Part 8 (2/2)

Egnatius, quod candidos habet dentes, Renidet usque quaque. sei ad rei ventumst Subsellium, c.u.m orator excitat fletum, Renidet ille. sei ad pii rogum fili Lugetur, orba c.u.m flet unic.u.m mater, 5 Renidet ille. quidquid est, ubic.u.mquest, Quodc.u.mque agit, renidet. hunc habet morb.u.m, Neque elegantem, ut arbitror, neque urbanum.

Quare monendum test mihi, bone Egnati.

Si urba.n.u.s esses aut Sabinus aut Tiburs 10 Aut fartus Vmber aut obesus Etruscus Aut Lanuinus ater atque dentatus Aut Transpada.n.u.s, ut meos quoque attingam, Aut quilubet, qui puriter lavit dentes, Tamen renidere usque quaque te nollem: 15 Nam risu inepto res ineptior nullast.

Nunc Celtiber es: Celtiberia in terra, Quod quisque minxit, hoc sibi solet mane Dentem atque russam defricare gingivam, Vt quo iste vester expolitior dens est, 20 Hoc te amplius bibisse praedicet loti.

x.x.xVIIII.

ON EGNATIUS OF THE WHITE TEETH.

Egnatius for that owns he teeth snow-white, Grins ever, everywhere. When placed a wight In dock, when pleader would draw tears, the while He grins. When pious son at funeral pile Mourns, or lone mother sobs for sole lost son, 5 He grins. Whate'er, whene'er, howe'er is done, Of deed he grins. Such be his malady, Nor kind, nor courteous--so beseemeth me-- Then take thou good Egnatius, rede of mine!

Wert thou corrupt Sabine or a Tiburtine, 10 Stuffed Umbrian or Tuscan overgrown Swarthy Lanuvian with his teeth-rows shown, Transpadan also, that mine own I touch, Or any was.h.i.+ng teeth to s.h.i.+ne o'er much, Yet thy incessant grin I would not see, 15 For naught than laughter silly sillier be.

Thou Celtiber art, in Celtiberia born, Where man who's urined therewith loves a-morn His teeth and ruddy gums to scour and score; So the more polisht are your teeth, the more 20 Argue they sipping stale in ampler store.

Egnatius, who has milk-white teeth, grins for ever and aye. An he be in court, when counsel excites tears, he grins. An he be at funeral pyre where one mourns a son devoted, where a bereft mother's tears stream for her only one, he grins. Whatever it may be, wherever he is, whate'er may happen, he grins. Such ill habit has he--neither in good taste, well a.s.sumed, nor refined. Wherefore do thou take note from me, my good Egnatius. Be thou refined Sabine or Tiburtine, paunch-full Umbrian or obese Tuscan, Lanuvian dusky and large-tusked, or Transpadine (to touch upon mine own folk also), or whom thou wilt of those who cleanly wash their teeth, still I'd wish thee not to grin for ever and aye; for than senseless giggling nothing is more senseless. Now thou'rt a Celtiberian! and in the Celtiberian land each wight who has urined is wont each morn to scrub with it his teeth and pinky gums, so that the higher the polish on thy teeth, the greater fund it notes that thou hast drunk of urine.

x.x.xX.

Quaenam te mala mens, miselle Ravide, Agit praecipitem in meos iambos?

Quis deus tibi non bene advocatus Vecordem parat excitare rixam?

An ut pervenias in ora vulgi? 5 Quid vis? qua lubet esse notus optas?

Eris, quandoquidem meos amores c.u.m longa voluisti amare poena.

x.x.xX.

THREATENING RAVIDUS WHO STOLE HIS MISTRESS.

What thought of folly Ravidus (poor churl!) Upon my iambs thus would headlong hurl?

What good or cunning counsellor would fain Urge thee to struggle in such strife insane?

Is't that the vulgar mouth thy name by rote? 5 What will'st thou? Wishest on any wise such note?

Then _shalt_ be noted since my love so lief For love thou sued'st to thy lasting grief.

What mind ill set, O sorry Ravidus, doth thrust thee rashly on to my iambics? What G.o.d, none advocate of good for thee, doth stir thee to a senseless contest? That thou may'st be in the people's mouth? What would'st thou? Dost wish to be famed, no matter in what way? So thou shalt be, since thou hast aspired to our loved one's love, but by our long-drawn vengeance.

x.x.xXI.

Ametina puella defututa Tota milia me decem poposcit, Ista turpiculo puella naso, Decoctoris amica Formiani.

Propinqui, quibus est puella curae, 5 Amicos medicosque convocate: Non est sana puella. nec rogate, Qualis sit: solet esse imaginosa.

x.x.xXI.

ON MAMURRA'S MISTRESS.

That Ametina, worn-out wh.o.r.e, Me for a myriad oft would bore, That strumpet of th' ign.o.ble nose, To leman, rakeh.e.l.l Formian chose.

An ye would guard her (kinsmen folk) 5 Your friends and leaches d'ye convoke: The girl's not sound-sens'd; ask ye naught Of her complaint: she's love-distraught.

Ametina, out-drained maiden, worries me for a whole ten thousand, that damsel with an outspread nose, _chere amie_ of Formia.n.u.s the wildling. Ye near of kin in whose care the maiden is, summon ye both friends and medicals: for the girl's not sane. Nor ask ye, in what way: she is subject to delusions.

x.x.xXII.

<script>