Part 5 (2/2)
”I can cook, Beau. I don't know what the problem is.” I roll my eyes. I'm actually a good cook. I bake and love to try new recipes. I'm just not good with eggs, apparently.
”You roll your eyes at me again, we're going to have other problems, darlin'.” His hot breath hits me first, then the slight tickle of his beard before the words wash over me.
I freeze instantly. The pressure of his hard chest pus.h.i.+ng me against the wall suspends me from the present to the past.
I know Beau wouldn't hurt me, know it with every fiber of my being, but it doesn't stop my body from reacting.
”Step back,” I manage past my dry cottonmouth. My stomach turns as the memory grows stronger. My heart heaves in my chest.
He doesn't argue, his weight is off me in one second. But it's too late. I'm spiraling head first back into the past.
Past
Mackenzie
”I'm sorry, baby, see what you do to me? You make me crazy. I love you so much it drives me insane.” The stars dancing in front of my eyes still linger, but I manage to find my bearings.
It's happening all over again.
”You mean everything to me, Mackenzie. Seeing you taunt me like that is too much for me. You can't speak to me like that and not expect me to react.” He continues to excuse his behavior and push the blame onto me, but I don't have it in me to listen this time. It's going to be the same old story. Only I already know the ending.
Ignoring his apology, I start to s.h.i.+ft from my position on the tiled floor and attempt to stand on my feet. I was cleaning the kitchen after our guests had left right before Chad came at me with his fist.
”Here let me help you.” He reaches for me, but a panicked plea leaves my mouth before I can stop myself.
”NO!”
He recoils at the level of my voice and I take the brief moment to find my feet on my own.
”You can't be angry at me, Mackenzie. You deliberately provoked me.” I slowly and painfully turn back to face him and finally see what I have been missing since the night he changed. The man is crazy. He's not going to change. Tonight proves it.
”Provoked you, Chad?” I shake my head of thoughts of our beginning and contemplate how we're going to end.
”Don't f.u.c.king act dumb. It doesn't suit you, sweetheart.” Forcing a breath into my lungs, I take a minute and try to figure out how to play this.
”I'm dumb all right, Chad. Dumb to think you would change.” With false bravado, I move to our bedroom. Each small step burns my innards like boiling water.
”Where the f.u.c.k do you think you're going?” Fingers wrap around my forearm, stopping me before I can run away.
”Take your hands off me.” The shriek in my voice echoes off the high walls of our house, but he doesn't react, his hold staying firm.
”You're not f.u.c.king going anywhere. You're my wife.” The vein in his temple bulges as his grip grows stronger. His alcohol-laced breath hits my face and I force myself not to breathe in the offensive smell.
”You don't beat your wife, Chad.” I tug harder, desperate to be out of his hold.
”Maybe if you weren't acting like a wh.o.r.e all night, I wouldn't f.u.c.king have to.”
I know arguing with him right now isn't going to help me. He's drunk, angry, and he's already hit me, but I can't help it. The fact he's calling me a wh.o.r.e hurts more than the fist to the face.
”Wh.o.r.e? Tell me how I was a wh.o.r.e?”
”You don't think I saw the looks you kept throwing the a.s.shole. The smiles, the way you f.u.c.king let him kiss you goodbye.” He pulls me to his chest.
”You're f.u.c.king crazy.” I fight his hold. The man has lost his d.a.m.n mind. I was only playing the part he has drilled into me since becoming his wife.
”Yeah, crazy for you, baby.” His nose comes to my hairline and he breathes me in. I keep fighting, even though I know it's pointless. He's too strong.
”I'm leaving, Chad. We're done. You promised, and I believed you. I trusted you wouldn't put your hands on me again.”
”You're not going anywhere, Mackenzie.” He spins us in one fast movement and pushes me against the wall. Air leaves my lungs in a rapid surge at the force of the impact. He steps in closer, one hand leaving my arm and moving lower, slipping past the hemline of my s.h.i.+ft dress. Chad starts to glide it up the outside of my thigh. I fight the tears threatening to fall. It shouldn't be like this. I know that. But the most terrifying thing is, I don't think Chad knows it. To him, there are no boundaries or lines that shouldn't be crossed.
”Don't. Please don't.” Repulsion aches through me at his touch and I fight it when his fingers slip into the side of my panties. I've never felt so hopeless in my life, standing against the wall inside of my home with my husband's unwelcome touch.
”Don't what? Touch my wh.o.r.e wife.” I kick out at his s.h.i.+n, fighting once more for a brief moment to break free, but I'm met with a backhand to the face. My cheek stings and I cry out, not in pain but in fear, not sure how far he is going to take this or how I am going to get out of this. I don't know if I can. The thought alone has my knees buckling under me.
”The more you fight me, Mackenzie, the worse this is going to be for you.” He holds me up against the wall.
”Why are you doing this, Chad?” A sob escapes my lips as he forcibly drives two fingers inside of me. How could the man I love try to take this from me? The man who promised to love and cherish me.
”Because I love you, Mackenzie. No one will ever have what belongs to me. Do you understand me?”
I don't answer because I have no idea how he could think this is love.
This isn't love. This is the devil's kingdom and I don't belong here. The flames from the pits of h.e.l.l are burning my flesh from the outside, working their way underneath my skin, waiting to turn the flicker of hope I have left in me to ash.
I have to find my way out of it.
Somehow I have to.
Six.
Beau ”That's it, darlin', deep breaths,” I encourage. Her eyes remain closed as she slowly starts to come back to herself. She's been like this for over five minutes now, and it's as if my breathing labors like hers, gasping each time she does.
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