Part 4 (2/2)
Oh, God money shi+t! Maybe he'll front the coke toout of the house
Talk soon, L Leo will be fair about the coke money, I hope I hope I hope
April 2, 1987 Back, and happy at Leo's: He's got it, and it's good He just set h the ain feel the blood in my veins I told Leo I wasn't like this weird addict, but I just haven't slept in so long Wait!
BOB is gone I can't feel hih Maybe I'm crazy and I made him up No, fuck that I'ination he's real I know he's real I do I couldn't and wouldn't create so to truly becoirl, s because they are always there, h I expect no surprises Can't you see you're killing me, BOB? Is that the point?
I o when I could hardly rehts I came home, cried a lot, and hid behind the bathroom door, ashamed I remember what you said to me, you shi+t! I re, several ti trouble because I had bled You told s You toldyou chose to allow reith you always there, showing me evidence of my evil blood and nature You were that voice you son of a bitch
Leo needs to see oes smoothly, painlessly, and silently I told Leo that if Bobby shows up, I need to hear froot to find another dealer just for tonight I got the last of the pure, except for Leo's personal stash, and that's just what the name says Personal If I didn't have so much shi+t on ht, but I do I have to have it It's all I have right now, man My friend, the white line, who I ahway or see a snowstor like a tease inside et more We have to After the past few days without sleep this fuckin' BOB deal I just can't go to sleep Too dangerous
AND WHAT, LAURA PALMER, IT'S BEEN TWO, THREE DAYS SINCE YOU FIRST SNORTED YOU ARE A MESSED-UP bitch STILL HERE
fuck you, BOB So I am what you always toldpeople to pay for drugs You win You fed me pain when I had none, and when I did have pain, you said it was my own fault I think you are theman ever to step foot in ht What in the fuck do you want! You cheat by never ever having to argue with soht you Conquer someone like that, then I'll aduments
Laura Palmer believes you are a cheat
L
June 24, 1987 Dear Diary, It is very late at night and I do not care to check in or to alert someone of where I am or even if I am safe I don't care to think about it I don't want to know any more about myself, from anyone too many lies have enteredIt would be years later that I would notice Begin to feel the weakness Fall into the world of drugs The world of sex for show and power For strength I thought I wanted, I went to the wrong people
The part ofis right or wrong has been taken away A decision lasts only a moment forI was capable of choosing right over wrong I should have learned ages ago how to remember you Perhaps I could have saved myself some very sad moments very bad drea my better self The one elcomed you in The one to whoot what you needed
I can't have good things, not now I don't know the road to responsibility, the way I used to So simple to just walk down
I have sent Troy away Set him free with several lashes to the ass (afor soone I don't deserve hiins and ends each day in a small square box A reminder, if you will, that he is not free, but owned
I let the pony go One of the last things I had hoped for before recalling all of your shi+t It doesn't matter anyway
I hope Troy understood why II touch runs the risk of contact with BOB I'll be investigating death don't worry I can feel you deciding how and when You bastard
Laura November 12, 1987 Dear Diary, I hope God reads this: I could use the help
It is definitely the end ofgone! Leo and Bobby caet me at the stables because I could hardly walk another step Bobby said he had called ho me out to a surprise dinner we'd be back late
That eet and very considerate of him, I must admit But like I told Leo and Bobby froain a thank-you to Bobby for borrowing so for me to wear of Donna's-who tells Bobby she is worried about me) I'll admit surprises here, not that I doubt Donna's loyalty or her friendshi+p, but I believe now too ood reason not to leave any one place, all night long I said I was concerned enough that, if we all agreed, we could turn back and forget the coke until tohed atcute, so a string at my back, unnecessary ”I don't think this is very safe”
We drove out past Mill Town and deeper into Lon I've never seen a night so dark No moon anywhere in the sky This even worried Leo, who I' I need right now is either a substance or the cash hich to buy a substance My little white friend Another lie, but at least I looked this one right in the face and said I'd believe it anyway Te friends, fa peek at how close I aer safety in numbers I can promise you that
We drove up to a sn of any kind, but assuht road, as it was the only one around fordoard the house Leo egged hiet his attention, too, but he was honestly in another world His face was soht Zone
Thedown the road, complete darkness ahead of us that somewhere shadowed a house One I hoped was filled to an obscene level with cocaine and a quick drink if I ht
Leo looked atto be down here, under these conditions, not knowing anyone, and padded up with cash totaling in the thousands I just slid back intohow ridiculous it was of e clothes I'm only dressed for trouble when it comes to Lon in an hour of darkness still not explained in news reports or radio stations They're not even saying there is a power failure
I said, ”I wonder, how long would it take the police to get down here after a call?”
Bobby reached into his jacket and produced his father's pistol It gleahtly and I told hi that around with him I was now sure that it was not a stout instinct to turn around and drive like fuck-all until ere close to home
The car did not turn, nor did it slow The road showed no signs of life, no house up ahead, not a fucking soul around well, perhaps a soul or two which was even etahile we still had the chance to leave together
Out of nowhere, it seemed, Bobby slammed on the brakes The truck spun in two full circles and dust shot up and began to glow in the light frohts Finally we stopped We were all in a bit of shock ”I thought I saw someone” Bobby said ”I didn't want to run hiot out and rabbed ht, I don't believe I' a blackout no one will even ads, cocaine to be specific, and neither of the two strong and burly led! I thought that was it I'd bought the Goddarip loosened, my vision blurred and I passed out cold I woke up in this drug dealer's house with a headache that thought it was an aneursm Bobby and Leo came into the room, and Bobby obediently took a seat next to me and acted worried about my head, and his concern reminded me of just how it had happened And I said (a fair aht idea was it to strangle me until I passed out cold?
No one responded
”Then I guess this would be the way you guys meet chicks here in Lon?” Silence in return ”Classy”
The fattest of the four dudes pulled a gun from his shi+rt and ai a bit overboard maybe that a ”Shut up” or ”fuck off” would have been perfectly clear to ht it to ize, sweetheart Can't expect everyone wearing a dress to be a girl” He looked at un ”Nice titties”
”I know” Not that his explanation for strangling y was accepted, and quite seriously preferred, over a permanent hole inThere was a pause and no handshake
Slowly, and with great pleasure, he began to curl the edges of his mouth up up up, and ended the perforrin, the likes of which I had only seen once before I knew the deal was bogus I found myself kept alert and up-to-date on the etiquette of silence by the four pistols that found quite important parts of my face on which to rest their barrels
ColdCall me crazy, but weapons often cause e quantities of fresh air ASAP
I told theuns would go off and et air, which was e that took place in ood h speed
I was suddenly aware of persons in htmares all around the house One of the soldiers came up to myand I was all huddled up because it was chilly and I was frightened
With one of the straightest faces I had ever seen, he asked, ”You ever think about dying?”
”Not in a situation like this one No, sir”
He looked at me like I had just made his promotion arrive a few days earlier than scheduled, and he said, ”You must want to step outside the vehicle, please, ?”
”There's been a fair aht maybe you'd like to show o on with business par the nor to shatter into little pieces of bone, I was so scared ”Everything okay?”
”On un, yes, it is”