Part 4 (1/2)

Leo letfor a while 'bout this Talk about a weird way toto have to visit Leo soon and see how hts strike his that Bobby warned ht anyway I can't understand what got into me, but I wanted it I wanted to try and there it was

I don't care how high I a all of it You can bet I'll do it again

Laura Deceht Not a real nice dream at all, a little sick in my opinion because I have so ly and bad for wanting love or affection He ruined all of est time I could only be pretty and sweet, because pretty and sas easy good grades even better No one wanted me I wouldn't even let on that I knehat sex was

He did ruin me, didn't he? I mean, in the dream he came to theat Leo's and saw ht in reality He kept showing this i by the tree and he said, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO ANY OF THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME

I told hi I told him I learned all that he sahen I was alone, so that I could do soood and be able to heal the wounds that he made

He said, ”OH, YEAH, THEN WHY DO YOU WANT LEO TO TIE YOU UP, MAYBE EAT YOU THAT WAY, MAKE YOU A SLAVE I KNOW YOU WANT IT JUST THE WAY I TAUGHT YOU, LITTLE bitch I SAW YOU WITH THE WAND, PLAYING WITH YOURSELF YOU WERE THINKING OF BAD BOY LEO, NOT BOBBY LITTLE BOY WHO WEEPS AFTER HE GETS fuckED BY A LITTLE slut LIKE YOU”

And I woke up Ashaht before e of my bed

YOU FORGOT, LAURA, I KNOW EVERYTHING, SEE EVERYTHING, GO ANYWHERE I WANT I COULD TELL YOU MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK ARE SECRETS THAN YOU COULD TELL YOURSELF! YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN, DIDN'T YOU, LET ME HAVE A NICE VACATION FROM THAT STENCH OF YOURS THEN YOU HAD TO CALL ME BACK RANCID LITTLE bitch! YOU'RE PRETTY MEAN TO ME SOMETIMES WHEN YOU WRITE, AREN'T YOU! WE'LL HAVE TO FIX THAT MAKE YOU LOVE ME LIKE YOU USED TO I REMEMBER THAT SOON YOU WILL TOO?

And then he disappeared I need to do soood, Today!

Who in the fuck is he and why does he hateelse I can't take it anyood and then someone ht and I feel wanted and excited all over again

I need to knohat I'ht me to wish to be tied up sometimes

I don't ever want to be hurt I never have I only want to play the gas like BOB thinks, and if I am punished I am punished with sex, not pain

BOB is not who puts these ideas in my head I won't let hihts

I'm afraid I'll never make it in and out of another sexual experience, ever, without being afraid he will come and tell everyone lies about me

If someone who loves me reads this years from now, please try not to hate me I only feel the way I feel I don't hurt anyone else, and I don't want to I try every day to be better and irl like ain! Why! I hter and a day where time is spent with ht They don't hate ht, with s, ashamed, and of hoish that er

BOB, I forbid you to coain, in dreams or in reality

You are not welcome! I hate you

I feel so alone, Laura January 10, 1987 Dear Diary, I tried to talk to Dad at breakfast and he just sat there twitching, like he doesn't have tihts Doesn't have tihter is having Neither one of my parents will talk to me What is this? Some kind of a dream?

Dad took off all of his clothes and shouted, ”It's a drea relax, would you? So yourthe little privates of other wo yourself Is this true?”

I've never been more afraid than I a when that ritten was I?

shi+t, this is too weird Just a little too weird

Was BOB here? Was BOB inside

I won't even think it

L

February 3, 1987 Dear Diary, There is no cocaine It's gone I hate the way I feel so much like I've been in a vacuues I have of Mo pictures I can't stop seeing Oh, if she ever knew the things that have happened

I wonder if anyone would believe me if I told them all I know about him I could have the police wait for him, until he showed up, but he would know just like he knows everything inhe bats around, with his paws I' to have to tell everyone and make them believe And just tell

TELL THEM WHAT, LAURA PALMER? TELL THEM THAT I TAKE YOU AWAY AND YOU NEVER ARGUE? YOU NEVER SCREAM FOR HELP? TELL THEM YOU SEE ME BUT NO ONE ELSE DOES? NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU, LAURA PALMER I'M TOO CAREFUL

Dear God it's happened again He's stepped onto the page This is not at all what I was trying to write! It frightens es ofthe words to my mind, just seconds in time forI can get for you, BOB anything the faht own that you would take in trade for your permanent absence?

Talk toelse

I AGREE I'LL TRADE

Who will it be?

CAN'T TELL WITH THESE THINGS I MAY CHANGE MY MIND

I thought so

L

April 2, 1987 Diary, I need coke, bad, or I'll never otta reach Bobby Where the fuck is he when I need hireat I'm here, Laura Palot a habit I've only just begun

I'

If he's in the woods he'll getfat line of confidence upwhite line that calls my name the way a lover should I wish BOB would trade If he does I'll try and find the person and tell them to beware OF THE MAN WHO CAN SLIP MAYBE IN AND OUT OF YOU LIKE A WIND THAT GOES UNNOTICED, THEN CREEPS UP ON YOU AND SHOVES A FIST INTO THE WOMAN spacE YOU SEEM TO HAVE FALLEN SO IN LOVE WITH, LAURA PALMER YOU SHOULDN'T WISH FOR THINGS YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT

REMEMBER, LAURA PALMER, I CAN MANIPULATE YOUR CONSCIENCE SO THAT YOU FEEL NOTHING BUT WHAT I CHOOSE FOR YOU TO FEEL DON'T YOU FEEL LIKE DYING, LAURA PALMER DON'T YOU JUST FEEL LIKE GIVING IN TO ME AGAIN TAKE ME BACK AND I WONT CAUSE A HORRIBLE ACCIDENT LATER TODAY IF SOMEONE GETS HURT, YOU CAN SMILE KNOWING IT'S ALL DUE TO YOU SELFISH, DRUG ADDICT, LESBIAN!

fuck you!

Maybe if I just get to Leo's for soether and earnit back It belongs to me I just need some coke I need a ride out of here fuck it, I'll walk I'll just get up walk downstairs and out the front door like nothing is wrong I'll get so will be better I will be able to think I'll just walk to Leo's and everything will be fine

I'll bring you with me, Diary - Laura April 2, 1987 Dear Diary, Leo had coet to the door