Vol 7 Chapter 4.2 (2/2)
He could feel his palm hitting flesh again and again.
”You b.a.s.t.a.r.d, who do you think you are? We've come this far, and now you think you can run away? Put yourself out of your misery? f.u.c.king bulls.h.i.+t!”
s.h.i.+on whimpered softly.
”You traitor,” Nezumi snarled. ”Are you saying that you can't be forgiven for killing someone else, but you can be forgiven for killing yourself? You know that if you go on and commit suicide, you'll be murdering two people. Why don't you get it?” His last words came out like a pained plea.
Tsukiyo leapt up onto his shoulder and screeched loudly and insistently. He looked like he was trying to get between them.
s.h.i.+on didn't resist at all. He looked like he wasn't even breathing. His eyes were open, but they were sightless. The edge of his mouth was cut and bleeding, and dried blood was caked on his lips.
He's totalled ― wounded all over.
Would it have been better if they had not come? Nezumi knew more than enough that once they infiltrated the Correctional Facility, it would be a battlefield. He knew, and he had still dragged s.h.i.+on in. The rescue of the girl, Safu, was only an excuse for Nezumi. He wanted s.h.i.+on's power. He wanted the boy's power to perfectly memorize the innards of the Facility, and to give precise orders. He wanted to borrow―no, take advantage of― s.h.i.+on's power to destroy the Correctional Facility, and put a crack in No. 6's core. s.h.i.+on was a good weapon to serve this purpose, and this was a happenstance more lucky than anything Nezumi could ask for.
Yeah, I used s.h.i.+on.
But if the results of it had been this ― this ― then, it was better if they had not come. We should never have set foot in here.
He had, of course, been prepared for a brutal struggle. He had recognized that they were waging a reckless war with less than a one-percent chance of winning, and yet he had had the resolve that they would emerge as victors; he had both the eager heart and the restraint of reason, and he had been so certain that he had it all.
And that it was we ― not No. 6 ― who controlled the state of things.
There was no battle without preparation. There was no victory without solid certainty.
There should have been nothing wrong with what he thought. He was certain he had not gone astray.
Nezumi gritted his teeth. He felt like he would almost succ.u.mb and kneel to the reality that stood before him. I never imagined that it would turn out like this.
We shouldn't have come. We were not supposed to come here. I shouldn't have dragged s.h.i.+on into my battle.
It had finally dawned on him. But it was too late.
”s.h.i.+on.” I'm the one who should be asking whether I'll be forgiven. I should be the one begging for forgiveness, not you.
”Shoulder it,” he whispered. The words tore through his gritted teeth and spilled from his lips. s.h.i.+on's eyes moved slowly. They narrowed slightly, as if attempting to focus on Nezumi.
”Shoulder it― shoulder it, and live on.” They were words for himself, not s.h.i.+on.
Bear your sin, and live.
s.h.i.+on, I'm sorry. I made you bear the burden, one so big it's making your spine creak. Would I be forgiven one day? Would you forgive me for what I did to you?
s.h.i.+on let out a long breath.
An arm reached out, and a set of fingertips touched Nezumi's cheek.
”It's my first time... seeing you cry.”
”Huh?”
Cry? Who?
”It's alright, Nezumi... don't cry. I get it. I'll do as you say. So just don't cry, please.”
”Idiot,” Nezumi said hoa.r.s.ely. Really, how idiotic can you get? Still caring for others in a situation like this. What's 'alright'? Nothing's alright. Besides, I'm not crying. I'm not like you, I don't just let my tears fall wherever and whenever I want, without hesitation―
He had reached his limit. He couldn't hold it in any longer. A wave of tears overcame him, and they streamed from his eyes. The droplets were startlingly hot. They rolled down his cheeks, dripped from the point of his chin, and landed on top of s.h.i.+on.
d.a.m.nit, why are these tears―d.a.m.nit.
He let his body sink on top of s.h.i.+on's as his sobs spilled out.
d.a.m.nit. b.a.s.t.a.r.d. b.a.s.t.a.r.d.
”s.h.i.+on.”
”Mm...”
”I don't know how to stop my tears.”
”Mm-hmm,” s.h.i.+on murmured.
”I really... don't know. If this keeps going it's gonna be... bad.”
”Yeah?” s.h.i.+on said softly.
”It would be. Think about it: if Inukas.h.i.+ saw me like this... he'd make a fool out of me for the rest of my life.”
”―That's for sure.” A hand slid around his back, and patted him.
”Nezumi, let's go.”
Yes. They would have to go. This wasn't the finish line yet. They had to move forward. But, how? Was there a way to escape this sealed s.p.a.ce?
”Oh!” Nezumi scrambled up. A startled Tsukiyo dove into s.h.i.+on's s.h.i.+rt. ”Why is that?”
”Why is what?”
”Why isn't anything happening? Weren't they supposed to run an electric current as soon as the barriers were down?”
”That's right.” s.h.i.+on also got up. He winced in pain, likely from some wound. But his face soon smoothed into a faint smile.
”It's been almost five minutes since the walls came down completely. That's kind of a late observation for you, isn't it?”
”The h.e.l.l is that supposed to mean?” Nezumi replied indignantly. Then, he closed his mouth. He glanced at s.h.i.+on's face, which was smeared with blood.
”Are you saying you knew, then? You knew beforehand that nothing would happen?”
s.h.i.+on shook his head.
”I didn't know. There was no way I would have known. It's just that―”
”Just that, what? We've come this far. Don't play hard-to-get.”
”Right. Well, you might laugh, but I feel like we're being... invited in by someone.”
”Invited in?”
s.h.i.+on licked his lips, and continued in his s.h.i.+on-like, awkward manner.
”Actually, the barriers should have activated the moment we burst into the hallway. But they didn't move. They only started moving when we were surrounded by the soldiers. Even though at that time, they would have been temporarily paused. That doesn't make sense. That's why they were so fl.u.s.tered.”
”Wait a minute, I dunno what you're getting at. So are you saying that the computer monitoring the security system was buggy? That it conveniently stopped working for us? ―Well, I dunno whether I'd call being trapped in here convenient. But we were saved. We were rescued by a coincidental computer malfunction― is that the deal?”
A No. 6 computer malfunctioning? No, there was no way something like that would happen.
s.h.i.+on shook his head again.
”It's not a coincidence. It was by will.”
”Will? You're saying the computer had a will of its own?”
A third refusal.
”No. It could be operated a certain way based on one's will, but the machine itself wouldn't have one.”
”s.h.i.+on, explain it to me so that I can understand. What're you talking about? What do you mean by being 'invited in'?”
”I don't know,” s.h.i.+on said slowly. ”I can't put it into words very well. But that's the only way I can explain it. Someone is calling us―”
”And that someone operated the computer and rescued us of their own will. That's what you figure?”
”Yeah.”
”And who's that someone? That girlfriend of yours?”
”Safu―could it be her? But...” s.h.i.+on dragged his feet to the wall. There was a part that was a different colour than the rest. It was a shade lighter.
”That's the elevator, right?”
”Yeah. The only path that leads to the top floor.”
Thirty metres to the right. s.h.i.+on had meant to tell him to run in this direction. There were no b.u.t.tons to be found on the wall that would operate it. There wasn't even a single projecting part. It probably activated by a sensor responding to a special ID chip.
”How do we get into this thing?”
s.h.i.+on had turned his face back to stare at something. Nezumi followed his gaze, and landed on Ras.h.i.+'s body.
”He might have a special chip embedded in his body,” Nezumi said hastily. He put into words what he figured had been on s.h.i.+on's mind. He didn't want to let s.h.i.+on utter any words related to that body. s.h.i.+on glanced away, and held his palm up to the sky.
”No― that won't do. This system will activate only if it senses life. The chip is useless unless it's inside a living, breathing human body. A corpse won't do.”
I see. Nezumi muttered silently, and cast his eyes down.
The madness that had driven s.h.i.+on to nearly shatter his own skull had already been wiped clean.
It has to sense life.
A corpse won't do.
How could he say those words so casually after such an intense emotional disturbance?
Nezumi s.h.i.+fted his eyes to his feet. Maybe I haven't just made him shoulder it. Maybe I've also hauled it out―hauled out what was dormant in him until now.
s.h.i.+on, what's lurking inside you? What do you really look like, s.h.i.+on, the you that I don't know?
A chill ran down his spine. The wounds on his shoulder and thigh throbbed as if in answer. Until now, he had completely forgotten about his gunshot wounds.
”Is there any other way?” he asked, short and to the point.
”I think someone will come fetch us,” came the equally short answer.
”Fetch us?”
He heard a faint mechanical noise. The elevator was coming down. The door slid open almost soundlessly.
Two shadowy figures stood before them.
Nezumi tensed for a moment, then realized quickly that it was a reflection of themselves. The entire wall in front of them was a huge mirror.
”Nezumi―you're getting on, right?”
”You kidding me? Of course. I'm not stupid or rude enough to turn down such a welcoming.”
”Yeah. I figured.”
He took one wide step into the elevator. Throb. His wounds stirred again. He would probably not be able to push himself much further, considering the amount of blood he had lost. And, as Ras.h.i.+ had pointed out, he could no longer use a knife with this hand.
No use mulling it over, though.
He could not predict what lay ahead of them after the elevator stopped. He couldn't foresee the future, so there was only one choice―to face the here and now.
He let his gaze wander. There was nothing of note apart from the mirror. The walls were smooth with not a speck of dirt to be seen. There were no b.u.t.tons, switches, or touch screens. It was a sterile, bright, inorganic s.p.a.ce.
The door was closing.
Right in front of them, he could see Ras.h.i.+ with his legs thrown out and his head tilted to the side. He could see the soles of the soldier's boots, the soldier who had called his mother in his last moments.
s.h.i.+on's fingers moved to chest-level.
Are they going to clasp together in prayer? Nezumi thought.
But s.h.i.+on's fingers only clenched into a hard fist.
That was it.
The door closed.
Read Chapter 5.
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