Part 13 (2/2)

He never said a word more about politics till after dinner. But on risin' up from the table he told me he had got to go to Jonesville to get the old mare shod. And I see sadly, as he stood to the lookin'-gla.s.s combin' out his few hairs, how every by-path his mind sot out on led up gradually to Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C. For as he stood there, and spoke of the mare's feet, he says,-

”The mare is good enough for Jonesville, Samantha. But when we get to Was.h.i.+ngton, we want sunthin' gayer, more stylish, to ride on. I calculate,” says he, pullin' up his collar, and pullin' down his vest,-”I lay out to dress gay, and act gay. I calculate to make a show for once in my life, and put on style. One thing I am bound on,-I shall drive tantrum.”

”How?” says I sternly.

”Why, I shall buy another mare, most probable some gay-colored one, and hitch it before the old white mare, and drive tantrum. You know, it is all the style. Mebby,” says he dreamily, ”I shall ride the drag. I s'pose that is fas.h.i.+onable. But I'll be hanged if I should think it would be easy ridin' unless you had the teeth down. Dog-carts are stylish, I hear; but our dog is so dumb lazy, you couldn't get him to go out of a walk. But tantrum I will drive.”

[Ill.u.s.tration: JOSIAH DRIVING TANTRUM.]

I groaned, and says, ”Yes, I hain't no doubt that anybody that sees you at Was.h.i.+ngton, will see tantrums, strange tantrums. But you hain't there yet.”

”No, but I most probable shall be ere long.”

He had actually begun to talk in high-flown, blank verse sort of a way.

”Ere long!” that wus somethin' new for Josiah Allen.

Alas! every thought of his heart wus tuned to that one political key. I mentioned to him that ”the bobbin to my sewin'-machine was broke, and asked him to get a new one of the agent at Jonesville.”

”Yes,” says he benignantly, ”I will tend to your machine; and speakin' of machines, that makes me think of another thing uncle Nate and I wus talkin' about.”

”Machine politics, I sha'n't favor 'em. What under the sun do they want machines to make politics with, when there is plenty of men willin', and more than willin', to make 'em? And it is as expensive agin. Machines cost so much. I tell you, they cost tarnation high.”

”I can understand you without swearin', Josiah Allen.”

”I hain't a swearin': 'tarnation' hain't swearin', nor never wuz. I shall use that word most likely in Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C.”

”Wall,” says I coldly, ”there will have to be some tea and sugar got.”

He did not demur. But, oh! how I see that immovible setness of his mind!

”Yes, I will get some. But won't it be handy, Samantha, to have free trade? I shall go for that strong. Why, I can tell you, it will come handy along in the winter when the hens don't lay, and we don't make b.u.t.ter to turn off-it will come dretful handy to jest hitch up the mare, and go to the store, and come home with a lot of groceries of all kinds, and some fresh meat mebby. And mebby some neckties of different colors.”

”Who would pay for 'em?” says I in a stern tone; for I didn't somehow like the idee.

”Why, the Government, of course.”

I shook my head 2 or 3 times back and forth. I couldn't seem to get the right sense of it. ”I can't understand it, Josiah. We heard a good deal about free trade, but I can't believe that is it.”

”Wall, it is, jest that. Free trade is one of the prerequisits of a senator. Why, what would a man want to be a senator for, if they couldn't make by it?”

”Don't you love your country, Josiah Allen?”

”Yes, I do: but I don't love her so well as I do myself; it hain't nateral I should.”

”Surely I read long ago,-was it in the English Reader?” says I dreamily, ”or where was it? But surely I have heard of such things as patriotism and honor, love of country, and love of the right.”

”Wall, I calculate I love my country jest as well as the next man; and,” says he firmly, ”I calculate I can make jest as much out of her, give me a chance. Why, I calculate to do jest as they all do. What is the use of startin' up, and bein' one by yourself?”

Says I, ”That is what Pilate thought, Josiah Allen.” Says I, ”The majority hain't always right.” Says I firmly, ”They hardly ever are.”

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