Part 7 (1/2)

[Ill.u.s.tration: Mellow drammer]

[Ill.u.s.tration: FIRST NIGHT OF AN UNAPPRECIATED MELODRAMA.--_He._ ”Are we alone?” _Voice from the Gallery._ ”No, guv'nor; but you will be to-morrow night.”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: THE COMMISSARIAT

_Our Bandmaster (to purveyor of refreshments)._ ”We must hev beef sangwitches, marm! Them ham ones make the men's lips that greasy, they can't blow!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A NOTE AND QUERY

_Wife (given to literature and the drama)._ ”George, what is the meaning of the expression, 'Go to!' you meet with so often in Shakspeare and the old dramatists?”

_Husband (not a reading man)._ ”'Don't know, I'm sure, dear, unless---- Well,--p'raps he was going to say----but thought it wouldn't sound proper!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: MR. PUNCH'S OPERA BOX]

[Ill.u.s.tration: SIC VOS NON VOBIS DRAMATISATIS, WRITERS!

_Wife of his Bosom (just home from the play)._ ”And then that _darling_ Walter Lisson, looking like a Greek G.o.d, drew his stiletto, and delivered, oh! _such_ an exquisite soliloquy over her tomb--all in blank verse--like heavenly music on the organ!”

_He._ ”Why, he's got a voice like a raven, and can no more deliver blank verse than he can fly.”

_She._ ”Ah, well--it was very beautiful, all the same--all about love and death, you know!”

_He._ ”Who wrote the piece, then?”

_She._ ”Who wrote the piece? Oh--er--well--his name's sure to be on the bill somewhere--at least I _suppose_ it is!”]

FROM OUR GENERAL THEATRICAL FUND.--Why would a good-natured dramatic critic be a valuable specimen in an anatomical museum? Because he takes to pieces easily.

MEM. BY A MANAGER

To say ”boo” to a goose requires some doing.