Part 15 (1/2)
”I was born with them There's also one in my chin It's the only mark of beauty I possess”
”No, no, that's not true!”
”Yes it is I know I'm not beautiful I never have been and I never will be!” ”I don't agree I think you're pretty”
”I am not”
”I say you are, and you'll have to take my word for it” So of course I then said the same about him
Yours, Anne M Frank
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1944
Dearest Kitty, Mr Bolkestein, the Cabinet Minister, speaking on the Dutch broadcast from London, said that after the war a collection would bewith the war Of course, everyone pounced onit would be if I were to publish a novel about the Secret Annex The title alone would h, ten years after the war people would find it very a to read hoe lived, e ate and e talked about as Jews in hiding Although I tell you a great deal about our lives, you still know very little about us How frightened the wo air raids; last Sunday, for instance, when 350 British planes dropped 550 tons of borass in the wind Or howof thesedown to the last detail People have to stand in line to buy vegetables and all kinds of goods; doctors can't visit their patients, since their cars and bikes are stolen the laries and thefts are so cootten into the Dutch to ht- and elevenyear-olds, smash the s of people's homes and steal whatever they can lay their hands on People don't dare leave the house for even five minutes, since they're liable to coone Every day the newspapers are filled with reward notices for the return of stolen typewriters, Persian rugs, electric clocks, fabrics, etc The electric clocks on street corners are dismantled, public phones are stripped down to the last wire Morale ary; except for the ersatz coffee, a week's food ration doesn't last two days The invasion's long in co shi+pped off to Germany, the children are sick or undernourished, everyone's wearing worn-out clothes and run-down shoes A new sole costs 750 guil- ders on the black market Besides, few shoemakers will do repairs, or if they do, you have to wait four ht very well have disappeared in thehas coets worse and the decrees ainst the authorities are increasing The ration board, the police, the officials-they're all either helping their fellow citizens or denouncing the thee of Dutch people are on the wrong side
Yours, Anne
FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 1944
Dearest Kitty, Just iine, it's still fairly cold, and yet most people have been without coal for nearly a eneralgreat guns! I don't often write about the political situation, but I must tell you where the Russians are at the moment They've reached the Polish border and the Prut River in Romania They're close to Odessa, and they've surrounded Ternopol Every night we're expecting an extra co off soall day long Whether they like to pretend the fighting's nearby or they simply don't have any other way to express their joy, I don't know! Hungary has been occupied by Ger there; they too are doo here Today is Mr van Daan's birthday He received two packets of tobacco, one serving of coffee, which his wife had ler, sardines frone from us, lilacs, tulips and, last but not least, a cake with raspberry filling, slightly gluey because of the poor quality of the flour and the lack of butter, but deli- cious anyway
All that talk about Peter and ht Pretty nice of hiood friends We spend a lot of tiinable subject It's so nice not having to hold back e come to a delicate topic, the way I would with other boys For exa about blood and somehow the conversation turned to h to be able to withstand the loss of blood, and that I aotten better, much better God has not forsaken me, and He never will
Yours, Anne M Frank
SAturdAY, APRIL 1, 1944
My dearest Kitty, And yet everything is still so difficult You do knohat Isoits oeet time Does he still think of, that I can carryto a mother, but I'd love to lay my head on his shoulder and just sit there quietly I can't, I si was so good! Does he have the sa? Is he just too shy to say he loves me? Why does he want ot to stop, I've got to be calain, and if I'm patient, the rest will follow But-and this is the worst part-I seeo upstairs; he never comes to me But that's because of the rooms, and he understands why I object Oh, I'm sure he understands more than I think
Yours, Anne M Frank
MONDAY, APRIL 3, 1944
My dearest Kitty, Contrary toto write you a detailed description of the food situation, since it's become a matter of some difficulty and importance, not only here in the Annex, but in all of Holland, all of Europe and even beyond
In the twenty-one ood many ”food cycles”-you'll understand what that means in a moment A ”food cycle” is a period in which we have only one particular dish or type of vegetable to eat For a long ti but endive Endive with sand, endive without sand, endive with mashed potatoes, endive-and-mashed potato casserole Then it was spinach, followed by kohlrabi, salsify, cucumbers, tomatoes, sauerkraut, etc, etc
It's not much fun when you have to eat, say, sauer- kraut every day for lunch and dinner, but when you're hungry enough, you do a lot of things Noever, we're going through the etables at all
Our weekly lunch menu consists of brown beans, split-pea soup, potatoes with dureens or rotten carrots, and then it's back to brown beans Because of the bread shortage, we eat potatoes at everywith breakfast, but then we fry them a little To es of vege- table soup, packages of chicken soup and packages of bean soup There are brown beans in everything, including the bread For dinner ays have potatoes with iot it-beet salad I overnh that it feels as if you had rocks in your stoh point is our weekly slice of liverwurst, and the jam on our unbuttered bread But we're still alive, and ood too! Yours, Anne M Frank
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5, 1944
My dearest Kitty, For a long ti to do any schoolwork The end of the war still seemed so far away, so unreal, like a fairy tale If the war isn't over by Septeo back to school, since I don't want to be two years behind
Peter filled hts until Saturday night, when I felt so utterly miserable; oh, it ful I held back hed uproariously with the van Daans as we drank lemon punch and was cheerful and excited, but theto cry an by saying my prayers, very fervently Then I drew my knees to my chest, lay my head on my arms and cried, all huddled up on the bare floor A loud sob brought me back down to earth, and I choked back my tears, since I didn't want anyone next door to hearover and over, ”Iin such an unusual position, I fell back against the side of the bed and kept up le until just before ten-thirty, when I climbed back into bed It was over! And now it's really over I finally realized that I et on in life, to become a journalist, because that's what I want! I know I can write A few of ood, my descriptions of the Secret Annex are humorous, much of my diary is vivid and alive, butit remains to be seen whether I really have talent ”Eva's Drea is that I don't have the faintest idea where it caood, but as a whole it's nothing special I'ood and what isn't Unless you write yourself, you can't knoonderful it is; I always used to bemoan the fact that I couldn't draw, but now I'm overjoyed that at least I can write And if I don't have the talent to write books or newspaper articles, I can alrite for ine having to live like Mother, Mrs van Daan and all the wootten I need to have so besides a husband and children to devote myself to! I don't want to have lived in vain likeenjoyo on living even after iven ift, which I can use to develop myself and to express all that's inside me! When I write I can shake off all my cares My sor- row disappears,question, will I ever be able to write soreat, will I ever become a journalist or a writer?
I hope so, oh, I hope so very , all hts, ideals and fantasies
I haven't worked on ”Cady's Life” for ages In my mind I've worked out exactly what happens next, but the story doesn't seeht never finish it, and it'll wind up in the wastepaper basket or the stove That's a horrible thought, but then I say to e of fourteen and with so little experience, you can't write about philosophy” So onward and upward, with renewed spirits It'll all work out, because I'm determined to write!
Yours, Anne M Frank
THURSDAY, APRIL 6, 1944
Dearest Kitty, You asked me what my hobbies and interests are and I'd like to answer, but I'd better warn you, I have lots of the, but I don't really think of that as a hobby Nu in every newspaper, book and document I can find for the falish, Austrian, Russian, Norwegian and Dutch royal faress withnotes while reading biogra- I, phies or history books I even copy out es on history
So ht me numerous books I can hardly wait for the day when I'll be able to go to the public library and ferret out Iii the infory I have various books on this subject too I can name the nine Muses and the seven loves of Zeus I have the wives of Hercules, etc, etc, down pat
My other hobbies areand books I adore the history of the arts, especially when it concerns writers, poets and painters; eometry and arithmetic I enjoy all my other school subjects, but history's my favorite!
Yours, Anne M Frank
TUESDAY, APRIL 11, 1944
My dearest Kitty, My head's in a whirl, I really don't knohere to begin Thursday (the last ti was as usual Friday afternoon (Good Friday) we played Monopoly; Saturday afternoon too The days passed very quickly Around two o'clock on Saturday, heavy firing ii began- was quiet
Sunday afternoon Peter came to see me at four-thirty, at my invitation At five-fifteen ent to the Ii front attic, where we stayed until six There was a beautil ful Mozart concert on the radio from six to seven-fifteen; I especially enjoyed the Kleine Nachtmusik I can hardly bear to listen in the kitchen, since beautifulPeter couldn't take his balli, because the washtub was down in the office kitchen, filled with laundry The two of us went to the front attic together, and in order to be able to sit co the only cushi+on I could find incrate Since both the crate and the cushi+on were very narroere sitting quite close, leaning against two other crates; Mouschi kept us company, so eren't without a chaperon Suddenly, at a quarter to nine, Mr van Daan whistled and asked if we had Mr Dussel's cushi+on We jumped up and went downstairs willi the cushi+on, the cat and Mr van Daan This cushi+on was the source of ry because I'd taken the one he uses as a pillow, and he was afraid it ht be covered with fleas; he had the entire house in an uproar because of this one cushi+on In revenge, Peter and I stuck two hard brushes in his bed, but had to take theo sit in his rooh at this little intermezzo But our fun was short-lived At nine-thirty Peter knocked gently on the door and asked Father to colish sentence