Part 31 (1/2)
Plant the setting sun, and what will come up? The morning glory.
Why is a dog with a lame leg like a boy ciphering? He puts down three and carries one.
Why are eyes like stage-horses? They are always under the lash.
What is the brightest idea of the day? Your eye, dear.
Why are ladies bathing like a Yankee drink? They are 'la.s.ses in water.
Of what color is gra.s.s under snow? Invisible green.
What is the hardest conundrum? Life, because we all have to give it up.
What is that which is often given you, which you never have, yet which you often give up? A conundrum.
What kin is that child to his own father who is not his own father's son? His daughter.
If d.i.c.k's father is Tom's son, what relation is d.i.c.k to Tom? Tom is his grandfather.
When does a man sneeze three times? When he cannot help it.
Why does a piebald pony never pay toll? Because his master pays it for him.
When may a man be said to have four hands? When he doubles his fists.
What goes over the water and under the water, but never touches the water? A woman crossing a bridge with a pail of water on her head.
How many peas in a pint? One.
When is a soldier like a watch? When he is on guard.
How is a poultry dealer compelled to earn his living? By fowl means.
Why is a butcher's cart like his top boots? Because he carries his calves there.
Why does a cat rest better in summer? Because summer brings a cat-a-pillow (caterpillar).
What is it that every man overlooks? His nose.
Why should potatoes grow better than any other vegetable? Because they have eyes to see what they are doing.
What were the last words of the bugler who was gored by the bull?
”Blow the horns!”
Why are lawyers like shears? Because they do not cut each other, but only what comes between them.
What have feet and walk not? Stoves.
What have eyes and see not? Potatoes.