Part 6 (1/2)

[Ill.u.s.tration: IN THE STALLS

Time past--Crinoline era]

APPROPRIATE SHAKESPEARIAN MOTTO FOR A FIRM OF ADVERTISING AGENTS.--”Posters of the sea and land.”

QUID PRO QUO.--_Actor-Manager (to Dramatic Author)._ What I want is a one-part piece.

_Dramatic Author._ That's very easily arranged. You be number one, and ”part” to me.

[Ill.u.s.tration: IN THE STALLS

Time present--Fan development]

_Araminta._ Why, dearest, do you call those witticisms, which the comedians deliver with such ready humour, ”gags”?

_Corydon (the playwright)._ Because they always stifle the author.

[_Smiles no more during the evening._

THE MUMMER'S BeTE-NOIRE.--”_Benefits_ forgot.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: MITIGATING CIRc.u.mSTANCES

_Sangazur, Senior._ ”Look here, what's all this nonsense I hear about your wanting to marry an actress?”

_Sangazur, Junior._ ”It's quite true, sir. But--er--you can have no conception how _very poorly_ she acts!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A STUDIED INSULT.--_Box-Office Keeper at the Imperial Music-Hall (to Farmer Murphy, who is in town for the Islington Horse Show)._ ”Box or two stalls, sir?” _Murphy._ ”What the dev'l d'ye mane?

D'ye take me an' the missus for a pair o' proize 'osses? Oi'll have two sates in the dhress circle, and let 'em be as dhressy as possible, moind!”]

[Ill.u.s.tration: ”THE SLEEPING BEAUTY.”--”Nervous? oh dear no! I only acted _once_ in private theatricals, Mr. Jones, and, although it was an important part, I had nothing to say!” ”Really? What _was_ the part?”

”_Can't you guess?_”]