Chapter 27 (2/2)

Huang Fan parted the curtains and watched the downpour hit the street lit by dim yellow lights. Other than the rings of light, everything else was black. This gave him the illusion that the water was falling not from the sky but from the streetlights themselves.

Xu Ping had left.

He had seen Xu Ping off to the lobby. The rain was going strong, and the raindrops bounced so high off the ground that his pant legs were wet.

He pa.s.sed his umbrella to Xu Ping, but the younger man did not take it.

“Take it! Look at this rain! Do you want a cold?”

With his hands holding his s.h.i.+rt together, Xu Ping replied flatly, “You don’t understand. I don’t want to borrow anything from you. Borrowing it means I’d have to return it, and then we would have to meet again. What’s the point?”

Huang Fan paused, his hand nearly cracking the shaft of the umbrella. He smiled, “Are you worried my roommate will blab about what happened today? Rest a.s.sured, I have my ways of shutting him up. You won’t be involved.”

He grabbed Xu Ping’s hand, flattened the palm, placed the umbrella in it, and manually wrapped his fingers around it.

“Hold onto it.”

The moment he let go, the black folding umbrella hit the ground with a clunk.

Huang Fan bent over, picked it up and placed it in Xu Ping’s hand again.

And it fell to the ground again.

Huang Fan looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds before smiling again. “All right, you selfish boy. I don’t want this back. It’ll be a gift, okay?”

Solemnly, he placed the umbrella back in Xu Ping’s hand and wrapped his hand around the younger man’s hand, holding it in place.

He stayed like that for a long time, but when he slowly let go, the umbrella fell yet again.

He bent over to pick it up, but when he straightened his back, he threw it down in an explosion of fury.

“What the f.u.c.k do you want, Xu Ping?!”

Speechlessly, Xu Ping picked up the umbrella and placed it in the basket of a bicycle parked in the corridor.

“So you want to draw the lines after using me, and go separate ways from here on out?” He scoffed. “You wis.h.!.+”

Xu Ping stuck a hand out into the rain, testing. “Whatever you want to think, I’m leaving.”

Huang Fan lunged and grabbed his arm, chest heaving roughly as he managed his frustration. “Don’t do this, Xu Ping. I had no idea he would come back all of a sudden. He told me he would spend the weekend at home. If he hadn’t interrupted, you’d be mine now! Think about it from my side. This isn’t my fault!”

Xu Ping faced away and didn’t speak.

A sliver of hope blossomed in Huang Fan. He wrapped his arms tightly around Xu Ping. “If there’s anything I can do, just tell me. My place is no good now, but if you want, there’s a motel nearby. We can go there –”

Xu Ping shoved him away.

“You still don’t understand, Huang Fan. I’m not angry with you. I’m not angry at all. I’m just disappointed – disappointed with myself. I did something very wrong. I shouldn’t have come here. The one I love is not you, and I don’t want anything to happen between us. The one I love is Xu Zheng. I was only able to get it up by pretending you were him.”

Huang Fan stayed quiet for a second before responding, “Yeah, I know. So what? Pretend I’m your brother, then.”

Xu Ping looked down and was momentarily quiet in contemplation. “No.”

Flinging the older man’s hand away, he walked into the rain. Instantly, his clothes became soaked.

As Huang Fan watched the figure under the streetlights, a shout escaped his lips. “XU PING!”

Holding his s.h.i.+rt together, Xu Ping turned his head. His wet hair hung in lumpy strands down his forehead.

It was raining so hard that his eyes could barely stay open.

In that moment, there were so many things Huang Fan wished to tell Xu Ping. That he was likely on the blacklist already. That he was going to be imprisoned as a political criminal – five years, ten years, or twenty years – and he would have merely a fraction of his life left after the sentence. That he hoped to have a taste of joy for just one night with Xu Ping even if that meant he would be treated as a subst.i.tute.

But the words that came close to a plea were not uttered.

Xu Ping gave him a slight nod before quickly disappearing around a rainy street corner.

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