Chapter 7 (1/2)

Translation: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino (Chapter 7)

Synopsis

One day, I - a high schooler - found a paperback in the hospital The “Disease Coexistence Journal” was its title It was a diary that my classmate, Sakura Yamauchi, had written in secret Inside, it ritten that due to her pancreatic disease, her days were numbered And thus, I coincidentally went fro-Class drawn to her, as irl that was already suffering from an illness with an equally cruel reality…

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She had informed me of her extended hospitalisation with unexpected indifference Though I orried, it seemed like the patient herself had anticipated as much, so I was a little relieved I’d only admit it inside my heart, but I had been rather beside myself orry

On Tuesday afternoon after the supplementary lessons, I went to pay her a visit The supplementary lessons were about to come to an end too

“There’s only a little o huh!”

She said only that with a tone that could have been considered a la to convey to rettable

Outside, the sun was shi+ning The air-conditioned hospital as like a shelter that protected us from the sun’s rays, but it ht?”

“Aah, yeah I get the feeling that her glare has so than last week, but maybe your persuasion worked like a tranquilliser, so she hasn’t ju about my best friend like she’s solared at by her with those eyes So she’s wearing cat’s clothing huh A feline beast then - maybe a lion”

I hadn’t talked to her about last week’s incident at the bookstore

I poured the canned peaches I had bought as a gift into a dish, and dug in with her The sweetness of the syrup soht back nawing on the abnorazed outside

“Why did you coood weather like this? You should play dodgeball or so outside”

”First of all, you called eball since elementary school And thirdly, I don’t have anyone to play it with While considering the three aforementioned points, please choose which you’d rather I do”

“Both”

“Greedy huh - then, I’ll let you have the last peach”

With a childlike smile, she stabbed her fork into the peach and stuffed the whole thing into her mouth I carried the plate and the can to the sink at the corner of the ward It seemed like there was a system where the nurses would clear it up if I left it here They would even bring out food too - if not for the illness within her, this could have actually been a VIP roo at no additional cost Today too, despite finding it a bother, she took down notes seriously I had asked her once before about the necessity of her studying Since she wouldn’t be taking exarades went to tatters, it’d e I understood, and realised why I had never felt a special need to study no ic shoas postponed She said that it wasn’t possible to keep on preparing new productions after all And that she was preparing her the ace up her sleeve, so I should look forward to it, and so-

“I’ll ithto stretch your neck out? Yousootten so duure of speech? Now you have a virus in your head too huh, hoful”

“The one that calls someone else dumb is the dumb one!”

“So I was mistaken huh - I said that it was because you have a disease, but it wasn’t a disease”

“There’s noafter all”

“Could you please not take advantage of the confusion to cast a curse on me?”

It was the saless conversations like this delighted me Because it felt like such an at fun at each other had becoe

As expected, I - as relieved by so known as hu in the “Disease Co-existence Journal”, and so, for soaze to a corner of the ward I wondered if it was because of the attachment and accumulation of the illnesses of the patients from before that it become discoloured

“Does ?????-kun have any plans for su back to face her when aze returned to her sooner than I had expected

“Probably just co books at hoo and do so on a trip with Kyouko in my stead?”

“I don’t have the qualifications required to enter a lion’s cage And weren’t you going on a trip with Kyouko-san?”

“It’s kinda ih My hospital stay has been extended, and that girl is busy with club activities too”

She’d said so so on one more trip y'knooow”

…………Huh?

Her so stop for a moment

And in that instant, I saw a black haze creep descend into the roo within my heart’s core ulp ofit out What was that just now?

I mulled over her words inside my head Just like what a detective in a novel would do with an important character’s lines

It was probably because I wasa troubled face She withdrew her wry smile, and tilted her head to the side

The one that was puzzled wasthat?

The ht out my mouth

“Why, did you say that like you’ll never be able to go on a trip again?”

She looked like she had been caught off guard She eon that had been shot with a peashooter

“…………I said it, like that?”

“You did”

“I see, guess even I have thoughts that appear like that huuuh”

“Hey……”

I wondered just what kind of face I wasThe unrest that had buried itself deep within the depths of my heart since my last visit swelled, and at last threatened to burst forth from my mouth Desperate, I tried to cover my mouth with my hands - butto die right?”

“Huh? I’ to die, me and you included”

“I don’tabout what happens once my pancreas breaks doell of course I’ll die”

“I don’tmy open palms onto the corner of the bed, I ju on toppled over, filling the ith the unpleasantThis time, she made a face that was undoubtedly one of shock Even I was shocked at myself Just what did I just do that for?

I strained es ofto die, right?”

Since she was still in shock, the girl didn’t respond, and silence fell upon the ward Fearing the silence, I continued to speak

“You’ve been acting weird for a while now”

“…………”

“You’re hiding so Truth or Dare, and suddenly holding ontohad happened, your reaction eird You made such a weird pause - did you think I wouldn’t think it was strange? Even though it’s beco fro so fast I couldn’t recall as said I’d ran out of breath by the time I was done But there was another reason as to why I hadn’t drawn breath I was perplexed About her, as hiding so, and myself, who had decided to involve irl who still had the look of utter shock on her, I - who operated on the principle of cal dohen someone else was more upset - composed ently loosened their grip on the bedsheets

I looked at her face Her eyes ide open and her lips were sealed shut Perhaps she would run away and try to sweep everything under the rug again I wondered what I would do if it cae to pursue her further And if I did, I wondered if there would be anyto it

Just what……did I want to do?

An answer derailed ht

Normally, she would quickly cycle between a variety of expressions That hy I expected nothing else but her duive way to another rich expression But I rong

This tied really slowly The corners of her sealed lips curled upwards with all the haste of a snail Her wide-open eyes slowly narrowed, like curtains drawn to an tothemselves out

She made a smile that I could never i

“Shall I tell you? About what happened”

“……Please”

I was as nervous as a child about to be disciplined

She opened her large mouth, and with a look of happiness, responded

“It’s nooothing at all It’s just that I’ve been thinking about you”

“About me?”

“Yup, about you You see, we really played Truth or Dare because I was thinking of asking so about how great it would be if I could get along better with you”

“……Really?”

I asked with a voice tinged with scepticism

“Really I wouldn’t lie to you after all”

It may have been lip service, but even so, I couldn’t concealbeen sapped of their strength I kneas being gullible, but I chose to believe her

“Ehehehehehehehehehehehe”

“……What’s wrong?”

“Naaah, I’ht even die”

“That’s no good”

“Do you want ?”

“…………Yeah”

“Ehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe”

Still looking at hed, abnorined that you’d needas a human y'know, for me to probably be the first person needed by you, a shut-in

”Just who’s a shut-in here?”

This was all I could ht explode fro I didn’t want to lose, so that I probably needed But while that was the truth, the ehts went far beyond that of sih all the blood into my head It was almost as if I would really die Somehow, I forced myself to take a deep breath, and let the heat escape , she continued with a rhythhtest intention of givingweird, you thought that I was about to die? Without telling you”

“……That’s right, your hospitalisation suddenly got extended after all”

She started laughing loudly, convulsing so violently I thought she ht tear off the drip attached to her ar the object of such fervent laughter

“You’re the one at fault for saying easily s”

“But I’ve said it before! That there’s still tiic y'knooow But as for what you said earlier, I wonder why you got bothered by a little pause betweentoo , she started to laugh again

“Don’t worry, since I’ll properly tell you when it’s tihter yet again Having been laughed at too e too It see confronted about it

“Make sure to properly eat ht”

“By any chance, could it be that you won’t die if your bad parts were reht now then?”

“Do you want lad that I was a human whose honest words looked like jokes Because if s were to be received, I, who had coet so eain

I didn’t kno she received it, but she jokingly said, “ya~y, I’m so happy,” and spread both her arirl that see

“Haven’t you recently begun liking the body heat of others too?”

The words she said between giggles must have been meant as a joke That hy I decided to respond withher words honestly

I stood up, approached her, and jokingly wrapped my hands around her back for the first tiain as she wrapped her arms around mine It would have been unsophisticated to ask if there was any ic in a joke

We had stayed in sae

“H today huh”

“That girl has club activities Actually, what do you think of Kyouko?”

“I guess, a de”

The two of us laughed, and I took the opportunity to let go of her body, but it was only after she gave o We drew apart, and joking till the very end, we laughed till both our faces turned red

“Speaking of dying, y'know”

She broached the topic once the both of us had cal up like that has probably never been done before huh”

“Recently, I’ve been thinking that I should get started riting ht, were you lying about how there was still ti to have to revise and correct itto start writing it down”

“If it’s like that then I guess it’s fine Since it does take more ti after all So look forward to reading ht”

“I’ll look forward to it”

“You mean you want me to die sooner? How horrible Or so I’d say, but since you need , but since I was about to reachh I frowned at her with unamused eyes, she continued to smile, undaunted Perhaps it was the syht, since I y I’ll let you be the first one I have fun hen I’ed”

“Seey, huh”

“You don’t want to?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to”

“?????-kun really does have that part about you huh”

I wondered which part she was talking about, but I sort of understood et discharged, I’ll be heading home first, but I’ll be free after that, so it’ll be in the afternoon then”

“What are we going to do?”

“H over a nued? We’ll think about it”

Just like that, I gave e, the plan - which she had decided to call a “promised date” to my dissatisfaction - had turned into a visit to the beach, so she had hoped to do Additionally, ould drop by a café soic trick she was still in the

Truthfully, when I had proo out with her after she was released, I orried that soht happen between then and the day of her discharge But the days up till then passed with nothing of the sort happening Just this tiht perhaps that it was just as she said - I had been reading too many novels

Within those teeks, the supplementary lessons had ended, and elcomed summer vacation I paid her four visits On the first, I ran into Best-Friend-san On the second, we laughed till her bed trembled On the third, she threw a tantrum when it was time for me to return home On the fourth, I wrapped both et used to

We hter, ave each other plenty of respect It shocked me - otherwise the eternal onlooker - how I had come to love the everyday we spent elementary schoolers; I wondered just what in the world had happened

I’ll say it for theinvolved with a person It was the first tiether with someone, and not once think that I wanted to be alone

While surely being theinvolved with a person, my teeks had been compacted into her ward They were only four days, but those four days made up the entirety of my teeks

Because they were only four days, the day of her discharge arrived right away

On the day she was to be discharged, I got up early in theI was fundamentally an early riser - I’d wake up early whether it was rain or shi+ne, no matter if I had any plans for the day or not Incidentally, the skies today were clear, and I did happen to have plans I opened the , and could alnant in

I washedrooave hiave etic all year round I’ve always found it strange that that sort of father could have had a child like me

My breakfast had already been set when I arrived at the dining table Thanking my mother for the food, I took my seat, and said “thanks for the food” onceinto some miso soup I was quite fond of the ,the kitchenware for now - sat down before an to drink from a cup of hot coffee

“Hey, you”

As of now, the only ones that called me “you” in such an unceremonious manner were my ot yourself a girlfriend huh”

“…………What?”

Just as this person saying first thing in the irl you like huh Whichever it is, bring her over next ti over”

“Hht this about, but perhaps it was just her parent’s intuition working Even if it had coeous conclusions

“So, it’s just a norht either

“It doesn’t matter whichever it is I’m happy that someone who looks at you properly has appeared for the first time”