Chapter 159 - My SI Stash #59 - Awesome Is My Middle Name by GodsWorld (Harry Potter) (2/2)
'Did she just whacked him with the frying pan?' thought all of us sitting in the car at the same time.
Petunia opened the car door and said ”Well now that we are ready. I would like to remind all of you that I don't want any sort of misbehavior from any of you even you Vernon and if any you complain I will be the one to bash your heads with what I consider women's greatest weapon”
Nobody dared to argue even Dudley who personally had a taste of the 'women's greatest weapon' multiple times.
'Well, Only you Mom can control these animals to behave decently' I thought knowing that my Aunt is amazing.
.Chapter 2: Harry James Evans
We drove to the zoo. The ride was actually kind of awkward for all of us because it was just that silent. I sighed in relief when I saw the gate of the zoo near us.
Dudley ran of with his friend/minion followed by Vernon who just wanted an excuse to stay away from me.
Petunia took my hand and we roamed across the zoo looking for anything interesting. She asked ”Which animal would you like to see Harry?”
”Giraffe” I quickly replied knowing that it was her favorite animal and the only thing I want to see today was my Aunt smile
She beamed at me ”Well what are we waiting for?”
We visited the animals all over the zoo taking pictures of us with the animals. We both loved that people complimented us on being the best mother and son combo. It was always a delight that me and my aunt were considered a little family of our own by the people. Even when we are together with the rest of the Dursleys, everybody is extremely quick to the assumption that the rest of the Dursleys are just really terrible neighbors. Even Petunia is in on the joke taking her maiden name 'Evans' whenever we are seen together.
We saw Dudley trying to wake a bloody snake and doesn't realizes that the snake tail was twitching madly all around the other side of the glass pane. Petunia just rubs her eyes sighing ”That fool is going to be the death of me and where is that oaf?” looking around for her bastard of a husband, even I started to look grudgingly impressed that the fatass can hide even with all that fat on his belly.
Dudley now tired of bothering the snake now goes to mess around the gorillas. I now having an opportunity to speak parseltongue with the snake talked to it (Hey! If you have a gift then you damn well use that gift because its worth it)
”Hello Friend” I hissed to the snake who now wakes up comes towards me looking at me as a subject of interest.
”You Speak” It hissed back displaying his shock on a human speaking snake tongue
”I can. I have a question for you friend. Have you seen a human swine who reeks of whiskey and wears a mustache with more bits of food than hair?” I asked giving a perfect non-biased description of Vernon.
The snake scowled for a moment then answered ”Oh I have witnessed him and his image makes my skin crawl. I believe he is near the lions den” I pitied the snake as I also understood the pain of seeing the disgusting image of Vernon daily.
Now knowing where that bastard is, I neared the lions cages that I saw Petunia horror-stricken putting her hand over her mouth. I immediately look towards where she was looking and I understood why she reacted like that. Vernon Dursley was drunk in a narrow alley around a shed in the zoo trying to s_e_x_u_a_lly assault a 11 year old young girl who was so terrified that she couldn't scream. I knew he was a bastard but this was step too far even for him. I went towards him grabbing the nearest thing I could find which ended up being a shovel, raised it above my head and BAM!
Vernon fell and was knocked out by the hit. The girl screamed thinking she was about to get r_a_p_ed or something like that, After opening her eyes she saw the bastard knocked out and saw me holding the shovel. She jumped at me saying thank you over and over again. Finally looking at her I realized that she has light skin, bright brown eyes, lots of bushy brown hair and rather large front teeth.
Wait. The girl in my arm is the brains and beauty of the golden trio Hermione Granger Herself. Couldn't have gotten any more luckier than that as now I have a companion with me for the Hogwarts Express. (Woohoo plus for Plot convenience)
A dull sound was heard which led to me and Hermione looking towards Petunia who was now drilling her heels on Vernon's groin. (Ironic since Vernon as the Director of Grunnings which is a drill-making company)
”That's it! I have enough of you and Dudley to the point where I am now sick of both of you. Vernon, I was giving you a final chance to let this grudge against Harry leave you but now after what you just did I don't care anymore” She angrily threw her wedding ring towards an unconscious Vernon and walks towards me.
”I am so proud of you Harry and I am so sorry Dear about that bad man, I will make sure that he ends up in a prison for that stunt of his. Dear, would you like to tell me your name” said Petunia in a polite manner trying to control her rage.
”Her-Hermione Granger, Miss” said Hermione obviously scared.
”HERMIONE” shouted a man who was rushing towards her. I assumed he was Hermione's father.
”DAD!” exclaimed Hermione obviously relieved to see him, confirming my assumption.
”Hello Sir, Are you the girl's father” asked Petunia. When the man nodded, she explained what happened to Hermione and the bastard who tried to assault her.
Her father went from horrified to extremely livid at seconds. I wouldn't have blame him if he had killed Vernon right there and then
Instead he calls for the law enforcement to handle the unconscious Vernon. The police came in arresting him on the spot, Dudley was also taken in because Petunia didn't want anything to do with the Dursley anymore.
They interrogated Hermione in a caring manner trying not to scare her even more than she already was. Surprisingly, Hermione calmly and thoroughly recited the event to the shock of the detective who moments ago founded Hermione with her dad scared as hell
They found out how he was knocked out and then the Officer told me he was proud of me that I protected Hermione from any harm and also gave me a warning to not put myself in any sort of danger
Mr. Granger expressed his gratitude towards me as well as Hermione who shyly gave me a peck in the cheek whispering ”you are my hero you know that”, much to my aunt's amus_e_m_e_nt and my embarrassment.
Well knowing that my aunt is now going to a solicitor to officially be divorced. I quickly followed her and bade farewell to the Granger, much to Hermione's disappointment
I assured her that we will probably meet again, in which she smiled beautifully toward me.
A week later, Petunia Dursley officially divorced Vernon Dursley and took her maiden name Petunia Evans. I don't know the legal work behind what occurred but Vernon Dursley was sentenced 3 years in prison for s_e_x_u_a_l assault and Public Indecency. Dudley was given custody to Marge Dursley who shouted curses at Petunia in the courtroom. I later heard from Petunia herself that the bailiffs had to drag her out of court because she was trying to order her dog Ripper to bite Petunia's legs off. Not that she succeeded, Even I know that the dog is a coward and in a room filled with people it wouldn't even dare to move.
The best thing about that fiasco was that now I am officially adopted to Mom (Aunt Petunia) and my named was changed from Harry James Potter to Harry James Evans. We also moved from 4 Privet Drive (The Dursleys House) to a house in Heathgate, Hampstead where I found out that the Grangers are now my neighbors.
Hermione was almost jumping around in joy and shock when she found that I and her will be living near each other. We went to her favorite places which ended up being the Public Library.
Hermione's parents were happy as Hermione has her first real friend. My mom was also happy with Hermione also being my first friend.
Mom and Hermione's parents became extremely good friends much to my and Hermione's joy as we didnt wanted to have any trouble being friends.
Mom with her savings and her consolation money started a small company named 'Swans Wings' which produces u_n_d_e_r_g_a_r_m_e_n_t for male and female as well as baby products.
Now one morning, there came a letter that was signed in green ink, If that wasn't interesting to anyone then probably whats written will be
To Harry James Evan,
Second Bedroom, 4 Heathgate,
Hampstead, England.
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Evans,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Now will be the time for the adventures of one amazing fellow that will change the course of history of magic.
Author Note:
Hello Everybody, My name is Godsworld
This is my first fanfic and this is not meant to be taken seriously
I hope you all like what you may read