Part 15 (1/2)

'I've had time enough to think about it,' Lucy answered softly. 'Either I will miss Martin desperately and try to get him back, or I might discover that he's just a part of the life I once had, and there is no place for him in the life I mean to make. Either way, I'll know soon enough.' From somewhere deep inside, Lucy realised, she had found a strength she never knew she had.

She felt suddenly rebellious. 'Come to think of it, why should I change anyway? This is who I am. What you see is what you get, and if it isn't enough for Martin, then let him have his fancy piece, and good luck to them both.'

'You don't really mean that, do you, Lucy?' Kathleen was surprised. She thought Lucy would have done almost anything to get back the man she loved.

'Having a new dress, fancy hairdo and bold make-up would have been a real experience, and thank you for suggesting it,' Lucy answered, 'but I won't do it ... not for a man who has no need of me any more.'

'I think the wine's gone to your head,' Kathleen remarked, 'but you're right. Men, eh? Sod the lot of 'em!' She replenished their gla.s.ses, and again the two of them toasted their independence.

'So, where might you be off to?' Kathleen was curious.

'I'm not sure. I'm not an experienced traveller. I thought of sticking a pin in the map and heading wherever it pointed, but then I realised that would be plain foolish. So I've decided to just go down to the station and see where the trains are going. I might head for the coast. That way I've got more chance of finding temporary work, if I decide to stay. I just need enough money to carry me through until I find a well-paid regular job.' She sheepishly admitted, 'I hadn't really made any detailed plans. At first, it was just about getting right away from here.'

She sank back into the chair. 'That's me all over,' she went on. 'Full of ideas, but no proper plan. When Paula wants something, she just goes out and does it. Unlike me, the pitiful ditherer.'

'You've got to stop putting yourself down, Lucy. You should give yourself credit.' Rather than reprimand her, Kathleen gently reminded her, 'You've had two crippling blows lately. Just one of them would be enough to floor some people, but not you! You've stood strong throughout. As always, you've been there for the family, and in spite of what Martin and Paula have done to you, you've taken it all on the chin. You haven't buckled under, nor have you given them the satisfaction of knowing how deeply they've hurt you. Instead, you've made the very difficult decision of moving away to rebuild a broken life. Tell me this, Lucy Lovejoy, how many other women including your sister would have the strength and resolve to do that?'

Lucy had no answer. But suddenly she felt proud, and with the pride, and too much wine, came the tears. 'Thank you. Somehow you make me feel strong. You really are my bestest friend.'

Kathleen raised her gla.s.s in another toast. 'To you, dear Lucy. And I am very proud to be your ”bestest” friend.'

The two of them almost leaped out of their skins when the telephone rang. 'Jeeze!' Scrambling out of the chair, Katheen hobbled to the hallway, where she picked up the telephone. 'Who is it?' A pause, then, 'Oh, Anne. Hang on a minute, I'll get her.' She hurried back into the sitting room. 'It's Anne. She's worried that you didn't call her.'

'Oh, crikey!' Getting out of the chair, Lucy instinctively sc.r.a.ped her hands over her hair and nervously patted her clothes down.

When she picked up the telephone, Anne immediately asked, 'Mum! Are you all right? It sounds to me like you've got a cold coming on.'

Lucy pounced on that idea. 'You might be right,' she said, giving another little cough. 'I'll be all right, though. Kathleen's made a kind of toddy for me ... hot water and red wine ... it seems to be doing the trick.'

Anne laughed. 'Is it now? Well, just make sure you don't drink too much of it, or you might keel over. You know you're not used to wine.'

'I do know that, and I am being careful.'

Smiling to herself at the other end of the line, Anne changed the subject. 'I'm calling you because you didn't call me, so now I know why, don't I?'

'Do you?'

'Yes, and I'm glad that Kathleen is looking after you ... even if she is plying you with booze.'

'Hey! Behave yourself. I can look after myself, thank you.'

'I know you can. Anyway, how long do you plan to stay there? I've already said you can come here and stay with me for as long as you like.'

'I know that, sweetheart, and it's a lovely idea, but not just now, eh? I really do need some time away.'

'Dad's missing you. Why didn't you tell him where you were going? He came round here, looking for you. He was worried.'

Lucy had to think quickly. 'Oh! Sorry ... I thought I told him, sweetheart, but you know what he's like. All he can think of is football, work and darts. Most of the time, he turns a deaf ear.'

'To tell you the truth, I thought he was upset. I reckon you two have had a row, haven't you?'

'No! Well, not exactly a row, but we did have words ... about something and nothing.'

'What does that mean?'

'Exactly what it says. I can't remember, it was so trivial. I'm sure you and Les have words and then later, you can't even recall what it was all about.'

'But Dad's really missing you, Mum. He seemed on edge to me.'

'Did you tell him where I was?'

'Yes. You didn't say not to, did you? He was just a bit worried about you. Are you cross with me? Was I supposed to keep it a secret?'

'No! Of course not. Stop fretting. I'll call him.'

'All right, Mum, but if you need to get away from everything, just tell him that. Tell him you need some quiet time to yourself. I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, it'll do him good to look after himself for a few days ... or however long it takes. I'm more worried about you, though. We all know how devastated you are by losing Grandma and Granddad. But you never show it. You never think about yourself. You're always too busy looking after everybody else. So now, like I say, you need some quiet time. Kathleen is a really good friend she'll help you come to terms with everything, I know she will. And remember, if you need any one of us, all you have to do is call.'

'Thank you, sweetheart.'

'Love you, Mum.'

'Love you too. Give Luke a big hug for me, and if Sam rings you don't worry him. All he needs to know is that I'm staying with Kathleen for a while, and that everything is fine. Just tell him that, will you?'

'I will.'

Just then the baby started crying. 'Got to go, Mum ... 'bye.'

After Anne had gone, Lucy stood a moment, absent-mindedly tapping the end of the receiver on her lips. Her head was spinning with all manner of thoughts. Something Anne had said had her wondering. Why had Martin not told Anne about Paula, and what the two of them had been up to? And why had he gone round there in the first place? Looking for her, Anne said. So, did that mean he had decided he'd rather have her back than be with Paula?

Mmm! It's very strange that he should go looking for me; unless he was worried that I had told Anne what he and her aunt Paula had been up to, Lucy thought.

She smiled wickedly. 'I don't suppose he was looking for me at all. In fact, he probably doesn't give a monkey's where I am! He just went round to make sure Anne knew nothing of what was going on. All he cares about is covering his own back. Well, it's too late now, Martin, she decided, carefully replacing the receiver. You made your choice, and now you must live with it. Oh, but I would love to know what's happened. Has she dumped you? Is that it? Yeah ... Paula's dumped you and now, in your arrogance, you think I'll come running, don't you? Well, you can go to h.e.l.l. It might surprise you, but I am not in the market for Paula's cast-offs. You've made your bed and you must lie on it!

After a moment of reflection, she returned to the sitting room, trying very hard not to smile.

'Everything all right, is it?' Obviously, Kathleen had caught the gist of Lucy's conversation with her daughter.

'That was Anne, checking up on me.'

'Well, that's good, isn't it?'

'I told her I was staying with you, that I wanted some time away. Anne said she fully understands and that I should take as long as I need.'

'Anne is a very sensible young woman. She obviously has your best interests at heart.'

Lucy explained the phone call. 'She said her dad came round, and that he wanted to know where I was.'