Part 17 (1/2)
Yours, Anne M Frank
TUESDAY, MAY 2, 1944
Dearest Kitty, Saturday night I asked Peter whether he thinks I should tell Father about us After we'd discussed it, he said he thought I should I was glad; it shows he's sensible, and sensitive As soon as I caet some water While ere on the stairs, I said, ”Father, I'ether, we don't exactly sit at opposite ends of the roo?”
Father paused before answering: ”No, I don't think it's wrong But Anne, when you're living so close together, as we do, you have to be careful” He said some other words to that effect, and then ent upstairs
Sundayhe calledabout what you said” (Oh, oh, I kneas coht you were just friends Is Peter in love with you?” ”Of course not,” I answered
”Well, you know I understand both of you But you o upstairs so often, don't encourage him more than you can help In matters like these, it's always the man who takes the active role, and it's up to the wos are quite different You see other boys and girls, you can go outdoors, take part in sports and all kinds of activities But here, if you're together too et away, you can't You see each other every hour of the day-all the time, in fact Be careful, Anne, and don't take it too seriously! ”I don't, Father, but Peter's a decent boy, a nice boy”
”Yes, but he doesn't have th of character He can easily be influenced to do good, but also to do bad I hope for his sake that he stays good, because he's basically a good person”
We talked soreed that Father would speak to him too Sunday afternoon ere in the front attic, Peter asked, ”Have you talked to your Father yet, Anne?”
”Yes,” I replied, ”I'll tell you all about it He doesn't think it's wrong, but he says that here, where we're in such close quarters, it could lead to conflicts”
”We've already agreed not to quarrel, and I plan to keep my promise” ”Me too, Peter But Father didn't think ere serious, he thought ere just friends Do you think we still can be?”
”Yes, I do How about you?”
”Me too I also told Father that I trust you I do trust you, Peter, just as much as I do Father And I think you're worthy of my trust You are, aren't you?”
”I hope so” (He was very shy, and blushi+ng) ”I believe in you, Peter,” I continued ”I believe you have a good character and that you'll get ahead in this world”
After that we talked about other things Later I said, ”If we ever get out of here, I know you won't give ot all fired up ”That's not true, Anne Oh no, I won't let you even think that about me!”
Just then somebody called us
Father did talk to hiht our friendshi+p ht turn into love,” he said ”But I told him we'd keep ourselves under control”
Father wantsupstairs so often, but I don't want to Not just because I like being with Peter, but because I've said I trust him I do trust him, and I want to prove it to him, but I'll never be able to if I stay downstairs out of distrust
No, I'!
In the meanti at dinner he apologized in beautiful Dutch Mr van Daan was immediately reconciled Dusselhis speech
Sunday, his birthday, passed without incident We gave hiood wine froift after all) presented hie of razor blades, and Mr Kugler gave him a jar of lemon syrup (to make lemonade), Miep a book, Little Martin, and Bep a plant He treated everyone to an egg
Yours, Anne M Frank
WEDNESDAY, MAY 3, 1944
Dearest Kitty, First the weekly news! We're having a vacation fro, to report I' to believe that the invasion will come After all, they can't let the Russians do all the dirty work; actually, the Russians aren't doing anything at the moment either
Mr Kleiot a new set of springs for Peter's divan, so Peter will have to get to work reupholstering it; Not surprisingly, he isn't at all in the ht some flea powder for the cats
Have I told you that our Boche has disappeared? We haven't seen hide nor hair of her since last Thursday She's probably already in cat heaven, while some aniirl who can afford it will be wearing a cap made of Boche's fur Peter is heartbroken For the last teeks we've been eating lunch at eleven-thirty on Saturdays; in thetoetables are still very hard to come by This afternoon we had rotten boiled lettuce Ordinary lettuce, spinach and boiled let- tuce, that's all there is Add to that rotten potatoes, and you have a !
I hadn't had my period for more than two months, but it finally started last Sunday Despite the lad it hasn't deserted ine, we often say in despair, ”What's the point of the war? Why, oh, why can't people live together peacefully? Why all this destruction?”
The question is understandable, but up to now no one has co bigger and better airplanes and bo out new houses for reconstruction? Why are millions spent on the war each day, while not a penny is available for medical science, artists or the poor? Why do people have to starve whenaway in other parts of the world? Oh, why are people so crazy?
I don't believe the war is simply the work of politicians and capitalists Oh no, the couilty; otherwise, people and nations would have re- belled long ago! There's a destructive urge in people, the urge to rage, murder and kill And until all of huoes athat has been carefully built up, cultivated and groill be cut down and destroyed, only to start allover again!
I've often been down in the du as an interesting adventure, full of danger and ro addition to my diary I've irls, and not to beco here is a good beginning to an interesting life, and that's the reason-the only reason-why I have to laugh at the hu and have h a big adventure; I'ht in thebecause it's is: happiness, a cheerful disposition and strength Every day I feelnear, I feel the beauty of nature and the goodness of the people aroundadventure this is! With all that, why should I despair?
Yours, Anne M Frank
FRIDAY, MAY 5, 1944
Dear Kitty, Father's unhappy withupstairs every evening He won't have any of that ”Knutscherej” [ Necking] going on I can't stand that word Talking about it was bad enough-why does he have to ot gave ood advice
Here's more or less what I'd like to say: I think you expect an explanation froive you one You're disap- pointed in me, you expected more restraint from me, you no doubt want me to act the way a fourteen-year-old is supposed to But that's where you're wrong!
Since we've been here, froo, I haven't had an easy tiht, how unhappy and despondent I was, how lonely I felt, you'd understand o upstairs! I've now reached the point where I don't need the support of Mother or anyone else It didn't happen overnight I've struggled long and hard and shed h and refuse to believe me, but I don't care I know I'm an independent person, and I don't feel I need to account to you foryou this because I don't want you to think I's behind your back But there's only one person I' problems, everyone-and that includes you-closed their eyes and ears and didn't help ot were admonitions not to be so noisy I was noisy only to keepmiserable all the ti to listen to the voice insideon an act for the last year and a half, day in, day out I've never co of the kind, and nownow the battle is over I've won! I'm independent, in both body and ed froer person Now that it's over, now that I know the battle has been won, I want to go ht to me Don't think of me as a fourteen-year-old, since all these troubles have ret my actions, I'll behave the way I think I should!
Gentle persuasion won't keepupstairs You'll either have to forbid it, or trust h thick and thin Whatever you do, just leave me alone!
Yours, Anne M Frank
SAturdAY, MAY 6, 1944