Part 12 (2/2)

Cooper started to walk away.

Wait, said Mr. Goldstein in his thin voice. Come back. I want to talk to you.

Cooper turned around and looked at the old man. He was beckoning to her with one thin finger. Come inside, he said.

Cooper did as he asked, not really because she wanted to but because she was so surprised that Mr.

Goldstein had spoken so many words at once. He was generally so quiet, and she was curious to see what had made him call afer her.

Mr. Goldstein shut the door and began walking down the hallway, motioning for Cooper to follow him.

He walked into the living room, where he slowly lowered himself into the big armchair that Cooper usually saw him in. Generally he was staring at the TV or halfheartedly reading a book or a magazine, but now his eyes were alert and clear as he motioned for Cooper to sit down in the rooms other chair.

She sat and waited for him to speak. He continued to look at her quizzically for a few minutes, and Cooper almost thought that perhaps hed fallen asleep with his eyes open. But then he blinked, startling her, and spoke.

I dreamed of you again, he said simply.

Cooper waited for more, but nothing came. She cleared her throat. You mean the dream about being in” She couldnt finish the sentence. She didnt want to upset Janes grandfather by talking about what surely must be a horrible memory.

In the camp, Mr. Goldstein said, nodding. Yes.

Cooper nodded while Mr. Goldstein took a deep breath. My granddaughter does not like me to talk about the camp, he said. She thinks it makes me sad. He paused thoughtfully. And it does. But it also makes me happy.

Happy? Cooper repeated, not sure she had heard correctly. Mr. Goldsteins voice was very soft, and it was easy to miss what he said unless she was paying close attention.

Yes, he said. It makes me happy. Perhaps that is not quite the right word. Im old. I dont remember things all the time. But you know what I mean.

No, Cooper said. Actually, I dont know.

Mr. Goldstein sighed. Those who were not there cannot really understand, he said. There was horror in the camps. There was much horror. What was done to people broke my heart. Seeing my friends and family murdered”that was enough to make me doubt the existence of G.o.d.

The old man looked down for a moment, as if remembering a particularly difficult memory. Then he looked up at Cooper. But there was much love there, too. The love of fathers for sons, and sisters for *

brothers. The love of friends for friends and husbands for wives. Even in the middle of h.e.l.l, we still loved one another. Even when they tore us from one anothers arms, they could not take away the love we had for one another in our hearts. And thats how some of us survived.

Cooper sat silently, listening. She didnt know what had made Mr. Goldstein want to tell her the things he was saying, but she figured he had a reason. For the moment all she could do was sit and listen to him talk.

In my dream, he said, you came to me in the camp. Your face was dirty. Your clothes were torn.

You were thin, and frightened.

Cooper felt a peculiar chill begin to wrapits arms around her. As Mr. Goldstein spoke she pictured in her mind the things he was speaking of. She saw herself wearing an old tattered dress, too thin to keep out the cold, and shoes that were too small for her feet. She wondered how she could have such a vivid memory of something that had never actually happened to her, but she did. It was almost as if she were watching a movie of something that had happened before she was old enough to really remember it.

You see it, Mr. Goldstein said. You remember. You came to me, and you asked me to help you find a way out.

Cooper looked at the old man and saw that tears had started to fall from his eyes. But I couldnt help you, he said. I couldnt remember the way out. And they came and took you.

The soldiers, Cooper whispered.

Mr. Goldstein nodded. Then he leaned forward and grabbed her hands. I could not help you then, he said. But I can now. Look for the love. It is the way out. It will save you.

Cooper looked into his eyes. For a moment she thought she saw herself reflected in them”herself with shorn hair and a dirty face. But then the image was gone, and she was looking at Mr. Goldsteins wrinkled face while he repeated over and over, Look for the love, little one. Look for the love.

He sounds like an owl, Cooper thought suddenly. Repeating the same thing over and over. The idea struck her as odd. Then she remembered”the owl. Once before she had looked at Mr. Goldstein and thought that he looked like an owl. And she had wondered if maybe, like Bird in her vision quest, he had been sent to give her a clue of some kind. Now, as she sat holding his hands and listening to him whispering to her, she knew that was true. She looked down and saw that where the sleeve of his sweater had pulled back, the faded tattoo on his arm was showing. She ran her finger over it lightly. He had given her something she could use. He had given her hope. Yes, maybe things were falling apart around her. But that didnt mean everything was hopeless. She still had love to cling to”her love for her mother and father, her love for her friends, and her love for T.J. Even if the relations.h.i.+ps between them were strained, she still had her love for them. That was what would keep her going.

Thank you, she said to Mr. Goldstein.

Im sorry I could not help you in my dream, he said. But perhaps I have now, eh?

Yes, Cooper said. Yes, you have.

Then it is good, said the old man.

Its more than good, said Cooper, giving his hands a final squeeze and then letting go. She stood up.

Tell Jane Ill call her later, she said. Theres something I have to go do.

Mr. Goldstein waved her out of the room kindly. You know the way out, he said.

Cooper left the house and got into the car. She pulled away and drove into the darkness. But this time she knew exactly where she was going”home. She had some things to say to her parents. And then, she thought, then I might just call T.J.

CHAPTER 12.

Becka and Annie raced up the stairs and into Annies room, shutting the door behind them. Becka dropped her bag on the floor and looked around.

Very cool, she said. I love it. You have privacy and your own bathroom.

I know, Annie said. Its pretty much perfect.

Becka was walking around the room looking at everything. She stopped in front of the big painting that hung on the wall opposite Annies bed. Did your mom do this? she asked.

Annie nodded. Thats her holding me.

I love the way the moon looks like it has a face, said Becka.

She sees it, Annie thought happily to herself. Not everyone who looked at the painting noticed that it had the features of a womans face. The G.o.ddess, as Annie liked to think of her. She liked that Becka had seen it right away.

Becka turned around. This feels a little weird, she said. I mean, I live in your old house in San Francisco and now Im visiting your new house here. I feel like I should be giving you something of mine.

Which reminds me, she added, kneeling and unzipping her bag, I brought you something. She pulled a package out of the bag and handed it to Annie.

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