Part 3 (2/2)

Jade dropped her jaw and her gum fell out onto the table. ”You really have no idea, do you? Maddox has never looked at or treated a girl the way he has treated you! Sure, he has given girls the best o.r.g.a.s.ms of their life, but that's all it's been. h.e.l.l, he gave me an o.r.g.a.s.m by just staring at him. But I didn't think it was possible for Maddox to fall in love and even if it was, I didn't think I would see the day. It's like witnessing pigs fly or some bulls.h.i.+t like that.”

All I could do was laugh. ”Jade, you're crazy if you really think that.”

Sarah looked behind me and a smile crept onto her face. ”Well then, don't turn around.” As soon as she said that, it was inevitable that I turned around.

Come on people! When somebody tells you not to do something, you are going to do it!

Maddox and Gabe were walking over to us. Maddox had this huge s.h.i.+t-eating grin on his face and was carrying two cups of coffee and two m.u.f.fins. With just a few more strides he handed me a cup of coffee and my favorite m.u.f.fin: Blueberry.

”Hey sweetheart, I thought I'd walk with you to cla.s.s. You know, since we're in the same Creative Writing cla.s.s and all?” I was so happy to see him. At times it seemed like we couldn't get enough of one another. While taking a sip of my coffee I felt Maddox put his arm around me as he sat down and waited for me. I took another sip and then started to put everything in my bag.

I didn't even bother looking in Sarah and Jade's direction because I already knew the stupid a.s.s grins on their faces. We walked out of the cafe and Jade started walking back to her apartment. ”Alright, see you love birds later. Bye Sarah and Gabe.”

At that very moment Sarah interrupted, ”Well, would you look at that? I forgot that my cla.s.s was going to be held in the library today. Gabe, isn't your cla.s.s in the other direction as well? So we'll see you guys later.” Maddox smiled and waved. Meanwhile, I gave her the death glare.

Once Sarah and Gabe walked away Maddox asked me a question. ”So you want to explain what Jade was talking about?” He had a s.h.i.+t-eating grin on his face waiting to hear how I was going to get out of answering this question.

”I think you've known her longer than I have. The b.i.t.c.h is crazy, that's all.”

He started to laugh. ”You are very correct on that but Jade is one of those people who says what is really going on. She doesn't hide her or anybody else's feelings. She just kind of puts it out there and she's never been wrong before.”

Oh no, what was I supposed to say? Come on, how to steer clear of this conversation.

”Maybe this time she was wrong? n.o.body is right all the time.”

I looked over at Maddox and he'd lost that twinkle in his eye. His head fell and he said, ”Yeah, you're probably right. I guess.”

I felt like all the air had escaped my lungs. I didn't want to be right, but at the same time I was petrified and didn't know what was going on in his head so I'd just said the first thing that came to mind.

I guess my mom was right about something. I was stupid.

The rest of our walk to cla.s.s was silent and this time it was most definitely awkward.

The day just seemed to get worse and worse from that point on. Our Creative Writing professor a.s.signed a paper on the topic of love.. There was no word length requirement. It could be as short or as long as we wanted, as long as we got our point across...great!

Later that night, Maddox and I were both working on our papers for cla.s.s. We were sitting on the sofa eating pizza. Maddox got up and walked into the kitchen and grabbed two sodas. After making his way back to the couch he put his papers on the coffee table and got comfortable. ”So sweetheart, what do you think?”

I was halfway through writing my paper and decided to take a breather. ”About what?” I heard Maddox laughing as he handed me one of the sodas. ”What I should wear tomorrow. No silly, I mean about love. What do you think about it?”

I put my paper down and took a sip of soda. Maddox was staring at me, of course. Come to think of it he was always staring at me. It should bother me and make me feel uncomfortable but it made me feel like he was actually interested in what I had to say. More importantly, it made me feel like he cared about me.

I looked straight into his eyes and took a deep breath.

”I believe in love at first sight. Whether you are in middle school or middle aged. I believe in long walks on the beach, even though I have never been to a beach, and candle lit dinners. I believe in his and her towels and sharing the same toothbrush and razor. But I also believe that if I was lucky enough to find that I would run away scared to death and would later kick myself in the a.s.s for it because I lost it. But I also know that I'll never find love and I'm slowly beginning to accept that.”

I took a few breaths to calm myself. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I didn't realize until that moment that I'd needed to tell someone how I really felt. I have always just kept my thoughts to myself.

Under lock and key.

Hidden away from everyone. Sometimes even from myself.

Maddox broke me from my thoughts. ”Wait, you've never been to the beach?”

I looked at him like he was crazy. ”Are you serious right now? I just told you something really personal about myself and that's all you took from what I said?”

Shaking his head he said, ”No, I listened to everything you said and it broke my heart. But I'm just surprised that you've never been to the beach. I'll have to change that for you, among other things.”

His words made me smile. ”Thanks Madd. When?”

”Well, I was thinking over the summer. You know? So I could see you in a hot bikini.” And then the b.a.s.t.a.r.d winked at me which made me laugh.

”Ok enough about me. What about you Maddox? Have you ever been in love?” I thought I knew the answer to that question, but Maddox surprised me yet again. Without taking his eyes off me, he took a sip of soda and said, ”Yes.”

I wondered who it was. I remembered Sarah telling me all about Taylor and thought maybe it was her. Whoever the girl was, she was lucky. Not because it was Maddox, although that was a plus in and of itself, but because somebody actually loved her.

I tore my eyes away from Maddox and took another sip of my soda. I couldn't bear to see the look in his eyes when he talked about this girl because for a split second I wished that girl was me. ”What was she like?” He shrugged and took a couple of steady breaths. It seemed like it was a hard subject for him and I was getting ready to ask a different question when he opened his mouth.

”She's a spitfire and she has no idea how beautiful she is. It always looks like she has something on her mind. It seems like she has the world on her shoulders and I just wish that I could take away all of her pain. I know she's been through a lot in her life, but she never lets it get to her. I can tell that somebody has really beaten her down and broken her spirits. It just makes me want to beat the living s.h.i.+t out of that person for making her feel the way she does. While she's the smartest person I know, she can also be so blind because I thought I'd gotten my feelings across, but I'm either not trying hard enough or she just thinks very little of herself. I want to be the one who helps her. Takes care of her. I know we could be something really great. The only question is whether she's willing to take that leap of faith with me. I'm just waiting for her to open her eyes and see what's standing right in front of her.”

The whole time he was talking I was playing with a loose string on the end of my pillow. I could feel his eyes on me and I looked up and saw that I was right. He was looking at me with such sincerity. Like he was trying to send a message that only I could receive, but I didn't understand what it was.

The only thing I could think about was how I wished that girl was me, but n.o.body would ever love me the way Maddox described that girl on his mind. So I did what I do best and shrugged my shoulders.

”Ah, unrequited love? Well, all I can say is, that girl is really lucky and I hope that maybe someday I'm lucky enough to have somebody think that way about me. Maybe. And Maddox, sometimes we girls just need the guy to be straightforward with us. No games.” He let out a low laugh and then looked at me.

”Yeah, I guess you do.”

I felt like a topic change was in order, enough of sharing my feelings for one night. I also couldn't take the sad puppy dog look in Madd's eyes for much longer. ”Maddox, can I ask you a question?” He was now twiddling his thumbs and looking down at his lap. ”Yeah sweetheart, you know you can ask me anything.”

”I want a tattoo and I want you to design it for me. Will you do that?”

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me with a glimmer in his eyes. ”Yeah, I can do that. Is there something in particular you're looking for or do I get free rein?” That was the way I liked Maddox; happy and carefree.

”You have free rein but nothing stupid like a cheeseburger.” He started to ask me a question when I interrupted him and said, ”No, you cannot put your name on me.”

He started to laugh, ”d.a.m.n, how'd you know I wanted to make you mine?”

I knew Maddox was joking around but a little part of me wished that he was being serious. But that wasn't my reality. We sat for a few moments in silence and then Maddox grabbed his soda and finished it off. ”Alright well, I'm all done with my paper and now I have to design a pretty bad a.s.s tattoo for my girl. So I'll see you tomorrow.” He got up off the couch, bent down in front of me and kissed me on the forehead. ”Sweet dreams, sweetheart.” Then he walked into his bedroom, closed the door, and turned on the stereo.

I took a few minutes to let everything sink in. I took a few more sips of my soda and made my way back over to the fridge. I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine and then opened the freezer and pulled out a pint of cookie dough ice cream.

Yeah, nothing like eating some ice cream to mend my heart and drinking wine to help me forget about it. For now at least.

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