Part 117 (2/2)
”Here,as you wish” He indicated the cha with embroidered throws, the enormous bed enveloped in fil that, for I ,” I said I reached up and touched his sh, and now found it as familiar a friend as he himself ”But you need not, if you do not wish to I can attend to it”
”I know that” He had turned out to be that rarest of things, a cherished friend as also the best person for a high position ”But I will be there, you know I do not shi+rk” I turned toward the bed ”You have provided soonly to sleep” My eye had caught the piles of scrolls, the paintings, the game boards of inlaid ebony, the uest
”I can send a singer in to lull you to sleep,” he said ”I have a very fine one, from Lycia--”
”No Silence will be sweeter,” I assured him I waited a moment ”I went to Alexander's tomb today,” I finally said ”Do you reht I was hogging hih
”Mardian, it was different today He wasn't different, but I was, the world was--never go back there!”
”Well, I haven't been in many years You kno it is--when you live live sohts, except when you're a child and get taken there I daresay--” sohts, except when you're a child and get taken there I daresay--”
”No, I ” I wanted to explain it to hihtened of anything, as long as I've known you,” he said stoutly ”And now you say a tomb has unnerved you?”
”No, not the tos” It was more difficult to put into words than I expected ”Don't return there, I beg you”
He shrugged ”I was not planning to” His hand swept around the room ”Now, here, I have provided pillows stuffed with the down from baby swans' necks ”
I lay on the bed,swans--my view of the chamber misted by the thin blue silk curtains drawn around the bed How secure I felt here, how protected by the layers and layers of luxury Perhaps that hat they were for, to cushi+on Mardian against the outside world Perhaps that is all ainst the world, sh texture for us
To have a friend like Mardian at a ti balm I, like Antony, needed a restorative place of withdrawal, but I would not linger here Just for tonight just for tonightDear Mardian He never failed me
The shadows thrown by the three suspended oil lamps made patterns on the walls, and it was easy to see people in them, profiles, stories The shadesthe shades of Hadeshow alive were they, what did they remember, what did they feel? I would soon know Even to be a shadow on a wall, like these, was better than to be nothing I did not want to be extinguished, did not want to die Thinking about it so carefully ahead of time made it worse, but to be struck down suddenly was no better As hts, like flowers bedecking a tomb To be robbed of that opportunity is to die like a beast Stillthe beasts do not poison their last hours with hts, so which is preferable?
Sleep was now lapping aroundday was finally ending Antony My children There was still so much to be done But that was toht, the wind rose and pushed past the fastened s, stealing even into the corners and warmth of the bed A winter stor the sound of waves stirred to ain a prisoner of the water I sat up, brushi+ng aside the the curtains and letting the cold touch my skin
The water The water That sound, the sa that had surrounded me at all the crucial times of my life The Alexandrian harbor, the muffled boat ride west to Caesar, the journeys to Tarsus and Antioch, and then Actiu points, all somehow connected ater, with boats Howto decide my future? There was the boat on which I planned to send Caesarion to India, the last-stand battle against Octavian in the harbor, a riverboat to take my story south to Philae and Meroeand possibly a boat to flee to safety, with Antony More boats More water But there was one boat I would never board: a boat to Rome, as a prisoner No, rather than board that boat, I would be on the one ferried by Charon, across the river Styx
Fate by water Death by water How odd, for the Queen of Egypt, a desert country, to have her destiny decided, over and over again, by water
I told the children that Antony was in Alexandria, but was ”unwell”--a truthful enough statement I had been told where he had located himself, in a small house on the west side of the harbor, and I knew that frohts of the palace, could see the royal harbor with the gilded shi+ps riding at anchor He apparently shuffled around during the day, keeping to hi hours at the , staring out to sea He kept his sword always about hi if a sad-faced servant would approach the palace, saying, I bear sad tidingsI bear sad tidings
His sarcophagus stood ready in the ranite, it matched mine That is less portentous than it sounds, forfor years More i pile of treasure heaped in the largest chae area had been smeared with pitch and carpeted with tinder, and on that a pyramid of cinnamon, pearls, lapis, and eots, and ebony bars I had carefully overseen it,sure that the treasures were ordered in such a way that the greatest number could be packed into the smallest space They would burn, burst, melt, once the pitch was torched, and Octavian would be deprived of ain for Caesarion's throne, and, failing that, for the joy of seeing it elude Octavian's grasping hands It was not all of ive Octavian pause Only a madman would not try to prevent its loss And Octavian was no ain concessions, one has to have soain with It never failed to arasp this simple fact They rely on senti but ht Weil, we had lost the force at Actium, but we still cohter!” I ordered the work the pearls into bejeweled sacks and stacking the sacks onto the pyra in the desert ”We want as many as possible!” This depleted almost my entire store of pearls: the prize ones from the Red Sea, the small ones from Britain, the oddly swollen and outsized ones from the seas beyond even India They were vulnerable to heat, and would explode in a fire, sending slivers of iridescence all over the room Once before I had invested ypt--I ser with Antony--and now they would serve again
”Good!” I rubbedin this projected, profligate destruction Sorand ”And the e lower in the pile
”Oh, we need more than that!” I said Was that all? ”Perhaps you will have to add turquoise to theether Earth and sky Are we iht? Was I becoh wind ofsuch ht in this? It wasof Octavian Destruction, sacrifice, extravagant offerings to the Gods ould doo brew
”Yes, add the turquoise!” I said ”And if that is not enough, put lapis in as well” Lapis, with its glistening gold veins, its royal huenever would it bedeck the First Citizen, Princeps, Princeps, Octavian, to h, shrill laughter: mine The workers bent and unloaded their precious burdens, a solereat nest of treasure Octavian, to h, shrill laughter: mine The workers bent and unloaded their precious burdens, a solereat nest of treasure
”Octavian has landed in our part of the world” The nee had waited for--here at last
Mardian, a rustle of red, handed me the dispatch
I read it carefully He had left Rome at the very earliest opportunity, and sailed back to Samos ”He does not disappoint,” I said
Mardian nodded ”Never”
”From here on I fear he will be quite predictable in hisslowly--festina lente, hasten slowly--through Syria, then Judaea, then to the eastern gates of Egypt ”We are the ones who must be unpredictable” Let him not count on an easy victory, nor on no surprises There was the Egyptian fleet, there were four Roions here, and there was the treasure-pile in the rown e Octavian himself had been the last time I had seen him Would he reot anything
”More of the client kings have gathered to kiss his hand,” said Mardian
”I did not think there were any left!” I said, fighting hard to keep ht and free of bitterness ”Who else could there be?”
”Yes, you are right, s have already bent the knee Now it's mostly small territories, or cities, like Tarsus--”
Not Tarsus! Not the place where I had gone to Antony, where we had first loved--trampled under Octavian's heel, soiled! It hurt like a swift blow in the stomach
”Antioch, too, I suppose,” I said He would besmirch both places
”Not yet,” said Mardian
”Then I will have a little while to remember it as it was,” I said ”Is there no one left loyal to us?” I could not help this cry
”Indeed, yes,” Mardian replied ”And froladiators at Cyzicus in Bithynia, that Antony was having trained to perforovernor there and set out for Egypt, to fight for us”
So there were still so
Next Octavian went to Rhodes, where Herod cania Herod, who always had a winning ords, said that he had been stalwartly loyal to Antony, and that if Octavian would accept his vow of fealty, he would be equally loyal to him Octavian accepted, but most likely because he had no one to put in Herod's place, since Herod had taken the precaution of executing his only possible rival Along with Herod had co his tail and sobring on Octavian's hand It was Alexas, once a friend of Antony's, who him to remain loyal Instead they had both run to Octavian I was most pleased when I heard that Octavian had executed Alexas He felt that Alexas had urged Antony to ivable
That meant--as if I had not known it--that Octavian would pour every drop of his acid hatred onto my head For if the bystander Alexas had had to be executed for his part in the divorce, what must become of the woman who had caused it all?
”Put theold sheet and lined with ten layers of tissue-thin silk, in every color: a rainbow in a box The outerhter and lighter, until the final one was shi+old diade one in their graceful hands, set thely at them They remembered when I had worn them, at the Donations