Part 31 (2/2)
I call Will and ask him. ”You just described half of the chicks there last night, man. I have no clue,” he replies.
”Did you see me? With a chick I mean?”
”No. You disappeared for a bit. Maybe you were with her then?”
”Did I? s.h.i.+t!”
Will's no help; I hang up and sink back onto the soft bed again. I run through the events I can remember after the TV show. A group who work on the programme took us to a bar. Then another. Memories flash in, of wandering the Red Light District and swapping bars for a coffee shop. Then nothing.
My chest constricts with fear that I did do something and f.u.c.ked things up with Tegan. In the past, I've slept with chicks and forgotten, finding them in my bed the next morning, but that was before her. I remember spending time throwing up in a bathroom; but no, I'm positive I didn't hook up. I wouldn't. The most that happened is I spent the time peeling girls off me who attempted to attach themselves.
My phone rings again. Will. ”Hey, man. So, I saw the picture. That chick was there, yeah. You left with her and a couple of her friends and staggered back a few minutes later. Said you'd put them in a taxi.”
My shoulders slump in relief. ”Why aren't the other girls in the picture?”
He snorts. ”Cropped out probably. Man, you have a lot to learn.”
”And did I touch the blonde, while she was with us?”
”I don't know about that. Kinda busy myself.”
s.h.i.+t. I don't even know the chick's name. Does she recognise herself in the pictures?
Will Tegan believe me?
After another failed attempt to contact Tegan, I doze on the bed, glad we're not due to fly out of Amsterdam until this evening. I'm unsure how long I've slept for when I'm woken by my phone. Tegan's name displays. Thank f.u.c.k for that.
”Hey.” I brace myself. This could go very badly.
”h.e.l.lo, Jaxon,” she says coldly. ”Anything you want to tell me? Or doesn't it matter now we're not a couple anymore?”
I sit and prop myself against the pillows. ”They got it wrong. I didn't say that.”
”I saw the video clip, Jax!”
”I misheard his question! I thought he said for the night, not in my life. I told him I didn't have a girl for the night like the twins obviously did. I meant I was waiting for you to come back when I said I was waiting for somebody special!” The words rush out with the fear Tegan might hang up before I can explain.
My admission silences her and I b.l.o.o.d.y hope she's processing the information. I've suffered the brunt of her temper in the past, her overreaction, which sent her back to Wales. Please be okay.
”Tegan. Believe me.”
”What about when he said you were single? You didn't exactly mention me at that point!” she snaps.
”What? Did you want me to talk about us on TV after all the c.r.a.p thrown at us recently?'
”No, it's just...” More silence. ”s.h.i.+t, Jax. This is screwed up.”
”And I was um... a bit worse for wear.”
”Stoned? Drunk? Both?”
”Both,” I mumble. ”I couldn't focus on what was happening properly.”
”And the rest of the evening? Can you remember that?”
I close my eyes and push my fingers against my forehead. This girl is p.i.s.sed off, but she's talking to me, which is one thing in my favour. ”A bit of a blur.”
”You're such a d.i.c.khead when you get drunk!” she retorts.
”Not denying that.” I wait for her to say more and wish I could gauge the emotion behind her silence. ”Do you believe me? Don't let my screw up ruin things. You know you're the somebody special I'm waiting for.”
”Possibly I'd believe you but - the girl in the picture?” Her icy tone remains.
”I wasn't alone with her, the photo was cropped. She had friends. I was taking them to a taxi.”
”Taking them to a taxi? Is that a euphemism?”
”Ha, ha. No. Tegan, I didn't do anything!” The next minute pa.s.ses in another silence and perspiration breaks out along the back of my neck. I'm furious with myself. I want to be the guy who makes her happy. ”Tegan? Why would I? I called you yesterday! I was thinking of you - missing you. I still f.u.c.king miss you.” Another silence. ”Tegan? Nothing happened.”
”I've spent the morning swinging between believing and not believing. Between p.i.s.sed off and wanting to throw up. This has messed with my head, Jax.”
”You know I'm photographed around girls all the time! We weren't touching - I don't even know her name. Ask Will or Nate.”
She snorts. ”Reliable witnesses.”
I lie back on the bed and look at the ceiling. ”Do you do believe me?”
”I don't know! I know the media like making stories out of you - us - but watching all this happen from over here is b.l.o.o.d.y hard.”
”Come back then.”
”I'm going to come back to the tour tomorrow, whatever I decide to do. I'm not giving up this experience for anybody! I b.l.o.o.d.y fought hard enough with Bryn to let me stay.”
My heart skips out of rhythm. ”Decide what to do?”
”About us. I can't believe what's happening to my life less than two weeks into a relations.h.i.+p with you. It's insane!” When Tegan's voice cracks, a leaden weight hits my stomach. She's hurting and I'm the reason.
”Things will calm down. That's why you went home, to wait.”
”Things won't calm down, will they?”
Neither of us speaks, knowing she's right. Is this my life now? A heavy realisation descends - Tegan might end what we have before we've really started.
”Don't make a decision until we've spoken face to face, when you can see I'm telling the truth,” I say.
”I said I will come back. I need to think and I need to talk to you.” Her small voice emphasises the distance between us, one I hope doesn't exist when she returns.
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