5 Chapter 2 - Uhaw sa Tingin (1/2)

Scrolling on my twitter feeds, a very interesting headline caught my attention. I clicked the link and read the article.

Ayon daw sa isang pagaaral, on average, ang mga lalake daw, they think about sex 19 times a day. Ang mga babae naman ay sampung beses sa isang araw habang labing-limang beses naman about food.

Nakakatawang isipin na mas mahalaga pa sa mga babae ang pagkaen kaysa sa sex. Pero hindi ako kumbinsidong 15 times a day lang kung maisip ng mga babae ang pagkaen. I think about food every half an hour.

Tumingin ako sa ibang mga pasahero na kasakay ko sa jeep at napatanong ako sa isip ko - are they thinking about sex right now? Who do they have in their imaginations? What about the other virgins? How often do they think about sex? How often do we really think about something we haven't experienced yet?

I made a theory. I think, virgins think about sex at least three times - tatlong beses sa isang oras. We will never admit it, of course. Virgins hardly even realise it. We joke about it, act stupid, or naive, or pretend to be disgusted. But we long for sex, we wonder about it, and it is something we've kept on thinking - 'one day, it will happen'.

Napakamot na lang ako sa ulo ko sa mga naiisip ko. Si kuya Jared tutok na tutok lang sa nilalaro niyang game sa cellphone niya. Lucky for him, whenever he thinks about sex, he can just have it. Perks of being a badboy gwapo, I suppose. I know a lot of girls dig it, the badboy type.

Street style-sangganong gwapo ang dating ni kuya Jared. Semi-kalbo, suplado ang mukha, sa tangkad niyang 6'3, sure akong siya ang lider-lideran sa grupo niyang videogamers at mga bilyar boys. Hindi siya ma-gym, pero ewan ko kung paano at may magandang hulma naman ng mga muscles at abs ang katawan niya. Jeans at plain t-shirts lang ang klase ng mga damit niya, wala siyang tattoo pero ang dinig ko mula sa ilang mga babae na nagkakandarapa sa kanya, may kakaibang misteryo daw kasing bumabalot sa kuya Jared ko.

Kaya naman, most girls just throw themselves at him all the time, hindi na niya kailangan mangligaw pa. I know, kasi kapag tapos na siya sa babae, ako ang inuutusan niya sumagot sa mga tawag nila para sabihing tigilan na nila ang 'boyfriend ko'. May pandidiri din naman akong nadarama kapag pinapagawa sa akin ni kuya iyon. But I do it anyway, for free movies, books shopping, or an expensive food treat.

It was kuya Jared's hornyness and carelessness kaya ako namulat sa porn. Minsan niya kasing naiwan ang laptop niyang nakabukas sa isang porn site, na siya namang pinakialaman ko. I was 13 then.

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”Good morning Princess. Pasipag ka ng pasipag ah. Ang aga mo lagi pumapasok,” ang uma-umagang bati sa akin ni Happy Aguinaldo, ang masayahing security guard namin sa school.

”Yung totoo Happy, ilan talaga kaming tinatawag mong Princess ha?” kulit-lambing ko sa kanya habang papalapit ako sa guard post niya.

”Bakit ilan ba kayong mukhang prinsesa sa school na ito. Ikaw lang kaya. Woooo. Loyal ako. Alam mo yan, Princess,” sagot niya habang nakadungaw sa kaniyang bintana.

Malaking tao si Happy, kapag hindi siya nagsalita, katatakutan mo siya. Pero kapag nagumpisa na siyang kausapin ka, ngingiti ang buo niyang mukha na para bang siya ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo. He had a natural pleasant aura that was effortless and sincere.

”Bakit ba ang aga-aga mo? Sarado pa din naman ang library. Hindi ka ba nalulungkot mag-isa?” patuloy pa ni Happy. Yung boses niya parang naglalambing na tatay, magaan pero may punto.

”Hindi naman ako mag-isa. Andyan ka naman palagi, Happy, di'ba?”

”Ayyy! Ikaw talaga. Syempre no. Ikaw pa!”

Single at nasa 40s na ito si Happy, pero dahil masayahin siya, walang bahid ng tanda sa kanya. Bearish ang tindig niya, bilugan pero hindi mataba. Dati din daw kasi siyang bouncer sa mga bar. Nakakatawang isipin na sa sobrang bait at magalang niya, lahat siguro pinapapasok niya noon sa bar. Hindi ko rin maimagine that he could control a possible bar fight, para kasing gugustohin mo na lang siyang akapin, kilitiin at gawing friend. Kudos talaga sa mga magulang niya at tamang pinangalanan siya ng 'Happy'.

For a few weeks now since the class started, mas maaga na ako pumapasok para prepared ako sa first subject ko. Mahirap pigilan ang tawag ng laman kapag kaharap ko na si Teacher Kim. Ilang beses na ako nauutal o natataranta kapag kailangan ko magsalita sa harap niya. I now need to mentally prepare myself na hanggang pagnanasa lang talaga ako sa kanya, hindi ko siya matitikman in real life.

Habang paakyat ako papunta sa classroom ko, nakasalubong ko si Yoona Eloy at Mitty Castro pababa ng hagdan. Mga Grade 12 students na sila at sikat din silang mahuhusay na miyembro ng Dance Troupe, at well, sikat sila dahil na din di naman maikakaila ang angking ganda nila at ng mapang-akit na hubog ng kanilang katawan.

Binati nila ako ng isang matipid na ”Hey” at isang ordinaryong ngiti na siyang ibinalik ko din sa kanila. Hindi man ako kasing sikat nila, pero madalas ako ang pambato sa mga Math or Science competitions ng school. So, pinapansin naman nila ako kapag nakakasalubong ko sila.

Habang patuloy lang ako sa pagakyat sa hagdan, napaisip naman ako kung ano ang ginawa nilang dalawa sa taas ng pagkaaga-aga. Pero naalala ko ang sabi ni Mrs. Reklamor, ang class advisor ko last year, na madalas na nga daw ang puyatan pagdating sa Grade 12. Napaisip tuloy ako kung dito na ba sa school natulog sina Yoona at Mitty.

Tumigil ang mundo ko nang makarating ako sa classroom. Dahil medyo lutang pa ako sa aga ng gising ko, binuksan ko ang secondary lights at dire-diretso lang ako tumungo sa upuan ko. Hindi ko namalayang may ibang tao pala sa loob ng room.

”Teacher Kim!!” gulat ko. Napatayo agad ako mula sa isang segundong pagkaupo ko. Para akong biglang nalagutan ng hininga.

”Cece,” agad niyang tugon.

May kakaibang impact talaga sa akin kapag binabanggit niya ang pangalan ko, naninikip ang bukana ko. Zeze. It sounded like a deep whisper; heart-stopping, intoxicating, hot and dirty. He was standing at a corner, by the window, and damn! He was breathtakingly gorgeous.

”Isn't it too early to be in school yet?” tanong niya while hastily tucking-in his shirt. Batid kong nagulat din siya sa biglang pagdating ko.

Basa na naman ang labi niya. I felt a fire blazed inside me nang mapatingin ako sa nakabukas na unang tatlong butones ng damit niya. I would lick those collar bones all day.

The naked hint of his firm, barrel chest consumed my dirty, curious mind. My throat dried up. Ang natural na lamig ng madaling araw ay napalitan ng nakakalibog na init sa katawan. Isn't it too early for him to be in class yet?

But I had to try to keep my cool. ”My brother drops me off everyday po sir, sa college campus po siya and his first class starts a bit earlier than mine. Just neccessary adjustments.”

”I see,” he replied. He seemed a bit rattled tho.

We were alone in the classroom's early morning darkness. The sun hasn't completely risen yet. It was quiet around, but I could hear him breathing.

Such torture.

He bit his lips, wet it again a little more than he should have, and then he combed his wavy hair with his long and thick fingers and walked towards his table. He was scorching hot. His hair is usually fixed and cleanly set, but this time, it was unruly, bare and sexy. I wished I was those fingers. And those fingers, they looked... delicious.

”I'm sorry, I was.. uh, preparing lesson plans. Since ditoh din naman first class koh, I opted to just do this here,” paliwanag niya as he sat in his chair. I didn't even asked. It was off-timing. The thought that he thinks he owed me that explanation made me want to slap him and make him fuck me really hard.

”Wait na lang po muna ako sa lobby sir,” nahihiya kong sambit. Hinawi ko ang buhok ko at inipit sa aking tenga, picked up my bag and opted for the door. Since that first day in class, napansin kong may bago akong mannerism. I often, unknowingly and awkwardly, comb or swirl or tuck my hair when I am in the presence of Teacher Kim.

”No. No, stay. Stay Cece. You don't have to leave.. Stay,” pagpigil niya sa akin. It was commanding, without modesty, just straight-out orders. His voice was dark, cold, and teasing?

”Sit and do as what you originaly plan to do. I don't want you to go,” he continued.

I. Don't. Want. You. To. Go.

It was obvious in his expression that he regretted saying those last six words. I noticed, he snapped at himself silently, clenched his fist, making the air in the room even more awkward. He was delicious.

I sat as I was ordered. It was quite erotic, the thought of him bossing me around. Nagumpisang pumintig-pintig ang hiwa kong nakatago sa gitna ng aking nakadekwatrong mga hita. I was wearing my favorite super thin, lacy, candy red lingerie. It snapped a picture in my head.

If only Teacher Kim could see it.

Pero hindi na muli siyang tumingin sa akin. Simula noong unang araw ng klase, that very stupid first day, batid kong may pagka-aloof si Teacher Kim sa akin compared sa iba kong classmates.

I would often try to catch his gaze pero masyadong mailap. Which, for the good part, helped me to bring myself back to that old me. Ayoko mabuo ang pagdududa sa akin ng mga matagal ng nakakakilala sa akin. I had to keep being Cece, innocent and appropriate; hindi pumapatol o nakikisalo sa mga naughty banters ng iba kong mga kaklase.

It wasn't as if I was having a crush on Teacher Kim tulad ng ibang kinikilig sa kanya. I don't blush because he's pretty, or feel the butterflies when he smiles. I lusted him. I lust him very very much.

Seconds passed and minutes felt like a century. It was excruciatingly quiet in the room. I was trying to review my notes pero hindi ako maka-concentrate. I could hear the flipping of the pages in his workbook and it would put me in a lot of tensions, particularly in my aching pussy.

Maya-maya pa'y may mga paminsang ingay na akong naririnig mula sa labas, sign na unti-unti nang nagbubukas ang buong school. The room's darkness slowly faded into light, nagumpisa nang lumiwanag ang umaga. But the air remained empty, smokey and misty.

Kapag nagkakaroon ako ng lakas ng loob, nagnanakaw ako ng tingin sa kanya. He looked sexually inviting in his fitted, buttoned down long sleeves na nakatupi ang sleeves hanggang siko. I drooled at his naked forearms, they were a bit hairy but neat and sexy. His hands were massive and his fingers were thick. His large biceps would flex whenever he makes a movement, either pulling something, picking up his stuff, or just as he writes in his notes.