Part 31 (2/2)

What have noses but smell not? Teapots.

What have hands but work not? Clocks.

What have mouths but eat not? Rivers.

What have ears but hear not? Cornstalks.

What have tongues but talk not? Wagons.

Why do we all go to bed? Because the bed will not come to us.

What is higher and handsomer when the head is off? A pillow.

What is the best thing to make in a hurry? Haste.

Why do dentists make good politicians? Because they have a great pull.

If a tailor and a goose are on the top of a monument, what is the quickest way for the tailor to get down? Pluck the goose.

If I walk into a room full of people and place a new penny upon the table in full view of the company, what does the coin do? It looks round.

Why is a mouse like hay? Because the cat'll eat it (cattle).

Why is a madman equal to two men? Because he is one beside himself.

Which member of Congress wears the largest hat? The one who has the largest head.

When does a pig become landed property? When he is turned into a meadow.

What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair? One gives milk and the other gives whey (way).

What flower most resembles a bull's mouth? The cowslip.

When is a lady deformed? When mending stockings; because she then has her hands where her feet ought to be.

Why is the proprietor of a balloon like a phantom? Because he's an airy-nought (aeronaut).

Why do little birds in their nests agree? For fear of falling out.

Why is the flight of an eagle a most unpleasant sight to witness?

Because it's an eye-sore ('igh soar).

What impermeable fabric is a sparrow like? Gutter percher (gutta percha).

Which of the feathered tribe can lift the heaviest weights? The crane.

Why does the rope dancer invariably have to repeat his performances?

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