Part 14 (2/2)

Now I'll have to tell hi!

Yours, Anne

FRIDAY, MARCH 24, 1944

Dear Kitty, I often go up to Peter's roo air You can get around to ful conversationsyour face It's cozy and snug sitting beside hi outside The van Daans and Dussel make the silliest remarks when I disappear into his room ”Annes zweite Heimat,” [ Anne's second hoentlehts out?” Peter has a presence of mind in the face of these so-called witticis with curiosity and si to ask e talk about, only she's secretly afraid I'd refuse to answer Peter says the grown-ups are just jealous because we're young and that we shouldn't take their obnoxious coet me, but that's aard too, because in spite of all his precautions his face turns bright red and he can hardly get the words out of his lad I don't blush; it must be extreot has to sit downstairs all by herself, while I' Peter's company But what can I do about it? I wouldn't mind it if she ca there like a lu

I've had to listen to countless remarks about our sudden friendshi+p I can't tell you how often the conversation at , should the war last another five years Do we take any notice of this parental chitchat? Hardly, since it's all so silly Haveonce? Apparently they have At any rate, they laugh at us e're serious, and they're serious e're joking

I don't knohat's going to happen next, or whether we'll run out of things to say But if it goes on like this, we'll eventually be able to be together without talking If only his parents would stop acting so strangely It's probably because they don't like seeing me so often; Peter and I certainly never tell the such intis

I'd like to ask Peter whether he knohat girls look like down there I don't think boys are as coirls You can easily see what boys look like in photographs or pictures of enitals, or whatever they're called, are hidden between their legs Peter has probably never seen a girl up close To tell you the truth, neither have I Boys are a lot easier How on earth would I go about describing a girl's parts? I can tell from what he said that he doesn't know exactly how it all fits together He was talking about the ”Muttermund,” [ cervix], but that's on the inside, where you can't see it Everything's pretty well arranged in us women Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn't realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn't see theht urine came out of the clitoris I asked Mother one time what that little bump was, and she said she didn't know She can really play duet back to the subject How on earth can you explain what it all looks like without any oes!

When you're standing up, all you see fros there are two soft, cushi+ony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside They separate when you sit down, and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside In the upper part, between the outer labia, there's a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister That's the clitoris Then coether in a kind of crease When they open up, you can see a fleshy little er than the top of my thumb The upper part has a couple of small holes in it, which is where the urine comes out The lower part looks as if it were just skin, and yet that's where the vagina is You can barely find it, because the folds of skin hide the opening The hole's so set in there,to get your index finger inside That's all there is, and yet it plays such an important role! Yours, Anne M Frank

SAturdAY, MARCH 25, 1944

Dearest Kitty, You never realize how ed quite drastically, everything about me is different: my opinions, ideas, critical outlook Inwardly, outwardly, nothing's the saed for the better I once told you that, after years of being adored, it was hard for rown-ups and rebukes But Father and Mother are largely to bla to put up with so much At home they wanted me to enjoy life, which was fine, but here they shouldn't have encouraged ree with theossip It was a long time before I discovered the score was fifty-fifty I no thatand old alike Father and Mother's biggestwith the van Daans is that they're never candid and friendly (adned) Above all, I want to keep the peace, and to neither quarrel nor gossip With Father and Margot that's not difficult, but it is with Mother, which is why I'ives me an occasional rap on the knuckles You can win Mr van Daan to your side by agreeing with hiand his corny jokes with a joke of your own Mrs van D can be won over by talking openly to her and ad She also frankly admits her faults, of which she has many I know all too well that she doesn't think as badly ofAnd that's siht to their faces what I think, even when it's not very flattering I want to be honest; I think it gets you further and also makes you feel better about yourself

Yesterday Mrs van D was talking about the rice we gave Mr Kleiive But at a certain point I think that enough is enough If he'd only take the trouble, Mr Kleiive away all our supplies? We need theree with you Mr Kleiet hold of a little rice, but he doesn't like having to worry about it It's not our place to criticize the people who are helping us We should give them whatever they need if we can possibly spare it One less plate of rice a on't make that much difference; we can always eat beans” Mrs van D didn't see it reed, she illing to back down, and that was an entirely different h Sometimes I knohat my place is and soet where I want to be! I knoill! Especially now that I have help, since Peter helps h patch and rainy day!

I honestly don't kno et as far as a kiss; in any case, I don't want to force the issue! I told Father I often go see Peter and asked if he approved, and of course he did!

It's s I'd nor- mally keep to myself; for example, I told him I want to write later on, and if I can't be a writer, to write in addition to my work

I don't have much in the way of ent or clever, but I'm happy, and I intend to stay that way! I was born happy, I love people, I have a trusting nature, and I'd like everyone else to be happy too

Your devoted friend, Anne M Frank An eht

(I wrote this a feeeks ago and it no longer holds true, but I included it because my poems are so few and far between)

MONDAY, MARCH 27, 1944

Dearest Kitty, At least one long chapter on our life in hiding should be about politics, but I've been avoiding the subject, since it interests me so little Today, however, I'll devote an entire letter to politics

Of course, there areto hear it frequently discussed in ti so h, swear,as they stew in their own juice But don't let thes worse The people who co us a lot of news that later proves to be untrue; however, up to now our radio has never lied Jan, Miep, Mr Kleio up and down in their political h Jan least of all

Here in the Annex the mood never varies The end- less debates over the invasion, air raids, speeches, etc, etc, are accompanied by countless exclamations such as ”Eempossible!, Urn Gottes Willen [ Oh, for heaven's sake] If they're just getting started no long is it going to last!, It's going splendidly, But, great!”

Optimists and pessimists-not to y, and as with everything else, they're all certain that they have a monopoly on the truth It annoys a certain lady that her spouse has such supreme faith in the British, and a certain husband attacks his wife because of her teasing and dispar- aging reoes froht; the funny part is that they never get tired of it I've discovered a trick, and the effect is overwhel the about politics

All it takes is a single question, a word or a sentence, and before you know it, the entire family is involved!

As if the Gerh, they've now added special air-raid announcements In a word, splendid But the other side of the coin is that the British Air Force is operating around the clock Not unlike the Ger out lies twenty-four hours a day!

So the radio is switched on every ht (if not earlier) and is listened to every hour until nine, ten or even eleven at night This is the best evidence yet that the adults have infinite patience, but also that their brains have turned to mush (some of them, I mean, since I wouldn't want to insult anyone) One broadcast, two at the h to last the entire day But no, those old nincompoopsnever mind, I've already said it all! ”Music While You Work,” the Dutch broadcast froet a turn and fInd a willing listener If the adults aren't eating or sleeping, they're clustered around the radio talking about eating, sleeping and politics Whew! It's getting to be a bore, and it's all I can do to keep froh with all the old folks around ht not be such a bad idea!

Here's a shi+ning example, a speech made by our beloved Winston Churchill Nine o'clock, Sunday evening The teapot, under its cozy, is on the table, and the guests enter the room

Dussel sits to the left of the radio, Mr van D in front of it and Peter to the side Mother is next to Mr van D, willi Mrs van D behind the in the last row and Pim at the table I realize this isn't a very clear description of our seating arrangements, but it doesn't matter The , Maee, Mrs van D is tre because of the planes, which take no notice of the speech but fly blithely on toward Essen, Father is slurping his tea, and Margot and I are united in a sisterly way by the sleeping Mouschi, who has taken possession of both our knees Margot's hair is in curlers and ht and too short It all looks so intimate, cozy and peaceful, and for once it really is Yet I await the end of the speech willi dread They're iu a oad each other into quarrels and dissent

Yours, Anne

TUESDAY, MARCH 28, 1944

My dearest Kitty, As much as I'd like to write more on politics, I have lots of other news to report today First, Mother has virtually forbiddento her, Mrs van Daan is jealous Second, Peter's invited Margot to join us upstairs Whether he reallyit out of politeness, I don't know Third, I asked Father if he thought I should take any notice of Mrs van Daan's jealousy and he said I didn't have to What should I do now? Mother's angry, doesn't wantmy homework in the room I share willi Dussel She e us those few hours and thinks it's nice we get along so well Margot likes Peter too, but feels that three people can't talk about the sas as two

Furthermore, Mother thinks Peter's in love with me To tell you the truth, I wish he were Then we'd be even, and it'd be a lot easier to get to know each other She also claiive each other the occasional wink But I can't help it if he keeps ad my dimples, can I?

I'ainst her Father turns a blind eye to the silent struggle between Mother and me Mother is sad, because she still loves erto ive him up He's so sweet and I admire him so much He and I could have a really beautiful relationshi+p, so why are the old folks poking their noses into our business again? Fortu- nately, I'e not to sho crazy I a to feel his cheek against mine, the way I felt Petel's cheek in my dream? Oh, Peter and Petel, you're one and the same! They don't understand us; they'd never understand that we're content just to sit beside each other and not say a word They have no idea of what draws us together! Oh, e overcoood that we have to surmount them, since it makes the end that much more beautiful When he lays his head on his arms and closes his eyes, he's still a child; when he plays with Mouschi or talks about her, he's loving; when he carries the potatoes or other heavy loads, he's strong; when he goes to watch the gunfire or walks through the dark house to look for burglars, he's brave; and when he's so aard and clu It'sto me than when I have to teach him I wish he were superior to me in nearly every way! What do we care about our twoFather always says I'm conceited, but I'm not, I'm merely vain! I haven't had many people tell me I was pretty, except for a boy at school who said I looked so cute when I smiled Yesterday Peter paid h idea of our conversation

Peter often says, ”Se, so yesterday I asked hiet dimples in your cheeks How do you do that?”