Part 13 (2/2)

This afternoon, for the first tiave us soathered around him; it looked exactly like a print: ”At Grandrateful audience with talk of-what else?-food Mrs P, a friend of Miep's, has been cooking his reen peas, yesterday he had the leftovers, today she's cookingtocarrots with potatoes

We asked about Miep's doctor

”Doctor?” said Jan ”What doctor? I called hiot his secretary on the line I asked for a flu prescription and was told I could coht and nine If you've got a particularly bad case of flu, the doctor hiue and say ”Aah” Oh, I can hear it, your throat's infected I'll write out a prescription and you can bring it to the phar- nosis by phone But I shouldn't blame the doctors” After all, a person has only two hands, and these days there're too many patients and too few doctors”

Still, we all had a good laugh at Jan's phone call I can just i rooer turn up their noses at the poorer patients, but at those withhere?” they think ”Go to the end of the line; real patients have priority!”

Yours, Anne

THURSDAY, MARCH 16, 1944

Dearest Kitty, The weather is gorgeous, indescribably beautiful; I'll be going up to the attic in a moment

I nohy I'm so much more restless than Peter He has his own room, where he can work, drea chased from one corner to another I' to be so e in the attic When I'm there, or with you, I can be myself, at least for a little while Still, I don't want to oodness the others notice nothing ofcooler and more contemptuous of Mother, less affectionate to Father and less willing to share a single thought with Margot; I'hter than a drum Above all, I have to maintain my air of confidence No one must know that my heart and mind are constantly at ith each other Up to now reason has alon the battle, but will et the upper hand? Sometimes I fear they will, but more often I actually hope they do!

Oh, it's so terribly hard not to talk to Peter about these things, but I know I have to let hi the dayti I've said and done in my dreams had never taken place! Kitty, Anne is crazy, but then these are crazy times and even crazier circu able to write down all s; otherwise, I'd absolutely suffocate I wonder what Peter thinks about all these things? I keep thinking I'll be able to talk to hi about the inner me, since he couldn't possibly love the outer Anne he's known so far! How could someone like Peter, who loves peace and quiet, possibly stand my bustle and noise? Will he be the first and only person to see what's beneath ? Isn't there so akin to pity? Isn't that what's happening here as well? Because I often pity him as in, I really don't, so how can I expect Peter to when talking is so much harder for him? If only I could write to hi to say, since it's so hard to say it out loud!

Yours, Anne M Frank

FRIDAY, MARCH 17, 1944

My dearest darling, Everything turned out all right after all; Bep just had a sore throat, not the flu, and Mr Kugler got a medical certificate to excuse hih of relief Everything's fine here! Except that Margot and I are rather tired of our parents

Don't get ot loves both Father and Mother, but when you're as old as we are, you want to et out froo upstairs, they ask what I' to do, they won't let ht-fifteen if it isn't tihty, I and they have to approve every book I read I must admit, they're not at all strict about that and let ot and I are sick and tired of having to listen to their co else that displeases the, noon and night All those cute nickna about farting and going to the bathroo better than to do without their company for a while, and they don't understand that Not that Margot and I have ever said any of this to them What would be the point? They wouldn't understand anyway

Margot said last night, ”What really bothers me is that if you happen to put your head in your hands and sigh once or twice, they immediately ask whether you have a headache or don't feel well”

For both of us, it's been quite a blow to suddenly realize that very little remains of the close and harmoni- ous family we used to have at ho's out of kilter here By that I mean that we're treated like children when it comes to external irls our age Even though I'ht and who's wrong, I have h it er, I feel I'm more of a person than a child-I feel I'm co or carrying on a discussion than Mother, I know I'erate as much, I'm much tidier and better with h) that I'm superior to her in many ways To love someone, I have to admire and respect the person, but I feel neither respect nor adht if only I had Peter, since I admire him in many ways He's so decent and clever!

Yours, Anne M Frank

SAturdAY, MARCH 18, 1944

Dearest Kitty, I've told yousoul, so why shouldn't that include sex?

Parents, and people in general, are very peculiar when it cohters everything at the age of twelve, they send the children out of the room the mo on their own Later on, when parents notice that their children have, somehow, come by their information, they assume they know more (or less) than they actually do So why don't they try tothe block for the adults-though in my opinion it's no more than a pebble-is that they're afraid their children will no longer look upon e as sacred and pure once they realize that, in most cases, this purity is a lot of nonsense As far as I' a little experience to a e itself, does it?

Soon after I turned eleven, they told me about menstruation But even then, I had no idea where the blood came from or what it was for When I elve and a half, I learned sonorant as I was My own intuition told ether; it seemed like a crazy idea at first, but when Jacque confirured it out!

It was also Jacque who told me that children didn't come out of their o in is where the finished product comes out!” Jacque and I found out about the hymen, and quite a few other details, from a book on sex education I also knew that you could keep fro children, but how that worked inside your body remained a mystery When I came here, Father told me about prostitutes, etc, but all in all there are still unanswered questions

If , they hear it in bits and pieces, and that can't be right

Even though it's Saturday, I'm not bored! That's because I've been up in the attic with Peter I sat there drea with my eyes closed, and it onderful

Yours, Anne M Frank

SUNDAY, MARCH 19, 1944

Dearest Kitty, Yesterday was a very i was as usual At five I put on the potatoes, and Mother gave e to take to Peter I didn't want to at first, but I finally went He wouldn't accept the sausage, and I had the dreadful feel- ing it was still because of that argument we'd had about distrust Suddenly I couldn't bear it a er and my eyes filled with tears Without another word, I re- turned the platter to Mother and went to the bathroos out with Peter Before dinner the four of us were helping hi But as ere sitting down to eat, I whispered to hiht, Peter?”

”No,” was his reply

”I'd like to talk to you later on”

He agreed

After the dishes were done, I went to his rooe because of our last quar- rel Luckily, that wasn't the reason; he just thought it was bad er It had been very hot downstairs anddown soet a little fresh air For the sake of appearances, I first went and stood beside the van Daans'before going to Peter's roo on the left side of the open , so I went over to the right side It's much easier to talk next to an openin seht, and I think Peter felt the same way We told each other so ood; it was the ive you a brief description of the various subjects we touched on

First we talked about the quarrels and how I see theht these days, and then about hoe've become alienated froot and ood-night kiss, don't you?”

”One? Dozens of them You don't, do you?”

”No, I've never really kissed anyone”

”Not even on your birthday?”

”Yeah, on my birthday I have”