Chapter 7 (2/2)

Huh?

“You, did you really think I couldn’t tell when you were lying? Don’t look down on azed intently at the face of a woer underesti light in her eyes, see The corners of my lips couldn’t help but curl Myher coffee

Since irl were scheduled for the afternoon, I spent themy books It still wasn’t yet the turn of “The Little Prince” that I had borrowed froht a little earlier

Tied into a sio to a bookstore, I arrived at the station e nearby bookstore

I bought a book afterto the café where we had agreed to meet It was just a short walk from the station, and since it was a weekday, the inside of the store was relatively empty I ordered an iced coffee and sat myself down at a seat beside aThere was still about an hour till ere supposed to meet

The store was air-conditioned, but the suulp of the iced coffee, I felt a pleasant sensation - as though the coffee were circulating throughout my body But were that truly the case, I’d already been dead, so it was ulti borrowed the powers of the cooler and the coffee to clear rury precisely when noon arrived The thought of getting so to eat crossed my mind for a second, but since I had proirl, I stopped ht to another all-you-can-eat buffet right after I’d satisfied my appetite here She did have that part about her after all

Recalling the two consecutive days that I had unwillingly joined her for lunch, I smiled So over a month had passed since then huh

I decided to wait quietly for the girl I placed the paperback I had been reading earlier onto the table

Naturally, I thought of reading it, but unexpectedly, for one reason or another, aze turned outside I didn’t understand why If I had to pick a reason, I could only say that it was so I just happened to do It was a reason that was unlike irl’s carefree nature

Under the harsh sunlight, all sorts of people were co A male in a suit looked particularly hot I wondered why he wouldn’t take off his suit A young fe a tank top was headed towards the station with light steps She probably had soedhands They were one of those couples Aher child in a stroller was……

I thought about it, and was taken aback

Those people walking outside the ould surely never have any relation to me in this lifetiers

I thought about why I was thinking of the like this would never have happened before

I’d always thought that I wasn’t interested in the people aroundI’d decided not to be interested in thehing to , and so I ended up laughing

The face of the girl I was supposed to ed Without any doubt, I had been changed

On the day I met her, my nature as a human, my everyday, and my views on life and death all becaht, if I were to ask her, she’d probably say that with all of the choices I had e myself

I had chosen to pick up the paperback that had been left behind

I had chosen to open the paperback

I had chosen to speak with her

I had chosen to teach her how to do library committee work

I had chosen to take her up on her invitation I had chosen to eat with her

I had chosen to walk beside her I had chosen to go on a trip with her

I had chosen to go wherever she wanted I had chosen to sleep in the same room as her

I had chosen truth I had chosen dare

I had chosen to sleep on the same bed as her

I had chosen to help her eat the remainder of her breakfast I had chosen to watch the street perforic to her

I had chosen to buy an Ultraman for her I had chosen the souvenir to buy

I had chosen to answer that the trip was fun

I had chosen to visit her house

I had chosen to play shogi I had chosen to pull ahead of her

I had chosen to push her down I had chosen to hurt the boy that was our class representative

I had chosen to let hiirl

I had chosen to visit the girl I had chosen the gifts to bring

I had chosen to tutor the girl I had chosen when to return home

I had chosen to escape froic tricks

I had chosen to play Truth or Dare I had chosen the question to ask

I had chosen not to escape from her arms I had chosen to press her for answers

I had chosen to laugh with her I had chosen to embrace her

No matter how many ti undeniably chosen with h I should have made different choices, I was here Different from the me of the past, I was here

I see, I understood now

No one, not evenswept away - ere the ones to choose

The one who taught irl that was supposed to die soon, but even so, continued to face forward more than anybody else, and decided to irl that loved the world, loved people, and loved herself

Once again, I had that thought

I……you

The cellphone in ht be just a little late, sorry (sweat) I’h)”

I saw herfor a little bit, I replied

“Congratulations on your discharge I was just thinking about you”

A response to the ht away

“Well aren’t you saying so, are you sick? [winking face]”

After a pause, I replied

“Unlike you, h”

“How horrible! You’ve hurtcoh - I wonder if the problem’s with me or is the probleet to it”

I placed ht A co about her that I could compliment - there really were a mountain’s worth of those Surely so many that my cellphone’shthtconversations with people, I chose words that see replies fro about her was her vast personalthat seemed to have no relation to her life expectancy Surely, she had always been like that Of course, thoughts were moulded little by little, and words increased in richness bit by bit, but the basis for the to do hether she would die in a year or not

She, as she as a

I’ll confess it, that every ti A hus that the cowardly me, who only ever kept to himself, couldn’t do - she was a human that could nonchalantly say and do them

I tookperson

I had always thought so But I was never able to find the right words

However, I understood it then

Then, when she taught me what it irl

I…………you

“I really wanted to beconised people, to beconised by people

To become a human that loved people, to become a human that was loved by people

When I put it into words, I could only find thehout that organ ofthe corners of my mouth

Just what should I have done to become you?

Just what should I do to become you?

What should I do?

At last, I realised If I re that carried the sa, I decided to present her with that

“I want to brew the dirt under your nails and drink it”

I typed it out intending only to type it out, and deleted it right away I realised that just this wouldn’t be interesting Even though they would havethat evenonce more, the words surfaced from the corner, no, perhaps the center of ht So much so that I’d even become proud of myself

There were no words more perfect than these to present her

The words that e - I sent them to her cellphone

I……

“I want to eat your pancreas”

I placedforward to her reply So forward to so the o would have found unbelievable But since he had chosen to becoht to complain

I waited earnestly for her

Earnestly

However, her reply never carew

When the ti forward to the response she would make when she appeared

However, she never arrived either

For thirty minutes, I continued to ithout much concern

After an hour - and subsequently two - had passed, as expected, I started to become restless orry

When three hours had passed, I tried giving her a call for the first time She didn’t pick up

When four hours had passed, the scenery outside had turned to that of evening I left the store I knew that soue worries plagued my heart, I had noexhausted all my options, I decided to return home

When I’d reached home, I started to think that - just ht her somewhere else It was the only way I could soothe the fears that had gripped my heart

I was restless the entire tireat if tiht then

I ca television, still worried, and about to fill my stomach with the dinner before me

At that moment, I learnt for the first time why she hadn’t shown up

She had told a lie

I had told a lie too

She had broken her pro me when it was time for her to die

I had brokenwhatever I had borrowed froain be able to meet her

I saw the news

My classmate Sakura Yamauchi had been discovered collapsed in an alley in her residential district by a resident in the vicinity

An ambulance was called to take her away immediately after she had been discovered, but despite desperate attempts to resuscitate her, she had breathed her last

The programme’s newscaster read only the truth, without the least bit of sy, I dropped the as of yet unused chopsticks I had been holding onto the floor

She had been discovered with a commercially available kitchen knife embedded deep into her chest

She had become the latest victim in the series of random attacks that had caused a commotion from before

The criminal - some person I didn’t know froht away

She had died

I had been depending on it

I had still been depending on it at this stage

I had been depending on the one year’s worth of ti

Just maybe, even she had been like that too

At the very least, I had been uaranteed

I had thought that it was a given that the girl who didn’t have much time left would have had a tomorrow

I didn’t know about irl who didn’t have tiic it was

I had fully believed that the world would indulge only the life of the girl who had notlike that that wouldn’t happen It didn’t happen

The world didn’t discriminate

It refused mercy to its inhabitants - be they huirl who had a foot in the grave

We had misunderstood We were fools

But, I wonder if anyone could deride us for

A drama that had its final episode decided wouldn’t end until its final episode

A a that had its cancellation decided wouldn’t end until its cancellation

A movie that had a preview for its final instalment wouldn’t end until its final instal that They should have been taught as ht that

I had believed that a novel wouldn’t end until its last page

Perhaps she would laugh, that I had been reading too hed at, I didn’t mind

I had wanted to read it till the very end Even though I had meant to read it

Her story had coes still blank

With the all the build-up, foreshadowing, and red herrings neglected

I could never find out anything anymore

The result of theup too

The contents of the ic trick she called the ace up her sleeve too

What she really thought of me too

I could never find out

…………That hat I had thought

Because she had died, I had given up on that

But I only realised later that that wasn’t true

Even after her funeral and there was nothing left of her but bone, I hadn’t gone to her house

I had shutbooks

In the end, I required alo to her house

Just before summer vacation ended, I rees of her story - there was perhaps just one way to read the of me and her

The “Disease Coexistence Journal” – I had to read it

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Posted on 20 March 2017, at 206pm, with 0 notes