Part 43 (1/2)

”Ay, tak' a guid look at it,” said the beadle, ”for it's no' likely ye'll ever see't again.”

=A ”Wigging”=

The Rev. Dr. Macleod (father of the late Dr. Norman Macleod) was proceeding to open a new place of wors.h.i.+p.

As he pa.s.sed slowly and gravely through the crowd gathered about the doors, an elderly man, with the peculiar kind of a wig known in that district--bright, smooth and of a reddish brown--accosted him:

”Doctor, if you please, I wish to speak to you.”

”Well, Duncan,” said the venerable doctor, ”can ye not wait till after wors.h.i.+p?”

”No, doctor; I must speak to you now, for it is a matter upon my conscience.”

”Oh, since it is a matter of conscience, tell me what it is; but be brief, Duncan, for time presses.”

”The matter is this, doctor. Ye see the clock yonder on the face of the new church? Well, there is no clock really there--nothing but the face of the clock. There is no truth in it, but only once in the twelve hours. Now it is, in my mind, very wrong, and quite against my conscience, that there should be a lie on the face of the house of the Lord.”

”Duncan, I will consider the point. I am glad to see you looking so well. You are not young now; I remember you for many years; and what a fine head of hair you have still!”

”Eh, doctor, you are joking now; it is long since I have had my hair.”

”Oh, Duncan, Duncan, are you going into the house of the Lord with a lie upon your head?”

This settled the question, and the doctor heard no more of the lie on the face of the clock.

=A Poacher's Prayer=

Jamie Hamilton, a noted poacher at Crawfordjohn, was once asked by a woman to pray for a poor old woman who was lying at the point of death.

”I canna pray,” said he.

”But ye maun do't, Jamie,” said the woman.

”Weel, if I maun do't, I maun do't, but I haena muckle to say,” said Jamie.

Being placed beside the dying woman, the poacher, with thoughts more intent upon hares than prayers, said ”O Lord, thou kens best Thyself how the case stands between Thee and auld Eppie: but sin' ye hae baith the haft and the blade in your ain hand, just guide the gully as best suits Thy ain glory and her guid. Amen!”

Could a bishop have said more in as few words?

=Broader than He was Long=

Mr. Dale, whose portrait figures in _Kay_, was very short in stature, and also very stout.

Having mentioned to a friend one day that ”he had slipped on the ice, and fallen all his length”--

”Be thankful, sir,” was the consolatory and apt reply, ”that it was not all your breadth!”