Part 7 (2/2)

In theatres 'tis the goose who does the ”booing,”

And though a man may do the best he can, sir, _Anser_ will hiss, though hissing may not answer!

REVISED VERSION OF SHAKSPEARE

”A POOR player, Who struts and frets his hour on the stage, And then--goes in society.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: A solo on the horn]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AFTER THE PERFORMANCE.--_Rupert the Reckless (Tompkins, a distinguished amateur from town)._ ”Now, I call it a beastly shame, Jenkins; you haven't ordered that brute of yours off my togs, and you know I can't go back to the inn like _this_.”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: SCENES FROM MR. PUNCH'S PANTOMIME. Scene I.--The Tragic Mews]

[Ill.u.s.tration: SCENES FROM MR. PUNCH'S PANTOMIME. Scene II.--The Comic Mews]

[Ill.u.s.tration: AMBIGUOUS.--_First Actress._ ”Oh, my dear, I'm feeling so chippy! I think I shall send down a doctor's certificate to-night, to say I can't act.” _Second Ditto._ ”Surely a certificate isn't necessary, dear?”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Tenor (at amateur concert)._ ”It's my turn next, and I'm so nervous I should like to run away. Would you mind accompanying me, Miss Brown?”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Mrs. Smith._ ”This is a very unpleasant piece, don't you think? There's certainly a great deal to be done yet in the way of elevating the stage.” _Mr. Jones (who hasn't been able to get a glimpse of the stage all the afternoon)._ ”Well--er--it would come to much the same thing if you ladies were to lower your hats!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: OUR THEATRICALS.--_The Countess._ ”Will this cruel war _never_ end? Day after day I watch and wait, straining every nerve to catch the sound of the trumpet that will tell me of my warrior's return.

But, hark! what is that I hear?”

[_Stage direction.--”Trumpet faintly heard in distance.” But we hadn't rehea.r.s.ed that, and didn't explain the situation quite clearly to the local cornet-player who helped us on the night._

[Ill.u.s.tration: Master Jackey having seen a ”professor” of posturing, has a private performance of his own in the nursery.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: _Mazeppa._ ”Again he urges on his wild career!!!”]

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