Part 31 (1/2)
”Question for the boys. Lieke wants to know if you have girlfriends,” the host says, turning back to his guests.
”Nah,” replies Nate.
”I see you've found ladies though,” the man says, pointing at Will and Nate.
I laugh to myself at the term 'lady' used on the girls next to them.
”Form an orderly queue, we'll try and get to you all,” says Nate and the look Ruby gives him would be lethal if it were as poisonous as the expression.
What a douche. I bet they're all high.
”And you, Jax?” asks the host. ”Do you have a girl in your life?”
My heart thumps as confusion crosses his face. ”Huh. No. n.o.body. Waiting for someone special.”
No.
I watch in disbelief as the host replies to the girl, but her English is good enough that she heard and understood his answer. With a squeal, she blows him a kiss and the camera pans back to Jax who throws the girl a smile and blows a kiss back.
”You heard it first, ladies! No girl for Jax!” the host calls out, with a grin.
For a moment Jax frowns, before he's distracted by new questions about the tour. The clip ends.
Under the link on the entertainment site is the headline. 'Jax Lewis and Tegan Hughes - it's over'.
Glutton for punishment, I replay the clip, studying Jax carefully. He's clearly drunk - or stoned - and dazed by his surroundings, but loving the reaction from the girls in the studio. I bristle at the smiles, waves, and at the twins' dumb remarks. I hope Ruby smacked one - or all - of them once they left the studio.
Jax's words echo: 'No. n.o.body'. He could've put the host straight, mentioned me, but he didn't.
Anger grips and I grab my phone, stab in Jax's number and wait. The phone rings out. I don't leave a voicemail and hang up instead. I bet this was b.l.o.o.d.y PR telling him to deny our relations.h.i.+p because the situation suits them.
Maybe it b.l.o.o.d.y suits him too. A night out in Amsterdam, no girlfriend to constrain him, Jax could easily forget and give in to his old ways. Several hours since we spoke and I'm forgotten about, his memories of me and our relations.h.i.+p drowned at the bottom of a beer gla.s.s.
I catch sight of the other pictures below the talk show footage. Jax having an awesome time in Amsterdam surrounded by girls. Sure, I've seen many pictures of Jax and girls since I arrived back in Wales, but trusted him. Now he's on tape as denying our relations.h.i.+p; that trust has gone.
For a few minutes, I sit numbed, disgusted with myself for falling for his spin.
I will not cry over him.
I change and head out for a long run, and switch off.
JAX.
I stare at the plate of toast and gla.s.s of orange juice, convincing my stomach that eating is the way to go here. Bile rises again and I swallow. My head aches as if somebody stomped on it last night. h.e.l.l, maybe they did, I don't remember past the first club after the TV appearance. To be honest, I barely remember my debut in front of TV cameras either.
I do remember the reason I don't drink and smoke weed at the same time. It makes me puke. I pick at the toast and slump down in my chair, closing my eyes. Nope. Can't touch this. Mid-afternoon, I can't stay in my hotel room anymore and have taken refuge in the quiet restaurant. No sign of Will or Nate, unsurprisingly. Last I remember was trying to figure out which twin was which - the girls and them.
”Jax, you d.i.c.k.” I snap my head up at Ruby's voice. She heads across the restaurant and pulls out a chair. ”Nicely done.”
Oh, s.h.i.+t. ”What? f.u.c.k.” I scramble for my phone and Google my name. What happened? I can't remember any girls or arrests last night. Before I have a chance to look, Ruby takes my phone and sets it on the table.
Why wouldn't Tegan answer the phone earlier?
”What did I do, Ruby?”
She taps her red-painted fingernails on the table. ”I knew you were off your face at the studio, but thought you'd remember. You told everybody you and Tegan were over.”
Ruby's words. .h.i.t my pounding head. ”What? No, I f.u.c.king didn't! When?”
”You did. Does Tegan know?”
”Know what? There's nothing to know! When did I say that?”
”Talk Show Guy asked if you had a girl and you told him no.”
I slump back in my seat and push the offending toast away. ”I did? I didn't. Why would I say that? He asked me about Tegan?”
I cycle through the foggy memories of the TV studio. We played 'My Kinda Disaster' - very suited to the evening - and sat on the sofa. Loads of chicks screamed at me. The host asked stupid questions.
Oh, s.h.i.+t. That question.
”No! He meant a hook-up like Will and Nate's, right? They were obviously gonna hook up with the girls. That's what he was asking me.” Ruby raises a plucked brow. ”Right?”
”If you say so.”
”f.u.c.k!” I stand. ”What exactly did I say?”
”He asked if there was a girl in your life and -”
I interrupt. ”No, he said 'girl for tonight', didn't he?” Ruby shakes her head. ”f.u.c.k! I meant no girl for me last night! I'm waiting for Tegan to come back from Wales - for somebody special! Her!”
”I'm sure she'd believe you if it wasn't for this.” Ruby pushes her phone across the table and I s.n.a.t.c.h it. On the screen is a grainy picture of me leaving a club with a girl, alone. Her face is obscured by long blonde hair.
”I don't f.u.c.king know who that is!” I slam the phone on the table. ”She definitely wasn't in my bed this morning! I swear!”
”Why didn't you mention Tegan to the host and put things straight?”
”I was out of it, Ruby. I had no idea what the f.u.c.k he was saying.”
”Yeah, that's obvious. You'd better speak to Tegan.”
I stand and grab my phone. ”I don't f.u.c.king believe this! Everything's twisted!”
I storm out of the restaurant and back to my room - a small voice telling me my life is safer there until this is sorted. Bryn's waiting for me to slip up; avoiding his fists is number two on my priority list. Contacting Tegan is number one.
Back in my room, I leave yet another voicemail for Tegan then lie on my bed. The bed that was most definitely free of groupies last night. s.h.i.+t, I had enough offers but I managed. I held onto the image of Tegan. Of us. At least I think I did. f.u.c.k my memory.
Who was the girl in the picture?