Part 11 (2/2)

With the precision of one who'd spent most of her life in the Bloomington area, Kari navigated her way up the two-lane highway lined with rolling hills and autumn leaves and onto the busy streets of the city proper. At the store she grabbed the first pregnancy test she could find and hid it in her cart beneath the bread. She saw an older couple from church and made small talk for a few minutes but was relieved to see no one else she knew.

What would I say if I ran into Ryan Taylor? The thought took her by surprise, and Kari had no answer for herself except for one: She wasn't ready to see him again. And to see him while she

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was purchasing a pregnancy test, of all things, would be utterly unbearable.

Thirty minutes later she pulled up back at her parents' home and hid the test in her coat pocket. Cole would be asleep by now so she opened the door quietly.

Once inside she set the groceries on the counter and looked at her mother.

Immediately Kari knew something was wrong. ”Mom?”

Her mother was sitting at the kitchen table, her Bible open; her face ashen.

”Come sit down, Kari. I have to talk to you.”

A tremor made its way through Kari's veins and into her heart. Whatever it was, she couldn't take it. That much was sure. Kari crossed the kitchen and sat down across from her mother: ”What?”

Her mother met her desperate gaze. ”Tim called.”

Kari could feel her eyes fly open, her jaw drop. They'd been talking about him less than an hour ago, and then he'd called? That had to be good, didn't it?

Maybe he'd come to his senses,! She felt the slightest surge of hope. ”What did he say?”

”He . . .” Her mother shook her head, and her eyes fell.

”Mother, what? Tell me what he said.” It couldn't be worse, could it? Nothing could be worse than what he'd already told her.

Finally her mother looked up, and Kari could see how much she didn't want to answer. ”He was drunk, Kari. His speech was so slurred that I could barely understand him.”

Kari clutched her forehead as her mind searched desperately for explanations.

”Maybe . .. maybe he was tired.” She stood and took a few steps to one side and then the other. ”He's never had a drink in his life.”

She'd heard the stories about Uncle Frank and how Tim never wanted to find out if deep inside him lived an alcoholic like his mother's brother. He would never have started drinking, would he? And if he had . . . tears stung at Kari's eyes.

”It can't be true.” Her hands began to shake. When would the nightmare end?

89 Her mother took hold of Kari's fingers. ”He was drunk.” Her tone was calmer and completely convincing. ”I'm sure of it.”

Kari broke free of her mother's grip, rested her hands on the table, and hung her head. After a while she looked up, and for a long moment she stared at her mother, searching her face for answers. ”What did he say?”

Her mother tenderly placed a hand over Kari's. ”You won't like it.”

Why, Lord? Kari blinked back fresh tears. ”It's okay, Mom. Tell me.”

”Oh, honey ... he said he still wants a divorce. He told me to tell you he's getting a lawyer.”

Kari threw her hands up and moved into the living room. Her mother came up behind her, gently taking hold of Kari's shoulders. ”My whole life's a mess.”

Her mother leaned her cheek against the back of Kari's head. ”He's serious, isn't he? About the divorce?”

Kari stared out the window at the tree-lined driveway and the gra.s.sy fields where she'd played as a child. Back when she'd known for sure she'd grow up to marry Ryan Taylor.

”I won't give him one. He's crazy and he's in a bad place. ” She turned and stared at her mother, silently pleading for her to understand. ”He'll come around one day.” Kari gulped, feeling for the pregnancy test in her pocket.

”Besides ...”

Her mother's eyes softened, and she ran her fingers along Kari's cheek. As if she knew what her daughter was going to say, she locked eyes with Kari and spoke in a voice that was almost too quiet to hear. ”Besides, what?”

There was no point in hiding it. If she was pregnant, it couldn't possibly come as a shock. After all, Tim was her husband, and ten weeks earlier Kari had known nothing of his unfaithfulness. She drew a steadying breath, her gaze still connected to her mother's. ”I might be pregnant.”

Her mother didn't move or cry out, but something in her eyes looked as if it had died.

”I thought you might be.”

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Kari blew a wisp of bangs off her forehead and stared back out the window again.

”I bought the test today.” She made a noise that was part laugh. ”If I am pregnant, I'll need you and Dad and . . . everyone else.” She blinked, willing the tears not to come again, but they were too close to the surface to be held back. ”I need you, Mom,” she whimpered as she felt her mother's arms surround her.

The landscape of Kari's mind was littered with questions she! couldn't answer.

What if the test was positive? What if Tim became! an alcoholic like his uncle?

What if he found a way to marry the student he was seeing? And most of all, where was G.o.d in all this?

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