Part 4 (2/2)

She turned on the table lamp and reached for the Bible she kept beneath it. Show me something, Lord ... give me peace. I can't make it through the night.

Flipping through the pages, she settled into Psalms and began skimming verses, looking for promises of peace or vengeance or at the very least, deliverance.

Her eyes scanned Psalms 48 and

36.

49, and then from deep in the sea of pain her feet hit solid ground.

It came in the form of Psalm 50:15: Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.

Nothing about what Tim had done was honorable; in fact, she was deeply ashamed for him, for both of them. But here in G.o.d's Word, among all the other promises that would always be true, was one that seemed written just for her. To think that G.o.d would not only deliver her but also give her a chance to somehow honor him in the midst of this disaster. It was enough to make her heart rate return to normal and the flushed feeling fade.

Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.

”Help me, Lord,” she whispered into the night. ”I'm so lost.”

She closed the Bible, flipped off the light, and lay there repeating the verse in the dark, believing the promise within. It was the only thing that got her through the rest of the night.

In the morning, when she remembered that Tim had left her for another woman, when the reality of that settled around her consciousness like a vise grip, she called her parents' house.

”h.e.l.lo?”

It was her mother. Help her understand without asking a lot of questions, G.o.d...

please. Kari knew she sounded awful; no doubt her mom would be worried. She closed her eyes and began to talk. ”Hi, it's Kari.” A fresh bunch of sobs collected at the base of her throat, and she could no longer speak.

”Kari-honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?” Kari felt strangely rea.s.sured by the alarm in her mother's voice, as if she'd finally stumbled onto someone who cared.

Kari coughed, trying to clear away the thick and heavy sadness blocking her airway. The anger and fear from yesterday were gone. In their place was a sadness she couldn't begin to describe. ”I need to talk to you.”

”Want me to come there?”

”No.” Kari's sinuses were swollen shut from hours of weeping, 37 and at the moment it was all she could do to carry on a conversation. ”I'll be there in an hour.”

Minutes later she stepped into the shower and considered what her life had become. She had no idea how long Tim would be gone or how serious he was about the divorce.

And there, while the hot water washed over her body, she allowed herself to drift back to the days when she first met Tim Jacobs.

She remembered so many good things about him-his friendly looks, his sense of humor, his intelligence. His stalwart faith. Who wouldn't have jumped at the chance to date him?

Kari mulled over these points and realized there was one thing about Tim that had stood out more than all the others combined. Ultimately it had been the thing that convinced her to marry him.

He made her forget about Ryan Taylor.

Kari Baxter's senior year in college had been a difficult time for her. Some days her heart had been in such a shambles that she wondered how she got dressed in the morning, let alone survived the day.

Back then Tim Jacobs had seemed like the answer to all her prayers. Especially after the way things had ended with Ryan.

Kari sighed. It would do her heart no good to dwell on Ryan. Not now. Better to skip the part where the boy who had been her best friend, her first love, made his sudden and lasting exit from her life.

It was spring when Tim made his entrance, and Kari was in her final semester at Indiana University. Though she was still reeling, she had started to think she might survive. She even made a plan to attend a campus Bible study at the Indiana Memorial Union.

Kari remembered feeling indifferent that day, as if she were merely going through the motions. She showed up ten minutes early, slipped into a booth in the lounge where the study would be held, and rested her head on her backpack.

38.

Tim was one of a few people setting up that day, and for several minutes she watched him talk with a short, redheaded girl. ' He seemed older than the average student, and Kari wondered if/ he was a professor. Most campus clubs had a faculty advisor.

”I know it might not be spiritual, but the way to really lure people in is with trips.” The girl spoke with her hands, her voice tinny and flirtatious. ”Lots of trips. I think a camp-out at Lake Monroe would be perfect.”; Kari peered at Tim and noticed he was good-looking in a simple way-about six feet tall, with dark hair that already showed some distinguished gray. Eyes full of good-humored confidence.

Tim smiled as he shook his head. ”I don't think so, Ruth.”

The redhead threw him a teasing look. ”Why not?”

”A bunch of college kids on a camp-out?” He shook his head. ”Then what? Next year we start a campus nursery for single mothers?”

”That's what I like about you, Tim.” A blush fell across the redhead's face.

”Always thinking.”

The girl put her hands on her hips and stifled a smile. She won't let it drop, Kari thought absently. I wonder if he knows she has a crush on him. She shot a look at his left hand. No wedding ring. At least the redhead wasn't flirting with a married man.

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