Part 9 (2/2)
I met with a kind reception--slept well--and rose about six with a desire to give myself to the Lord. In the afternoon I accompanied Mrs.
R. to her cla.s.s: it was the second time of their meeting. Mrs. R. read the rules; and afterwards, I endeavoured to speak a little to them. When addressing the third, she burst into tears through the disquietude of her soul. We knelt down to pray; and while Mrs. R. was pleading, the woman began to praise G.o.d for what He had done for her soul, and said she had been unhappy for years--but that now the Lord had given her peace. We continued on our knees, and in a little while another person, who through unwatchfulness had gone astray, professed that the Lord had restored her soul. The third (for there were but three) went away, resolved not to rest until she had found the Lord.--We went to invite the people to the prayer-meeting in the evening, and then visited the churchyard. There, the solemn silence, dwelling among sepulchral stones and the falling leaves, moved my soul to the consideration of my own mortality. May I so live, that I may hear the welcome words, 'Well done.' I feel deeply on account of my own nothingness. The prayer-meeting to-night is proposed because I am here. I am humbled at the thought. What am I? a poor worm. Oh!
wouldest Thou use a thing of nought? prepare the people, prepare me, and pour out Thy holy spirit. I was surprised at the number of people gathered together on so short a notice. The presence of the Lord overshadowed us, and the woman, who was seeking mercy at the cla.s.s, was filled with peace and joy through believing. I felt humbled under the sense of my own unprofitableness.--I have found retirement very blessed: the Lord poured into my soul a heavenly tranquility. I hope that my visit here will be beneficial to me; and that I shall learn some lessons from the kind family, under whose roof I stay: there is such a sweet submission to each other's will, and such a disposition to prefer others to themselves, as is amiable, and worthy of imitation.--My inward aspiration is, make me all glorious within, that from this pure well-spring, all my thoughts and actions may flow. I enjoy the peace of G.o.d, and for some time past, (to the glory of G.o.d I speak it,) I have had constant intercourse with heaven. My will is more fully subdued, and I have increasing power to take up my cross; but the duties of life press upon me, and I am in danger of being overwhelmed with care. I thank Thee, O my heavenly Father, for this discovery; and humbly but confidently, ask Thy protection from my foe.--A day of unusual nearness to G.o.d:--in the Lord's house; in visiting the poor; reading the rules of society; and social prayer: although dissatisfied with my performances, I feel I have done what I ought.--My spiritual strength has been increased by more frequently engaging in secret prayer. By appointment, I have daily met two friends at the throne of grace, to intercede on behalf of our neighbours: this has been made a blessing to my own soul.--For the first time, my whole family was a.s.sembled at Eastfield; but who can tell the emotions of my mind, as I gazed on one and another? I thought unutterable things; but wisely is the future hidden from our view.
O _my_ G.o.d, be Thou _their_ G.o.d. I feel the solemnity of the closing year: its toils and cares are fled for ever; only its comforts will be repeated, if I hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life.”
NEAR MIDNIGHT.
The year ebbs apace, Its sorrows are gone!
Like one in a race, Its course it hath, run: Its events, once important, now all disappear, And time wafts us on to another new year.
Then let us begin, To aim at the prize; Leave earth, self, and sin, For our home in the skies: Expecting the Bridegroom will shortly appear, Let as watch his arrival--the coming new year.
XIII.
THE REDEMPTION OF THE PROMISE.
”BE NOT AFRAID, ONLY BELIEVE.”--Mark v. 36.
”All the promises of G.o.d are in Him, yea; and in Him, amen; unto the glory of G.o.d;” then, why doubt them? since G.o.d's own honour, and faithfulness, which are dearer to Him than aught beside, are concerned in their fulfilment. The christian believer has nothing to do with the difficulties, or seeming delay of the accomplishment; but only with the unfailing word of G.o.d. If you find the promise, take it, hold it fast; and, according to thy faith, it shall be done unto thee. Mrs.
Lyth believed the word of G.o.d; and when a promise was applied to her mind, she did not lose sight of it; but patiently waited until it was redeemed. More than one instance occurs in her journal, in which she refers back to some promise, which she had previously received; and the fulfilment of which, she was expecting. This was particularly the case with reference to her mother's experience, who, though not forsaken, pa.s.sed her latter days in mourning, being pressed down by constant affliction, and the weight of years. Mrs. Lyth felt acutely on this account; but, the promise given in answer to prayer, _”At evening time it shall be light,”_ was held fast, through a period of five years. The period of its redemption was at hand.
”1831.--'Let Thy statutes be my delight in the house of my pilgrimage.' As my journey shortens, may the a.s.surance of a happy reception at the end, increase: I think it does. I have a blessed conviction that, through the merits of my Redeemer, I shall see Him without a veil between. This hope makes my spirit rejoice, when nothing external excites me. Musing on my way to the city, upon the 'charity' that 'never faileth,' and its many excellent attributes; I found myself deficient in that, which 'thinketh no evil.' Under some circ.u.mstances, I am apt to draw hasty conclusions. O forgive, and help Thy dust to be more guarded.--A friend calling in, I took up my cross, (for it was one,) to go to the prayer-meeting; the night being dark, the roads dirty, and the place distant: but I was well repaid. A goodly number were present, and the Lord was there.--My husband was at York with the gig. Mr. H. called to inform us, that in consequence of the wind, and drifted snow, he thought it would be impossible for him to return home. Concerned for his safety, I sent a man and horse to meet him, and betook myself to prayer; which the Lord condescended to hear, and answer: for after my husband had forced his way through many snow-drifts, the harness broke, just as the man met him; and he could not have proceeded further without a.s.sistance: so in the time of need there was help. I could not but regard it as providential, that Mr. H.
called; and also that the man arrived at the moment he was required.
My obligations to the Lord increase daily.--The twenty-fifth anniversary of my wedding day. THEN, my husband tells me, the bloom of the rose sat on my cheek; NOW, I am shrinking into an old woman, hair grey, teeth gone, bloom faded, and my eyes dim: but, through the mercy of G.o.d, though my outward tabernacle is thus sinking in decay, my spiritual strength is daily renewed; the vigour of my mind is not abated; my understanding is clearer, and my faith stronger than ever.
And though, by the light that s.h.i.+nes upon my soul, I discover more of my natural depravity; the Lord, by his Spirit, graciously draws me to himself, the true remedy; and blesses me with a sense of his presence.
Glory be to His name for an interest in the blood of sprinkling. Here is the source of my happiness, and all I want is here. THEN--I had a father and mother who loved and cared for me: NOW--my father is gone to his reward, and my mother is sunk in decrepitude, daily waiting her release; and I, myself a mother, have resting upon me the care and anxiety of a family; but I have inherited the promise, which descends from generation to generation. THEN--I looked forward to what might be my future portion: NOW--I look back through five and twenty years, in which goodness and mercy have followed me until now; although my pa.s.sage through the wilderness has all along been marked with unfaithfulness. Here my heart fills with grat.i.tude. What shall I render to the Lord for all his goodness towards me? THEN--I had many friends, who are NOW pa.s.sed away; but Jesus is my never-failing Friend, and through His grace, I hope soon to meet again those, who 'through faith and patience have inherited the promises.' THEN--I had much to endure and suffer; but NOW--five and twenty years of trial and suffering are over, with only one regret, that I have not suffered more patiently, and expected more largely from Him, who orders all things for the best. What still awaits me is only known to Thee; but prepare me for the event, and let Thy will be done. This is my heart's desire, uttered I believe, in the spirit of resignation; but it is Thy doing, and to Thee be all the glory. And now, I present to Thee my dear husband, and my five children: let us all be Thine--Thine to guide, Thine to save, Thine to govern, and Thine to crown.”
”Seven years ago my dear father entered into rest.”
This day, replete with memories dear, The well-known image brings to view Of him, whose name I still revere; Whose worth till lost, I never knew.
My father, (still the name is sweet!) Now in a fairer region dwells: Him gladly will I go to meet, Though wild between us Jordan swells.
”My dear mother continues very feeble, and much of my time, night and day, is devoted to her. She suffers from manifold temptations; yet I am encouraged to believe she will be delivered. Make no long tarrying, O my G.o.d,--Yesterday and to-day I have been severely and painfully exercised on account of my mother: still I hang upon the word of the promise, _'In the eventide it shall be light._ Yesterday she said, 'The will of the Lord be done.'--She tells me this morning she enjoys _peace_. Her memory is much impaired. My mind is much distressed, but finds its rest in G.o.d. It seems, as if by diversity of trial, the Lord wills to purge my affections. O let Thy will be done. Help me, however nature rebels, fully to give up my own will. Blessed be G.o.d, my soul enjoys peace. 'I trust in Him, who stands between the Father's wrath and me.' My dear mother's weakness increases; but she says this morning, she _dare not doubt_ of going to heaven.--I sat up with my dear mother. About half-past twelve she was convulsed, and felt sick; then, she dosed a little; then sick again,--called for Richard,--wandered,--evidently changed for death, and had a severe struggle, often saying, 'Do help me, do.' Her sufferings were acute.
Once she said, 'Lord, help me;' and again, 'Hope thou in G.o.d, for I shall yet pr----;' but the words were interrupted by her sufferings, My anguish of mind is known to Thee. As I stood by the fire the words were suggested,
'_Thy_ warfare's past, _thy_ mourning's o'er; Look up, for _thou_ shalt weep no more.'
I was comforted. My dear husband, cousin, and Mary, found great consolation in prayer just before her departure. Her last words were, 'Pray, pray;' 'Lord, Lord.' Thus, about half-past one on the 23rd of March, my dear mother 'fell asleep,' aged seventy-two years and three weeks.”
And though in ruin now her body lies, A peaceful smile upon her face is spread: The struggle o'er--her spirit upward flies, To join the spirits of the blessed dead.
”My dear departed mother was interred in St. Lawrence churchyard, by the side of my beloved father; leaving the impressive admonition--'prepare to follow.' I feel it--my heart determines--my will submits--I have set about it. Lord help me to persevere.”
LOOK UPWARD.
Oh! how uncertain all below!
Our comforts cause us pain; Smiling, they sting us as they go, Ne'er to return again.
Then upward turn thy weeping eye; Nor, like yon drooping tree, Bend downward to the earth; on high See Jesus looks on thee.
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