Vol 7 Chapter 5.1 (1/2)
CHAPTER 5
A deep, inexpressible joy filled her heart, a treacherous joy that she sought to hide at any cost, one of those things of which one is ashamed, although cheris.h.i.+ng it in one's soul . . .
”Is Daddy home yet?” Lili sighed. ”Did Mommy get to see Daddy? Did she get to say 'welcome back' to him? It's getting so dark. I wonder what happened? Yuna's daddy and Ei's daddy are already home. They always come home on the same bus. You know, sometimes me and Yuna and Ei go and meet them there.”
”I see. And Daddy's very happy, isn't he?”
”Yeah. Really. He picks me up, and kisses me on the cheek. But it's kind of embarra.s.sing. I don't need to get a kiss from Daddy to be happy. I'm not a little girl, you know. But Daddy still thinks I'm a little girl. That's why he kisses me in front of all those people. It's kind of a problem.”
Karan smiled at Lili's endearing attempt at sounding like an adult. Lili sighed again. She cupped her chin in her hands, and let out a long huff. It was an adult woman's gesture―was she imitating her mother, perhaps? Usually, Karan would burst out laughing and tease Lili, calling her a right young little lady, but today she couldn't quite bring herself to. Her heart felt heavy, as if Lili had transmitted her melancholy to her. Smiling was the best she could do.
”Ma'am.”
”Yes, dear?”
”Daddy'll come home, right?”
”Of course.”
Karan stopped in the middle of wiping a tray, and glanced at Lili. Lili's favourite cheese m.u.f.fin lay half-eaten on her little plate.
”Getsuyaku-san―your father―is probably very busy at work. I bet he missed his usual bus. I'm sure he'll come home on the next one.”
Karan gave a little sigh as well after finis.h.i.+ng her sentence. These words wouldn't even serve to make Lili feel better. Lili didn't want to hear these ba.n.a.l words of encouragement.
She felt frustrated and ashamed that she could not even relieve a little girl's woes.
Lili's eyes, always so lively and full of joy, were now clouded over.
Her father, who usually came home every day at the same time on the minute, had not come home. She was worried sick.
Karan couldn't bring herself to laugh it off as an exaggerated concern. Lili had sensed something wrong with Getsuyaku, and it was paining her heart. Renka―Lili's mother and Getsuyaku's wife―had even gone to the bus stop to pick him up despite her difficulty moving around. There must have been something about Getsuyaku that caused his wife and daughter to feel uncertain and unsettled. It was not only Getsuyaku, either.
This uncertainty―an intangible uncertainty―had by now covered all of this city of No. 6.
One could call it a looming threat.
Several dozen citizens had already suffered at the hands of death―been sacrificed. Karan wasn't sure if ”sacrifice” was the appropriate term, but she thought the eeriness and terror that the word invoked matched perfectly well with the city's atmosphere; of that, she was most certain. Karan herself was troubled, apart from her thoughts about s.h.i.+on, with an uncertainty that dug into her heart.
Is this really happening?
People are dying left and right.
Without warning, they would collapse and cease to breathe. Karan had yet to see it for herself, but she had heard that the victims all lost their hair and teeth, were covered in wrinkles, and died looking a hundred years older. She had heard that even the most vibrant young man or beautiful girl ended up in this grisly form. Without exception.
Why? What's the cause?
A new virus? Poison gas? A plague?
Speculation was rampant, and yet, not one person could give a definite cause. No one could spot a common trait among all of the victims. Their ages, body types, environments, workplaces and development histories ranged widely, and barely overlapped.
Apart from the fact that they were exclusively No. 6 citizens.
One collapsed in the square in front of City Hall; one in the street; one in his own kitchen. In all cases, the victims were alone. There were no concentrated outbreaks of casualties in one spot. They all occurred in pinpoint locations. Many were safe who had seen the victims die right beside them. Any acquaintance in mid-conversation, any friend walking beside you, any stranger walking past you, could become a casualty. Shrieks and wailing voices burst into the air everywhere.
No one could predict who the next casualty was, or when and where it would occur. That was fear itself. An insurmountable fear.
My sister collapsed just now. She wasn't even thirty. Now she's transformed into an elderly woman.
My neighbour just died. We were just having a normal conversation. 'What's gonna happen now?' 'This is scary, isn't it?', just stuff like that. Then she suddenly started to double up in pain―
What's going on here?
This is a concern for everyone now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be next... no, maybe even in a minute...
I might be the next sacrifice.
What the h.e.l.l is the mayor doing? Why doesn't he try to deal with this?
Isn't he going to help us citizens?
Fear became discontent toward the politicians who twiddled their thumbs in the face of the situation. Discontent became criticism, which turned into a simmering rage.
The mayor, through various media organizations, called for calm amongst the citizens, and advised them to take careful action. But even as the mayor's image flashed across the display, another casualty fell right in front of it, another among the dozens today. He would convulse again and again, then age rapidly. It was impossible to remain calm.
Give us medicine.
Tend to the wounded.
Give us the truth.
The cries of the citizens echoed loudly in every corner of the streets. And on top of this situation, Lili's father had not arrived home. Her mother had gone out, and not returned.
The girl's tiny chest was probably full to bursting with uncertainty. Perhaps she was desperately trying to keep herself from crying.
Karan understood well the suffering and pain of being concerned but unable to do anything about a family member. She had experienced the frustration of only being able to wait. It was a pain that had soaked deep into her bones.
”Lili.” She stroked the girl's soft hair. ”Have the rest of your m.u.f.fin.”
”Ma'am...”
”You love your father, right, Lili?”
Lili looked up at Karan, and gave a huge nod.
”Yup. I looove him. I love Daddy lots and lots. I love Mommy, and the baby in Mommy's stomach, too.”
”Yes, and your father loves you too, very very much, right? He kisses you on the cheek, and he says 'I love you, Lili' while he does, right?”
”Yeah. Daddy always says 'I love you' to me.”
”Then everything will be fine. Your father will come straight home to you, Lili. You know, in the end, people come home to the people they love most.”
Lili blinked. ”Is that true, ma'am?”
”Yes. It's true. True as can be.”
Lili's mouth relaxed. A smile spread across her face. She picked her m.u.f.fin up, and took a bite.
”It's delicious.”
”There are still more left. Three, to be exact. One for your mother, your father, and for you, Lili. You can take them home, if you like.”
”Thank you, ma'am.”
After finis.h.i.+ng her m.u.f.fin, Lili put her hands together and gave a loud thanks for her meal.
”Ma'am.”
”Yes, dear?”
”I love you, too.”
”My, Lili, that's wonderful. Thank you.”
”And s.h.i.+on too... but not as much as Daddy, or Mommy, or you, ma'am.”
”Hm?”
”s.h.i.+on will come home too, right?”
”Lili...”
”People come home to people they love the best, right? So s.h.i.+on has to come home to your place, ma'am. Right? He'll come home, right?”
Lili seated herself deep in her chair, and dangled her feet over the edge.
”When I got hurt once, s.h.i.+on made it all better.”
”Oh? He did?”
”Yeah. I was playing tag with Ei, and I fell down. I fell, and then Ei came and fell down on top of me, like ― cras.h.!.+ ― and it really hurt. Ei''s kind of fat. But she's really fast at running, you know. And she's good at drawing pictures. I like drawing pictures, too. We draw pictures together a lot.”
”You're good friends, then?”
”Yeah. Really good friends. But we fight sometimes, too. Sometimes we have fights that are so big, I think we're never gonna play again for the rest of our lives.”
”But if you can fight and make up again, that means you're truly good friends. So you fell down, right, Lili? And s.h.i.+on made it better?”
”Yeah. My leg was bleeding really bad. And it hurt a lot. I cried lots, and Ei was crying, too. But then s.h.i.+on pa.s.sed by, and he picked me up and took me to a tap and washed off the blood, and... oh, and then he put some medicine on it. He said, 'it's stopped bleeding, so you can stop crying now.' And then he patted my head. He wiped Ei's face for her, too.”
”And... when was this?”
Lili stopped swinging her feet, tilted her head a little, and looked at Karan.
”Lemme see, ummm... a little before s.h.i.+on went away. When he was still going to work at the park. You know, ma'am, s.h.i.+on is really nice. Mommy said so, too. She said he's really kind, and handsome, and such a great person. She said, 'When s.h.i.+on comes home, you should ask if you could be his bride'.”
”Oh, Lili, you as s.h.i.+on's bride? That's some happy news.”
”But it's just that, well, Ei...”
”What about Ei?”
”Umm, she says she's in 'love at first sight' for s.h.i.+on. I asked her, 'What's love at first sight mean?' and Ei said, 'It means you get married, of course'. But if Ei and s.h.i.+on get married, then I can't be his bride. Mommy said I can't lose to Ei, but it's really hard.”
”Oh, my.” Karan laughed out loud. For even just a moment, she was able to forget the uncertainty and melancholy forming a malignant lump in her heart.
As far as Karan could remember, Lili had not mentioned s.h.i.+on's name at all since the day he had vanished from Karan's sight. Lili had probably sensed that reflecting on memories of s.h.i.+on would cause suffering for Karan. Or perhaps she had been warned by Renka.
'Lili, from now on, I don't want you to talk about s.h.i.+on in front of Karan.'
'Why not?'
'Because she'll be sad.'
'Mommy, did s.h.i.+on do something really bad? Is that why he got caught and taken away? Everyone says so.'
'What do you think?'
'Me? I think... s.h.i.+on wouldn't do anything bad. He's so nice. He would never do anything like that. Ever.'
'And you're right. See, you do know. I'm impressed with you, Lili. Whatever happened must have been some kind of mistake. s.h.i.+on is such a wonderful boy. You wouldn't find anyone nicer. He's kind, handsome, and just such a great person. I know, Lili, when s.h.i.+on comes back, why don't you ask if you can be his bride? Don't lose against Ei.'
Perhaps mother and daughter had had that kind of conversation, and grinned at each other.
Karan had been surrounded by caring people all along.
Through days of frantic frustration and anguish, she had always thought she was fighting alone. But it was not so. People around her, people right by her side, had been quietly expressing their concern all along.
All this time I was being supported by such a little girl. And―
And by Nezumi's letter.
There were many pillars. The hearts of others held her aloft.
”Lili, thank you.” Karan gently embraced the young girl.
The emergency buzzer went off.
A part of the wall turned into a screen, and the face of a young woman appeared. She was a newscaster directly affiliated with the Information Bureau.
”This is an urgent broadcast. As of this moment, the authorities have announced a state of emergency. Citizens are advised to return home immediately. All subsequent outings of any kind by citizens will hereby be prohibited. There are no exceptions. If you do not comply, you will be arrested and taken into custody. I repeat. We are entering a state of emergency. Citizens are advised to...”