Part 16 (2/2)

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19, 1944

Dearest Darling, (That's the title of a movie with Dorit Kreysler, Ida Wust and Harald Paulsen!) What could be nicer than sitting before an open , enjoying nature, listening to the birds sing, feeling the sun on your cheeks and holding a darling boy in your arms? I feel so peaceful and safe with his ar to speak; how can this be bad when it does ain, not even by Mouschi

Yours, Anne M Frank

FRIDAY, APRIL 21,1944

My dearest Kitty, I stayed in bed yesterday with a sore throat, but since I was already bored the very first afternoon and didn't have a fever, I got up today My sore throat has nearly ”verschwunden” [ disappeared]

Yesterday, as you've probably already discovered, was our Fiihrer's fifty-fifth birthday Today is the eighteenth birthday of Her Royal Highness Princess Elizabeth of York The BBC reported that she hasn't yet been declared of age, though royal children usually are We've been wondering which prince they'll marry this beauty off to, but can't think of a suitable candidate; perhaps her sister, Princess Margaret Rose, can have Crown Prince Baudouin of Belgiu from one disaster to the next No sooner have the outside doors been reinforced than van Maaren rears his head again In all likelihood he's the one who stole the potato flour, and now he's trying to pin the blaain in an uproar Bep is beside herself with rage Perhaps Mr Kugler will finally have this shady character tailed

The appraiser frouilders for our chest; in our opinion, the other estiazine The Prince if they'll take one of my fairy tales, under a pseudonym, of course But up to now all , so I don't think I have

Yours, Anne M Frank

TUESDAY, APRIL 25, 1944

Dearest Kitty, For the last ten days Dussel hasn't been on speaking terms with Mr van Daan, and all because of the new security measures since the break-in One of these was that he's no longer allowed to go downstairs in the evenings Peter and Mr van Daan ht at nine-thirty, and after that no one ht at night or after eight in thewhen the lights go on in Mr Kugler's office, and they can no longer be propped open with a stick at night This lastHe claims that Mr van Daan bawled him out, but he has only himself to blame He says he'd rather live without food than without air, and that they siure out a way to keep the s open

”I'll have to speak to Mr Kugler about this,” he said to me

I replied that we never discussed roup

”Everything's always happening behind my back I'll have to talk to your father about that”

He's also not allowed to sit in Mr Kugler's office anyer of Keg's ht hear him if he happens to be next door Dussel promptly went and sat there anyway Mr van Daan was furious, and Father went downstairs to talk to Dussel, who came up with some flimsy excuse, but even Father didn't fall for it this tis with Dussel to a minimum because Dussel insulted him Not one of us knohat he said, but it must have been pretty awful

And to think that that miserable man has his birthday next week How can you celebrate your birthday when you've got the sulks, how can you accept gifts fro downhill rapidly For more than ten days he's had a temperature of almost a hundred and four The doctor said his condition is hopeless; they think the cancer has spread to his lungs The poor man, we'd so like to help him, but only God can help hi story called ”Blurry the Explorer,” which was a big hit with my three listeners

I still have a bad cold and have passed it on to Margot, as well as Mother and Father If only Peter doesn't get it He insisted on a kiss, and called me his El Dorado You can't call a person that, silly boy! But he's sweet anyway! Yours, Anne M Frank

THURSDAY, APRIL 27, 1944

Dearest Kitty, Mrs van D was in a badAll she did was coh drops and the agony of having to blow her nose all the ti, the invasion hadn't started, eren't allowed to look out the s, etc, etc We couldn't help but laugh at her, and it couldn't have been that bad, since she soon joined in

Our recipe for potato kugel, h a food overnment-issue flour and salt Grease a mold or ovenproof dish with paraffin or stearin and bake for 21/2 hours Serve with rotten strawberry coh!) At theEmperor Charles V, written by a professor at the University of Gottingen; he's spent forty years working on this book It took es I can't do any ure out just how long it's going to takethe second voluirl has to do in the course of a single day! Take e on Nelson's last battle frolish Then, I readPeter the Great, Charles XII, Augustus the Strong, Stanislaus Leczinsky, Mazeppa, von Gorz, Bran- denburg, Western Pomerania, Eastern Pomerania and Denmark, plus the usual dates Next, I wound up in Brazil, where I read about Bahia tobacco, the abundance of coffee, the one and a half million inhabitants of Rio de Janeiro, Pernambuco and Sao Paulo and, last but not least, the Aroes, mulattoes, mestizos, whites, the illiteracy rate-over 50 percent-and enealogical chart: John the Old, Williaht up to little Margriet Franciska (born in 1943 in Ottawa)

Twelve o'clock: I resu about deans, priests, ministers, popes and, it was one o'clock!

At two the poor child (ho hum) was back at work Old World and New World monkeys were next Kitty, tell me quickly, how many toes does a hippopotamus have?

Then came the Bible, Noah's Ark, Shem, Ham and japheth After that, Charles V Then, with Peter, Thack- eray's book about the colonel, in English A French test, and then a coh for today Adieu!

Yours, Anne M Frank FRIDAY, APRIL 28, 1944

Dearest Kitty, I've never forgottenof January) Even now I can still feel his cheek against low that made up for all the rest Once in a while I'd had the sa with this Peter, but never so intenselyuntil last night We were sitting on the divan, as usual, in each other's arms Suddenly the everyday Anne slipped away and the second Anne took her place The second Anne, who's never overconfident or aentle

I sat pressed against him and felt a wave of emotion come over me Tears rushed to my eyes; those froht trickled down my nose and into the air and landed beside the first Did he notice? He made no movement to show that he had Did he feel the same way I did? He hardly said a word Did he realize he had two Annes at his side? My questions went unanswered

At eight-thirty I stood up and went to the here ays say good-bye I was still tre, I was still Anne number two He came over to me, and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him on his left cheek I was about to kiss the other cheek when ether In a daze, we eain, never to stop, oh! Peter needs tenderness For the first tiirl; for the first tiest pests also have an inner self and a heart, and are transformed as soon as they're alone with you For the first tiiven himself and his friendshi+p to another person He's never had a friend before, boy or girl Noe've found each other I, for that matter, didn't know him either, had never had someone I could confide in, and it's led to this

The saht for me to yield so soon, for me to be so passionate, to be filled with as irl, allow o that far?

There's only one possible answer: ”I' time I's we act normally, in the afternoons too, except now and then But in the evenings the suppressed longing of the entire day, the happiness and the bliss of all the ti to the surface, and all we can think about is each other Every night, after our last kiss, I feel like running away and never looking hiain Away, far away into the darkness and alone!

And what awaits hts, questions and laughter I have to act nor

My heart is still too tender to be able to recover so quickly froentle Anne makes infrequent appearances, and she's not about to let herself be shoved out the door so soon after she's arrived Peter's reached a part of me that no one has ever reached before, except in my dream! He's taken hold of me and turned me inside out Doesn't everyone need a little quiet tiain? Oh, Peter, what have you done to me? What do you want from me?

Where will this lead? Oh, now I understand Bep No that I'h it myself, I understand her doubts; if I were older and he wanted to marry me, ould my answer be? Anne, be honest! You wouldn't be able to o Peter still has too little character, too little willpower, too little courage and strength He's still a child, emotionally no older than I am; all he wants is happiness and peace of mind Airl? A? I haveale ever has

I' ht with other boys later on? Oh, it's so hard, the eternal struggle between heart and mind There's a time and a place for both, but how can I be sure that I've chosen the right time?