Part 9 (1/2)
Adeste, hendecasyllabi, quot estis Omnes undique, quotquot estis omnes.
Ioc.u.m me putat esse moecha turpis Et negat mihi nostra reddituram Pugillaria, si pati potestis. 5 Persequamur eam, et reflagitemus.
Quae sit, quaeritis. illa, quam videtis Turpe incedere, mimice ac moleste Ridentem catuli ore Gallicani.
Circ.u.msist.i.te eam, et reflagitate, 10 'Moecha putida, redde codicillos, Redde, putida moecha, codicillos.'
Non a.s.sis facis? o lutum, lupanar, Aut si perditius potest quid esse.
Sed non est tamen hoc satis putandum. 15 Quod si non aliud potest, ruborem Ferreo canis exprimamus ore.
Conclamate iterum altiore voce 'Moecha putida, redde codicillos, Redde, putida moecha, codicillos.' 20 Sed nil proficimus, nihil movetur.
Mutandast ratio modusque vobis, Siquid proficere amplius potestis, 'Pudica et proba, redde codicillos.'
x.x.xXII.
ON A STRUMPET WHO STOLE HIS TABLETS.
Come, Hendecasyllabics, many as may All hither, every one that of you be!
That fulsome harlot makes me laughing-stock And she refuses at our prayer restore Our stolen Note-books, an such slights ye bear. 5 Let us pursue her clamouring our demands.
”Who's she?” ye question: yonder one ye sight Mincingly pacing mime-like, perfect pest, With jaws wide grinning like a Gallic pup.
Stand all round her dunning with demands, 10 ”Return (O rotten wh.o.r.e!) our noting books.
Our noting books (O rotten wh.o.r.e!) return!”
No doit thou car'st? O Mire! O Stuff o' stews!
Or if aught fouler filthier dirt there be.
Yet must we never think these words suffice. 15 But if naught else avail, at least a blush Forth of that b.i.t.c.h-like brazen brow we'll squeeze.
Cry all together in a higher key ”Restore (O rotten wh.o.r.e!) our noting books, Our noting books (O rotten wh.o.r.e!) restore!” 20 Still naught avails us, nothing is she moved.
Now must our measures and our modes be changed An we would anywise our cause advance.
”Restore (chaste, honest Maid!) our noting books!”
Hither, all ye hendecasyllables, as many as may be, from every part, all of ye, as many soever as there be! A shameless prost.i.tute deems me fair sport, and denies return to me of our writing tablets, if ye are able to endure this. Let's after her, and claim them back. ”Who may she be,” ye ask? That one, whom ye see strutting awkwardly, stagily, and stiffly, and with a laugh on her mouth like a Gallic whelp. Throng round her, and claim them back. ”O putrid punk, hand back our writing tablets; hand back, O putrid punk, our writing tablets.” Not a jot dost heed? O Muck, Brothel-Sp.a.w.n, or e'en loathsomer if it is possible so to be! Yet think not yet that this is enough. For if naught else we can extort a blush on thy brazened b.i.t.c.h's face. We'll yell again in heightened tones, ”O putrid punk, hand back our writing tablets, hand back, O putrid punk, our writing tablets.” But naught we profit, naught she budges. Changed must your measure and your manner be, an you would further progress make--”O Virgin pure and spotless, hand back our writing tablets.”
x.x.xXIII.
Salve, nec minimo puella naso Nec bello pede nec nigris ocellis Nec longis digitis nec ore sicco Nec sane nimis elegante lingua, Decoctoris amica Formiani. 5 Ten provincia narrat esse bellam?
Tec.u.m Lesbia nostra conparatur?
O saeclum insapiens et infacetum!
x.x.xXIII.
TO MAMURRA'S MISTRESS.
Hail, girl who neither nose of minim size Owns, nor a pretty foot, nor jetty eyes, Nor thin long fingers, nor mouth dry of slaver Nor yet too graceful tongue of pleasant flavour, Leman to Formian that rake-a-h.e.l.l. 5 What, can the Province boast of thee as belle?
Thee with my Lesbia durst it make compare?
O Age insipid, of all humour bare!
Hail, O maiden with nose not of the tiniest, with foot lacking shape and eyes lacking darkness, with fingers scant of length, and mouth not dry and tongue scant enough of elegance, _chere amie_ of Formia.n.u.s the wildling.
And thee the province declares to be lovely? With thee our Lesbia is to be compared? O generation witless and unmannerly!
x.x.xXIIII.
O funde noster seu Sabine seu Tiburs, (Nam te esse Tiburtem autumant, quibus non est Cordi Catullum laedere: at quibus cordist, Quovis Sabinum pignore esse contendunt) Sed seu Sabine sive verius Tiburs, 5 Fui libenter in tua suburbana Villa malamque pectore expuli tussim, Non inmerenti quam mihi meus venter, Dum sumptuosas adpeto, dedit, cenas.
Nam, Sestia.n.u.s dum volo esse conviva, 10 Orationem in Antium pet.i.torem Plenam veneni et pestilentiae legi.
Hic me gravido frigida et frequens tussis Qua.s.savit usque dum in tuum sinum fugi Et me recuravi otioque et urtica. 15 Quare refectus maximas tibi grates Ago, meum quod non es ulta peccatum.