Part 11 (1/2)

Wouldn't that be funny?”

”Anna would be jealous,” Louise says.

”I think it would make me happy,” Louise says. ”I was so happy when Anna was a baby. Everything just tasted good, even the air. I even liked being pregnant.”

Louise says, ”Aren't you happy now?”

Louise says, ”Of course I'm happy. But don't you know what I mean? Being happy like that?”

”Kind of,” Louise says. ”Like when we were kids. You mean like Girl Scout camp.”

”Yeah,” Louise says. ”Like that. You would have to get rid of your ghost first. I don't think ghosts are very hygienic. I could introduce you to a very nice man. A cellist. Maybe not the highest sperm count, but very nice.”

”Which number is he?” Louise says.

”I don't want to prejudice you,” Louise says. ”You haven't met him. I'm not sure you should think of him as a number. I'll point him out. Oh, and number eight, too. You have to meet my beautiful boy, number eight. We have to go out to lunch so I can tell you about him. He's smitten. I've smited him.”

Louise goes to the bathroom and Louise stays in her seat. She thinks of her ghost. Why can't she have a ghost and a baby? Why is she always supposed to give up something? Why can't other people share?

Why does Louise want to have another baby anyway? What if this new baby hates Louise as much as Anna does? What if it used to be a dog? What if her own baby hates Louise?

When the musicians are back on stage, Louise leans over and whispers to Louise, ”There he is. The one with big hands, over on the right.”

It isn't clear to Louise which cellist Louise means. They all have big hands. And which cellist is she supposed to be looking for? The nice cellist she shouldn't be thinking of as a number? Number eight?

She takes a closer look. All of the cellists are handsome from where Louise is sitting. How fragile theylook, she thinks, in their serious black clothes, letting the music run down their strings like that and pour through their open fingers. It's careless of them. You have to hold on to things.

There are six cellists on stage. Perhaps Louise has slept with all of them. Louise thinks, if I went to bed with them, with any of them, I would recognize the way they tasted, the things they liked, and the ways they liked them. I would know which number they were. But they wouldn't know me.

The ghost is bigger again. He's p.r.i.c.kly all over. He bristles with hair. The hair is reddish brown and sharp-looking. Louise doesn't think it would be a good idea to touch the ghost now. All night he moves back and forth in front of her bed, sliding on his belly like a snake. His fingers dig into the floorboards and he pushes himself forward with his toes. His mouth stays open as if he's eating air.

Louise goes to the kitchen. She opens a can of beans, a can of pears, hearts of palm. She puts the different things on a plate and places the plate in front of the ghost. He moves around it. Maybe he's like Anna-picky. Louise doesn't know what he wants. Louise refuses to sleep in the living room again. It's her bedroom after all. She lies awake and listens to the ghost press himself against her clean floor, moving backwards and forwards before the foot of the bed all night long.

In the morning the ghost is in the closet, upside down against the wall. Enough, she thinks, and she goes to the mall and buys a stack of CDs. Patsy Cline, Emmylou Harris, Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Lyle Lovett. She asks the clerk if he can recommend anything with yodeling on it, but he's young and not very helpful.

”Never mind,” she says. ”I'll just take these.”

While he's running her credit card, she says, ”Wait. Have you ever seen a ghost?”

”None of your business, lady,” he says. ”But if I had, I'd make it show me where it buried its treasure.

And then I'd dig up the treasure and I'd be rich and then I wouldn't be selling you this stupid country s.h.i.+t. Unless the treasure had a curse on it.”

”What if there wasn't any treasure?” Louise says.

”Then I'd stick the ghost in a bottle and sell it to a museum,” the kid says. ”A real live ghost. That's got to be worth something. I'd buy a hog and ride it to California. I'd go make my own music, and there wouldn't be any f.u.c.king yodeling.”

The ghost seems to like Patsy Cline. It isn't that he says anything. But he doesn't disappear. He comes out of the closet. He lies on the floor so that Louise has to walk around him. He's thicker now, more solid. Maybe he was a Patsy Cline fan when he was alive. The hair stands up all over his body, and it moves gently, as if a breeze is blowing through it.

They both like Johnny Cash. Louise is pleased-they have something in common now.

”I'm on to Jackson,” Louise sings. ”You big-talkin' man.”

The phone rings in the middle of the night. Louise sits straight up in bed. ”What?” she says. ”Did you say something?” Is she in a hotel room? She orients herself quickly. The ghost is under the bed again, onehand sticking out as if flagging down a bedroom taxi. Louise picks up the phone.

”Number eight just told me the strangest thing,” Louise says. ”Did you try the country music?”

”Yes,” Louise says. ”But it didn't work. I think he liked it.”

”That's a relief,” Louise says. ”What are you doing on Friday?”

”Working,” Louise says. ”And then I don't know. I was going to rent a video or something. Want to come over and see the ghost?”

”I'd like to bring over a few people,” Louise says. ”After rehearsal. The cellists want to see the ghost, too. They want to play for it, actually. It's kind of complicated. Maybe you could fix dinner. Spaghetti's fine. Maybe some salad, some garlic bread. I'll bring wine.”

”How many cellists?” Louise says.

”Eight,” Louise says. ”And Patrick's busy. I might have to bring Anna. It could be educational. Is the ghost still naked?”

”Yes,” Louise says. ”But it's okay. He got furry. You can tell her he's a dog. So what's going to happen?”

”That depends on the ghost,” Louise says. ”If he likes the cellists, he might leave with one of them. You know, go into one of the cellos. Apparently it's very good for the music. And it's good for the ghost, too.

Sort of like those little fish that live on the big fishes. Remoras. Number eight is explaining it to me. He said that haunted instruments aren't just instruments. It's like they have a soul. The musician doesn't play the instrument anymore. He or she plays the ghost.”

”I don't know if he'd fit,” Louise says. ”He's largish. At least part of the time.”

Louise says, ”Apparently cellos are a lot bigger on the inside than they look on the outside. Besides, it's not like you're using him for anything.”

”I guess not,” Louise says.

”If word gets out, you'll have musicians knocking on your door day and night, night and day,” Louise says. ”Trying to steal him. Don't tell anyone.”

Gloria and Mary come to see Louise at work. They leave with a group in a week for Greece. They're going to all the islands. They've been working with Louise to organize the hotels, the tours, the pa.s.sports, and the buses. They're fond of Louise. They tell her about their sons, show her pictures. They think she should get married and have a baby.

Louise says, ”Have either of you ever seen a ghost?”

Gloria shakes her head. Mary says, ”Oh, honey, all the time when I was growing up. It runs in families sometimes, ghosts and stuff like that. Not as much now, of course. My eyesight isn't so good now.”

”What do you do with them?” Louise says.

”Not much,” Mary says. ”You can't eat them and you can't talk to most of them and they aren't worth much.””I played with a Ouija board once,” Gloria says. ”With some other girls. We asked it who we would marry, and it told us some names. I forget. I don't recall that it was accurate. Then we got scared. We asked it who we were talking to, and it spelled out Z-E-U-S. Then it was just a bunch of letters.

Gibberish.”