yourself!

Then there's Godspell. Godspell lets the cleric have one spell that clerics of other deities don't get. That godspell is different for each deity. It's usually helpful, and fairly minor in the grand scheme of things.

THE TWELVE(THIRTEEN) GODS

Aeterna, Lady of Time is not the oldest god, but she's a close second after Konol. It usually comes down to her and Nebs arguing over it, while the rest of the gods roll their eyes and find excuses to be elsewhere. But when she's not trying to put Nebs in his place, she's busy making sure time runs as it's meant to. A more difficult job than you'd expect, these days. That said, she's tolerant, a bit of a workaholic, and tends to be as curt and to the point as possible. Which is probably why dwarves make up her largest following.

Aeterna asks that her followers be punctual, thorough, and resist the incursion of cosmic entities that would destroy time. All things in all, it's not much to ask, really. Prayers to Aeterna are answered relatively quickly, simply, and efficiently, though she's not without a sense of compassion and will provide a shoulder to cry upon for someone in need.

Aeterna's Godspell is called Extend Life, and by casting it, you ensure that the target will not die of old age-related issues for the next year. However... it doesn't prevent aging, or any of the aches and pains that come with it. As such, most use it to ensure they get a few more years to wrap up their business, and do that thing they always meant to do, before they go to the great beyond.

Aeterna has quite a few oracles, she chooses philosophical sorts who are very orderly. Part of this is because she's come to regard the changeover as a necessary evil, and is experimenting with it. Though no job her oracles have unlocked has been able to do time travel (yet), the concept intrigues her, and she was the reason Time Mages were an early Tier 2 class to surface. (Also Time lords, though that was more of an accident and she's seriously annoyed about the whole incident.) In essence, Aeterna is experimenting with her own concept's power. This could be a good or bad thing, but fortunately for everyone she's going about it in a smart way.

So far.

Aeterna has a rivalry with Yorgum, and he is so very, very frustrated that she's winning. She doesn't hate the guy, but her tagline is that time wears down all things built, and, well, she IS time.

AGNES

Agnes is the goddess everyone loves to hate.

You've known a follower of Agnes, we all have. Agnes is the goddess of cruelty and the abuse of authority. She's the patron of tyrants, bad teachers, and folks who long to be hurt. She's a busy goddess, but fortunately she loves her job. And she's surprisingly merciful, when approached properly. If you know you're in for a bad time, make an offering and take your punishment like a good boy, and she'll make it quick. Or ask her to toughen you up for an ordeal, and she'll take to the job with gusto.

Prayers to Agnes are usually answered with mockery and verbal abuse, and sometimes form a regular part of the praying cleric's love life, much to her amusement. But if you can take the abuse, then she'll grudgingly provide an answer that's often more helpful than that of many of her peers.

Agnes' godspell, to no one's surprise, is ”Enhance Pain.” The fact that it's a common cultist spell raises some eyebrows, but she insists that she came up with it first and brandishes her riding crop at anyone who insists otherwise while glaring at them over her spectacles. Agnes has very few oracles, though she does have a soft spot for those who have suffered more than they ought to, and sometimes ”blesses” them with fun powers.

She regards the changeover as an opportunity for more chaos and suffering, and is validated by the fact that to gain levels, adventurers must cause and suffer pain. Although on the whole, the changeover is rather disorderly, which irks her. Clearly, the answer is more punishment until it gets sorted out.

Agnes has a rivalry with Hoon the Wanderer, who doesn't sweat the small stuff and benefits when the rules aren't too tight and people are enjoying life. Oddly enough, to their peers (Though they'd never comment on it) Hoon and Agnes seem like an old married couple when they fight. And their shameful hookups are studiously ignored by the other gods.

GANK

Gank. Oh, Gank. Gank is the god of murder and overkill.

Gank is the reason we can't have nice things.

He is the god of solving your problems with violence, permanently, regardless of the problems it causes. There's not much else to him, he's simple and brutal and most polite socities pretend that they never worship him or curry his favor. But he know. He knows you'll be back, when it's time to spray that blood or go in for awesome vengeance.

Prayers to Gank usually aren't very helpful, unless you want him to cheer you on. His suggestions always involve killing your problem, or killing people until your problem's gone. Still, he occasionally lets things slip he shouldn't, if you approach him the right way.

His godspell is Dolorous Strike, which kills things HARDER.

Oracles of Gank rarely come to it as a first class. Usually somebody who slaughters enough people or leads a marauding horde attracts his attention, and gets his blessing. Style counts too, not just numbers.

Gank is fine with the switchover. Business as usual for him either way, and he doesn't do philosophy so he doesn't think much on the deeper ramifications. Thinking cuts into murderin' time!

Gank is Nurph's chief rival, and the two have epic screaming matches that usually end up with a lot of the scenery being broken and the other gods holding them back. Nurph tries to reign in Gank's fun, and fuck that noise! Fucking wimp!

HOON

And then there's Hoon the wanderer, the original party boy. He's been through a few names, mainly because his followers are big on exploring new places and meeting new people. Hoon is the one that's stuck, and he's the patron of trade and travel.

Hoon is jolly, clever, and really bad at following rules, especially with regards to staying out of other people's territory, or if there's coin to be made. But he's so charismatic that most forgive him. Eventually. He DOES miss the days when he could divinely manifest, as he left a string of semi-divine bastards from one end of the continent to the other, but eh. He just has to live vicariously through his clerics now. They unsurprisingly view indulgence and partying as a sacred work.

Oracles of Hoon usually wake up to their new state after a seriously wicked bender, though a few come at it by doing unexpectedly good business.

His godspell is Winning Smile, which lets priests and priestesses make good first impressions and hopefully avoid being Ganked off hand for being foreigners.

Hoon doesn't know what to make of the switchover. Overall he doesn't like it, because now there's all these RULES and STUFF and man it's a drag. On the other hand, it means that a lot more adventurers have to move around if they want to keep leveling, and he's FINALLY getting a handle on how the economy should work now that loot-replicating dungeons and gold-dropping wild animals are a thing. It's still a mess, but it looks like there might be a way to make it a PROFITABLE mess, so that's all well and good.

Hoon is Agnes' rival, and he sends her into frenzies by refusing to take her seriously. But she gets her own back, with this little invention she called taxes, and boy does it hurt him to see his followers pay those...

KONOL

Konol the First is not actually one of the dozen remaining gods because, well, they're dead.

But they died before this god war nonsense. In a way, they're the first thing that ever truly died. Konol is also genderless, because they were around before all that nonsense started.

You see, Konol is widely credited with pulling the world from the black sea that was all creation was until they came along. But the act was so mighty that they fell down dead after doing it. Konol asks for nothing save that their work not be in vain... at least that's what his clerics assume. Their prayers to this genderless deity are reportedly like touching the slumbering, dreaming mind of something vast and benevolent in an unfocused way.

Konol doesn't exactly advise, as show images related to the topic the cleric raises. It's nowhere as good as Oracle's visions though, but a wise cleric can use it to sort his thoughts out, and Konol doesn't mind. It's good to have company, when you're dead.

Konol's Godspell is a weird one, though. The name of it is an odd mix of letters and numbers arranged in groups of six, and to date, no one's found a use for it. Konol has a lot of oracles, more in recent years. They seem to be concerned about creation being at risk, ever since the incursion of the words forty years ago. The change has worried Konol, and the tiny part of him that's not completely dead is very concerned about it.

Konol has no rivals. All the other twelve gods respect him and want him alive again. With one exception...

NEBS

All the gods want Konol alive again except Nebs. That's because Nebs is the goddess of death and theft, and she earned her title by stealing Konol's life and passing him beyond.

Nebs allows no exceptions. She's impartial, can't be reasoned with, and really, theft is only in there because a few gods died horribly back in the god wars. But since assassins and other roguely types who kill often need a patron too, she's set aside her druthers to be their goddess.

Prayers to Nebs are surprisingly informal, and she's happy to talk about anything, really. Smart clerics of hers know this, and offer her prayers to tell them about their lives, or things that don't involve work. She actually appreciates the chance to catch up on things outside her purview, and usually repays personal consideration with good advice, or comfort.

Nebs' Godspell is Fast as Death, which lets its user either escape trouble or kill faster, so either way it's good for her people to have.

Nebs has Oracles, but weirdly, she's not in charge of handing that job out. It usually happens when someone has a brush with death, or steals something with major, major consequences. She's as surprised as anyone else when her oracles turn up, and those that survive, she tries to ease into their power.

Nebs is fine with the changeover. Makes her job easier in some ways... it used to be that people wailed and cursed death. Now everyone accepts that if your hit points hit zero, that's it. It's lesssened the number of angry souls, when she finally meets them.

Nebs has a rivalry with Rando/RNG, whose people routinely try to cheat death. She has to remind them that the house always wins in the end. Recently she's also joined forces with Aeterna a time or two against Yorgum, telling him to reign in some of his more ambitious plans, and warning him off exploiting loopholes around death. He's backed down recently, but she doesn't like the weird smug smile that burnbeardy gets whenever she and Aeterna are in the same room with him...