Part 12 (1/2)

Not to you, Stephen, said Mrs. Rivers. But you arent the only one here.

Coopers father put down his fork. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. I knew we should have gone out, he said.

Cooper looked at her parents. She knew that things were about to turn ugly. Ever since her father had arrived at the house, her parents had been on edge with one another. It was the first time theyd spent more than an hour together, and Cooper could tell that with each pa.s.sing minute things were growing more and more tense.

She tried to ignore what was going on and think of something else, but the only other thing that came to mind was Annie and Tyler. Ever since running into them on Monday, shed been trying to figure out exactly what was going on with her friends. She hadnt been surprised to see them together, but she had been surprised to see Annie on the verge of tears. And when shed found out why Annie had been about to cry, shed been so floored that she couldnt say anything.

Annie and Tyler. Cooper almost laughed, the idea of it was so funny. Tyler was the perfect guy”the understanding and sensitive boyfriend. And Annie, Annie was the good girl who never did anything to hurt anyone. The idea of the two of them together when Tyler was supposed to be in love with Kate was so far from believable that it sounded like a science fiction story. But the fact that they really were wasnt funny.

It had taken Annie a little while to tell Cooper everything. But she had told her, while sitting in her bedroom, and afterward Cooper had been unable to say anything coherent. Shed been convinced that it was a joke. But Annies tear-stained face was no joke, and Cooper had finally done the only thing she could”shed held Annie while her friend cried over her broken heart.

Cooper felt bad for Annie. But she felt almost worse for Kate, who had no idea that her best friend and her supposed boyfriend were doing more than just going to the movies together. Cooper had agreed not to say anything to Kate and let Annie and Tyler decide what to do about it, but she still wasnt sure if that was the right decision. True, Annie and Tyler had called it off. But where did that leave things? They had still betrayed Kate, and that was bound to change things between them all, even if they never told her about it.

Why do you always have to say I told you so? Mrs. Riverss accusation cut through Coopers daydreams and brought her back to the moment.

I didnt say I told you so, said Mr. Rivers defensively.

This isnt a courtroom, Stephen, Coopers mother countered. You dont have to win every argument the way you win cases.

This isnt an argument, said Coopers father.

Dont speak to me like Im a five-year-old child, Mrs. Rivers said, glaring at him.

Are you guys going to do this for much longer? asked Cooper. Because I could really use some pumpkin pie.

Her parents looked at her in surprise.

No, really, Cooper said tiredly. If youre just going to fight I might as well just eat pie in my room, because this isnt a whole lot of fun. Unless you guys are having fun, that is.

Her mother and father looked at one another. Her mother put down her fork and cleared her throat.

Im sorry, Cooper, she said. I wanted this to be a nice time. She glared at her husband.

I wanted this to be a nice time, too, said Mr. Rivers. He began to say something else but shut his mouth. Then he looked at Cooper. Cooper, we werent going to discuss this until later, but your mother and I have decided that were going to separate permanently.

You mean divorce? Cooper said. Isnt that what separate permanently means?

No one said anything for a moment. Then her mother said, Yes, thats what it means.

Cooper looked at her plate. She couldnt look at her parents. Divorced. Her parents were getting divorced.

But its only been a couple of months since you separated, said Cooper, as if that made any difference.

We know you were hoping for a different outcome, said her mother. We were, too.

Then why did we get this one? asked Cooper.

Sometimes things cant work out the way that would make things easiest, Mr. Rivers replied.

So now that Im going to be the product of a broken home, how is it going to work? Cooper said.

You and your mother will continue to live here, said her father. Im going to be getting my own place.

Great, said Cooper. Now Ill have two places to call home. And when you guys get remarried maybe Ill have a whole bunch of wicked stepsisters and stepbrothers to hang out with.

No one is getting remarried, said Mrs. Rivers.

Why not? Cooper said. Whats the point of splitting up if not to find better options?

She knew she was being cruel, but she couldnt help herself. She was angry, and she was taking her *

frustration out on her parents because they happened to be sitting across from her. Plus, she blamed them for letting this happen. She knew that wasnt a reasonable thing to think, but she thought it nonetheless.

While the mature part of her brain knew full well that sometimes peoples lives took them in different directions, the part of her that was still six years old wanted to have her mommy and daddy back together. It was that part that had taken over control of her mouth at the moment.

Ill be up in my room, she said, pus.h.i.+ng back from the table. Let me know when the visitation schedule is all drawn up.

She stormed out of the room and up the stairs, making sure her boots made scuffs on the polished wood surfaces. Then she went into her room and slammed the door. She knew they wouldnt come after her.

Not yet. And she didnt want them to. She didnt want to hear about how they both still loved her, or about how the situation had nothing to do with her. She didnt want to hear about how this would be best for everyone, even if it was hard. Those things might be true, but they didnt make her feel better.

What is it with people? she thought angrily. Why cant they manage not to screw things up? Her parents had seemed to have a good relations.h.i.+p, but now they were telling her that it was over. Annie and Tyler were doing whatever it was they were doing. Everybody seemed determined to ruin what they had.

Are T.J. and I next? she asked herself. Why should we be any different? Why should we stay together? Whats the point?

She needed to get out of the house. She couldnt stay there just stewing and waiting for her parents to come up for a lame talk that would only make her more upset. She needed to get away from them, at least for a while.

She grabbed her keys from the dresser and left her room. Being as quiet as she could, she went downstairs and out the front door, pulling it shut behind her. Then she walked quickly to her car, got in, and drove away before her parents could come out and try to stop her.

She drove around aimlessly for a while, not really caring where she went. She just liked driving. She liked being inside her car with the blackness surrounding her, the headlights cutting through the dark like a cats eyes. She liked hearing the hum of the engine, and the way it made her feel like she was flying. She didnt even turn on the radio. She didnt want the distraction.

Driving was almost like meditating, she decided. It calmed her and made her feel both more relaxed and more powerful. As she drove she felt the anger and hurt inside of her slipping away, left behind on the road as she sped into the night.

She decided to drive to Janes house. The way she was feeling, she didnt really want to see T.J. That would only remind her of what had upset her in the first place. And she didnt want to see Annie or Kate, for the same reason. But she could talk to Jane. And she found that she wanted to talk.

She pulled up in front of the Goldstein house and parked. Turning the lights off, she got out and walked to the front door. She rang the buzzer and waited for Jane to let her in.

But when the door opened, it wasnt Janes face looking out at her. It was her grandfathers. Mr.

Goldstein blinked in the harsh glare of the porch light.

Jane isnt here, he said when he saw Cooper. Shes out.

Oh, Cooper said. It hadnt occurred to her that Jane might be doing something else, and she felt foolish for not having called first to check. Im sorry for bothering you, Mr. Goldstein. Could you please tell Jane that Ill call her later?