Part 16 (1/2)

That night I really thought I was going to die I waited for the police and I was ready for death, like a soldier on a battlefield I'd gladly have given my life for my country But no that I've been spared, my first wish after the war is to become a Dutch citizen I love the Dutch, I love this country, I love the language, and I want to work here And even if I have to write to the Queen herself, I won't give up until I've reachedas I ae and have a better and truer sense of justice than Mother I knohat I want, I have a goal, I have opinions, a religion and love If only I can be myself, I'll be satisfied I know that I'reat deal of courage!

If God lets me live, I'll achieve o out into the world and work for e and happiness are needed first!

Yours, Anne M Frank

FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 1944

Dear Kitty, Everyone here is still very tense Pi in bed with a cold, gruarettes; Dussel, who's having to give upat everyone; etc, etc We see, and the faucet's stuck Thanks to our et these repaired

I'm occasionally sentimental, as you know, but from ti close together on a hard wooden crate a the junk and dust, our ar with a lock of s, when the trees are in bud, when the sun beckons and the sky is so blue-oh, that's when I wish for so ruhs and stifled complaints You'd think our lives had taken a sudden turn for the worse Honestly, things are only as bad as you ood exaet the better of our own moods!

Every day you hear, ”If only it were all over!”

Work, love, courage and hope, Make ood and help me cope!

I really believe, Kit, that I''s allto another, and sometimes I seriously doubt whether anyone will ever be interested in this drivel They'll probably call it ”The Musings of an Ugly Duckling” My diaries certainly won't be of much use to Mr Bolkestein or Mr Gerbrandy [ Gerrit Bolkestein was the Minister of Education and Pieter Gerbrandy was the Priovernment in exile in London See Anne's letter of March 29, 1944]

Yours, Anne M Frank

SAturdAY, APRIL 15, 1944

Dearest Kitty, ”There's just one bad thing after another When will it all end?” You can sure say that again Guess what's happened now? Peter forgot to unbolt the front door As a result, Mr Kugler and the warehouse e's, sot in that way The s in the Annex were open, and the Keg people saw that too What ler's furious We accuse hi to reinforce the doors, and then we do a stupid thing like this! Peter's extremely upset At the table, Mother said she felt an to cry We're equally to blame, since we usually ask him every day if he's unbolted the door, and so does Mr van Daan Maybe I can go comfort him later on I want to help him so much! Here are the latest news bulletins about life in the Secret Annex over the last feeeks: A week ago Saturday, Boche suddenly got sick He sat quite still and started drooling Miep immediately picked hi and brought hi-and-cat clinic Boche had soave hiave it to him a few times, but Boche soonhis sweetheart But now his nose is swollen and heto steal food and somebody smacked him Mouschi lost her voice for a few days Just e decided she had to be taken to the vet too, she started getting better

We now leave the atticopen a crack every night Peter and I often sit up there in the evening

Thanks to rubber cement and oil paint, our toilet ; could quickly be repaired The broken faucet has been replaced

Luckily, Mr Klei to see a specialist soon We can only hope he won't need an operation

This ht Tation books Unfortunately, for the next teeks beans have been substituted for oatroats Our latest delicacy is piccalilli If you're out of luck, all you get is a jar full of cucuetables are hard to come by There's only lettuce, lettuce and more lettuce Our ravy

The Russians are in possession ofbeyond Cassino We'll have to count on the Western Wall There have been a lot of unbelievably heavy air raids The Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages in The Hague was boistration cards

Enough for today

Yours, Anne M Frank

SUNDAY, APRIL 16, 1944

My dearest Kitty, Remember yesterday's date, since it was a red-letter day for ets her first kiss? Well then, it's no less iht cheek or Mr Woudstra on ht hand doesn't count How did I suddenly coht I was sitting with Peter on his divan and it wasn't long before he put an ar his overalls)”Why don t weainst the cupboard”

He moved so far over he was practically in the corner I slipped my arm under his and across his back, and he put his arulfed by him We've sat like this on other occasions, but never so close as ere last night He held ainst his chest; un to beat faster, but there was more to come He wasn't satisfied until my head lay on his shoulder, with his on top ofhe took my head in his hands and put it back next to his Oh, it was so wonderful I could hardly talk, my pleasure was too intense; he caressed my cheek and arm, a bit clumsily, and played with

I can't tell you, Kitty, the feeling that ran through me I was too happy for words, and I think he was too

At nine-thirty we stood up Peter put on his tennis shoes so he wouldn't , and I was standing next to hiht ave h my hair, half on my left cheek and half onso , just before eleven

Yours, Anne M Frank MONDAY, APRIL 17, 1944

Dearest Kitty, Do you think Father and Mother would approve of a girla seventeen-and- a-half-year-old boy? I doubt they would, but I have to trustin his arainstfor me But, and there is a but, will Peter want to leave it at that? I haven't forgotten his pro at a very young age Not even fifteen and already so independent-that's a little hard for other people to understand I'ot would never kiss a boy unless there was soe Neither Peter nor I has any such plans I'm also sure that Mother never touched a irlfriends or Jacque say if they knew I'd lain in Peter's arainst his chest, ainst ! But seriously, I don't think it's at all shocking; we're cooped up here, cut off from the world, anxious and fearful, especially lately Why should we stay apart e love each other? Why shouldn't we kiss each other in times like these? Why should ait until we've reached a suitable age? Why should we ask anybody's permission? I've decided to look out for my own interests He'd never want to hurt me or make me unhappy Why shouldn't I do what my heart tells , Kitty, that you can sense ainst all this sneaking around Do you think it's my duty to tell Father what I'm up to? Do you think our secret should be shared with a third person? Much of the beauty would be lost, but would itit up with him

Oh, yes, I still have so much I want to discuss with hi our thoughts with each other requires a great deal of trust, but we'll both be stronger because of it!

Yours, Anne M Frank

PS We were up at six yesterday , because the whole faain It hbors as the victim this time When we checked at seven o'clock, our doors were still shut tight, thank goodness!

TUESDAY, APRIL 18,1944

Dearest Kitty, Everything's fine here Last night the carpenter caain to put soh saying he definitely expects large-scale operations in Russia and Italy, as well as in the West, before May 20; the longer the war lasts, the harder it is to i liberated froot around to having the talk we've been postponing for the last ten days I told hi to discuss the ht the opening in a woman's body was siine that it was actually located between a wo ended with a ! I ht take my ”favorite quotes notebook” up with oin each other's ar, and I hope he feels the sa April is glorious, not too hot and not too cold, with occasional light showers Our chestnut tree is in leaf, and here and there you can already see a few small blossoms Bep presented us Saturday with four bouquets of flowers: three bouquets of daffodils, and one bouquet of grape hyacinths forus with ebra, Kitty Bye

Yours, Anne M Frank