28 12.2: Shiny Pens (2/2)
”I'll surprise you-” I say as I make my way across the long-ass rows of plants.
”So? Your mom's a gardener?”
”A botanist-” I say. ”This is her teeny weeny lab. She owns labs much bigger than this and much more dedicated to plants.”
”Cool-”
”No-” I say. ”It hurts to know that a plant gets more attention than you do.”
Tobias laughs in response and I glare at him.
”What?” He says. ”It's funny to imagine.”
”Thank you-” I say as we reach the stairs that'll take us upstairs to the main house. Mom is descending the stairs with an apron, yellow, silicon gloves and a curious expression on her tired face.
I walk right through her as Tobias takes a side and waits for her to walk by him. We then climb the stairs together and get into the kitchen where Mom has left the tap water running over the unwashed dishes.
”Get us to your room, Rosey-” Tobias says and I nod, getting out of the kitchen and into the huge salon before rushing to the spiral stairs that'll take us to my room.
We walk a lot, past a lot of rooms- storage, guest, seeds, two offices, my brothers' rooms- to finally get to the one at the very corner of the house. The one I chose because its balcony faces the street, people and life.
Ironic, I know.
I easily open the door and I immediately wonder if that'll be the case after years of my death, when people have moved on and no longer visit my room as often. I wonder if the doorknob will grow rusty and stale, missing people's sweaty hands that caressed it into opening up.
I wonder if things die on the inside like we do when they get misused. I wonder a lot of things.
”Are you seriously going to hold onto it forever?” Tobias, who's made it into my room, asks and I blink, snapping out of my thoughts. I look at the silver door knob and let it go.
I get into the room, that still remains untouched and look at Tobias who has let go of Benji who jumps around with life. Tobias then walks to my desk where he picks up a paper and my blue glitter pen.
Tobias tries the pen on something and gasps.
”What?” I say.
”You have shiny ink?” Tobias asks incredulously. ”Bloody hell, that's awesome. Shiny ink?” He shakes his head like he can't believe it. ”Shiny ink? How fancy is that?”
”They're glitter pens-” I say boredly. ”What do you want from them anyway?”
Tobias hands me the paper and the pen and I hold them cluelessly as he picks up Benji.
”Tell me, Rosey, did you like the sea?”
”Did I- wha-?” I face Tobias who's looking at me intently.
”The sea. The ocean. Did you like it?”
”Nah-” I say distractedly, glancing at the pen. Then, ”Not all of it.”
”Not all of it?” He repeats. ”What do you mean?”
”Tobias-?”
”Just answer-”
”Well-” I say hesitantly. ”I'm mostly afraid of it if I face it alone. It's a magnanimous creation. But on bad days, when Jacob was around, we'd go together and sit on that one broken bench. Its colour is eroded away from the sun and the salty water. But we'd sit on it and talk and talk about everything-”
”I want you to write a suicide letter-” Tobias says quickly, cutting the train of pleasant thoughts I was having.
”You want me to what?”
”Explain yourself-” He says. ”Give your brother the closure he wants.”
”Are you nuts?”
”Even happy thoughts don't influence her attitude towards things. I fail to understand what really does make her think more positively-” Tobias rambles on to the ceiling.
”I mean, I can't do that-” I say. ”I can't leave it like that-”
”Yes, you can-” Tobias says. ”You just have to figure out when and where. But you really have to do it, Roseline.”
I look at the paper one more time and blink. I then fold it up and shove it in my dress' pocket along with my 'shiny' pen.
”I'll think about it-” I say and look at Tobias who's giving me a small smile. His eyes are a bright hazel and his red hair is shining under the sun pouring from my balcony. Plus, Benji's golden fur gives his eyes a beautiful glaze and I just want to- I just wish-
”I wish it was possible to take pictures because I would've snapped one of you. Kept it with me for eternity-” I find myself saying and Tobias lifts his eyebrows, his smile widening.
”You're telling me romantic things, Roseline-” He smirks. ”Mind you, this is a 'no-feelings' zone and I might catch myself breaking rules. And I'm very obedient, Roseline-” Tobias tells me and I chuckle lightly, my heart heavy.
”Okay, Mr Obedient, we need to head downstairs-” I say with a faint smile and Tobias' smiling lips turn into a prominent 'o'.
”You're not even denying that they were romantic things!” Tobias exclaims and I shake my head.
”They weren't. I denied it. Happy?” I say with a wide smile and Tobias chuckles, walks to me, holds Benji in one arm, drapes the other arm I can't feel around my shoulders and urges me to start walking.
I laugh, brush off his arm, get out of the room and head to the porch all over again.
Mom is back in the kitchen by the time we return and make it down to the glasshouse, through the back door and onto the porch.
And surprisingly, I don't only find Aiden and Jacob, I also find another very tall guy standing on the porch steps, a hand on his hip and another shaky one reaching for his inhaler that he shoves in his mouth.
My brothers look at him curiously and Jacob, who looks less worn now, immediately gets up.
”Can I help you?” He asks, rubbing his bloodshot eyes.
The guy, this very familiar guy, finds it difficult to open his eyes under the sun and lowers his head.
”Hello-” He says shakily, out of breath. ”I-uh-” He looks up at Jacob who's now studying the guy's attire. Jeans, simple black hoodie and a backpack. ”This is Mr and Mrs Bracken's residence?”
Jacob looks confused for a second but then nods.
The guy's uptight shoulders drop and he steps closer to Jacob. Aiden quickly gets up and I wonder if my brothers see this fickle guy as a threat.
”You're Roseline's brother, right?” The guy states more than asks. ”I am William James, your sister's mate. And I would like to give you something.”
William. Yes. William. I remember him.