Part 2 (2/2)

In two or three days after, he goes to make a Visit to the Goldsmith's Wife; and it fell out in such a lucky minute, that her Husband was from home; whereby he had an opportunity with the more freedom to renew his Suit; and tho' he arm'd himself with all the Charms he cou'd, taking the Auxiliary helps both of the _Tayler_, _Barber_, and _Perfumer_; yet it all wou'd not do: Fain he'd ha'd sav'd running the hazard of his fifty Guineas; but when he found he cou'd not without such a Present obtain his wish'd Enjoyment, he as his last Effort, address'd her thus: Well, Madam; I do perceive you are of kin to _Danae_, whom _Jove_ himself could not prevail upon until he courted her in Showers of Gold, an that dissolv'd her quickly into Love; & I intend to follow his Example, and to Enjoy your Favour I make this Present to you, and, therewithal gave her the fifty Guineas. And this had so soon molified her Stubborness, and made her maleable, that she straight made him this agreeable Return; Well, Sir, I see you are so much a Gentleman, that I scarce know how to deny you any longer: Your Amiable Person and good Humour, has over-come me so, I can no longer make Resistance, but offer my self to your Embraces. The Gallant then enquir'd if all were safe below, and if they shou'd not be in danger of meeting any Interruption from her Husband. To which she bid him never fear, all was secure enough. And then conducting him into the Chamber, she let him have what he so much desir'd. When he had thus debauch'd her, and satisfy'd his l.u.s.tful Appet.i.te, he ask'd her how long 'twould be before her Husband wou'd be at home again, she told him he was gone out of Town; and wou'd not be at home this Ten-days. At which he seem'd to be surpriz'd, for he was loath to be without his Ring so long; but since there was no Remedy, he was resolv'd to wait till he came home. His Mistress seeing him so indifferent at the hearing of her Husbands Absence, cou'd not tell what to think shou'd be the reason of it; and ask'd him what 'twas troubled him? Nothing, my Dear, said he, but I was thinking how crosly things fell out; because my own Affairs obliges me to be some Days out of Town just at this happy Juncture, when I might have been blest so oft with your Embraces. The cunning Baggage (now she had got his fifty Guinea's) was as indifferent as he for that, and told him Time might present 'em with another opportunity which might be full as favourable. And so they parted.

The Spark was satisfied with the enjoyment of his Lady, and that Itch now was Cur'd; he only wanted back his Ring, or else his fifty Guineas, that he might demand it of her Husband; and now reflecting on his short liv'd Pleasure, he truly judg'd that he had bought it at too dear a Rate, altho'

he should be only at the Five Guineas Charge he gave the Bawd.

But since the Goldsmith's being out of Town was such a Disappointed as cou'd not be fore-seen, & yet had been extreamly serviceable to him in the Enjoyment of his Mistress, he goes to the Old Bawd, and gives her an Account of what had pa.s.s'd, and asks her further how he must proceed in getting of his Ring again, without repaying of the Fifty Guineas? Give me the other Fee, says the Old Jade, and I'll inform you; for I am like a Lawyer, and don't know how to speak without a Fee. No, no, says he, I have Feed enough before, nor would I give so much again, for all the Pleasure her Enjoyment gave me.--The Bawd, (since she saw nothing more was to be got by him) advises him to wait the Goldsmiths coming home, and then take a fit opportunity to go to her alone, and to pretend he was just come to Town; and to desire another a.s.signation from her, which being made, and you having once more Enjoy'd her, stay till her Husband comes, and do as you were first directed. And when you have got your Ring again, I hope you'll then present me with two Guineas more.--No, not a Farthing more, says he, you know I paid you very well before-hand: And so left her.

The Bawd perceiving nothing more was to be got from him, resolv'd she wou'd be even with him, and take another Course to make a Penny of him: And thereupon goes the next Morning to the Goldsmith's Shop, and asks the Prentice if his Mistress was within; He answers, Yes, and she reply'd she must needs speak with her, who coming down, the Bawd Whispers her in the Ear, that she had something to acquaint her with, of great Importance to her; which was not fit to be discours'd of Publickly: And thereupon the Mistress ask'd her to walk up, and leading of her into a with-drawing Room, desir'd her to sit down, and then intreated her to tell her Business; upon which the Bawd began as followeth.

Madam.

_Altho' I am a Stranger to you, I doubt not but you will excuse the rudeness of this Visit, when you shall know 'twas only the Concern I have to see a lady of your Worth and Beauty, so much Design'd upon and Trick'd, as you are like to be, that has occasion'd it: I Know therefore, Madam, that there's a Gentleman, who has been for some time a great Admirer of your Matchless Beauty, which truly does deserve all those Encomiums that I have often heard him justly give it. This Gentleman, under the Notion of a Customer, has made you many Visits: And has been pleas'd (I know not for what reason) to make me his Confident; of which I need give you no further Instant, then that he has acquainted me that but a few Days past he gave you fifty Guineas, for which by way of Grat.i.tude, he was admitted to enjoy your last Favours_:--_Here the Young Lady interrupted her, all Blus.h.i.+ng and Confus'd_; Madam, you've fully satisfy'd me, _said she_, that that false man has let you know my Weakness, and most ungratefully expos'd my Honour, and betray'd me to the world.--_Nay, Madam_; said the Bawd, _be not so pa.s.sionate; I don't believe he has acquainted any with it, but myself. Nor let the thoughts of that at all disturb you; for, that's a Crime that I have known, for more than thirty-Years, the rest of all our s.e.x has scarce been free from. But that which more stirs up my Spleen against him, is for the Trick he designs to put upon you still; which is the only reason of my giving you this trouble_. You will oblige me in it very much, _reply'd the Goldsmith's Wife_. _Then this_ says the Bawd, _it is. He understands your Husband is now out of Town; and will be so for Seven or Eight Days time. As soon as he comes home, your Gallant will be with you to appoint him a time in which he may again enjoy your Favour; which when he has enjoy'd, he does intend to tarry till your Husband shall come in, and then accquaint him that he has paid to him the fifty Guineas that he borrow'd of him on his Ring; and so desire that he may have his Ring again; which is the thing he aims at. For he well knows, that when you shall be askt whether or no you have receiv'd the 50 Guineas, your Honour is so far concern'd, you can't deny it_. O Treach'rous Villian _said the She Goldsmith, with some indignation_, Is this the Generosity he so much boasted of? _Yes, Madam_, says the Bawd, _this is what he designs to do; But I am so concerned to see a Lady of your Worth so basely and ingratefully impos'd upon, I could not but discover it: And if you wou'd be rul'd by me, you shou'd out-Trick the Fop, and catch him in the Snare he'd lay for you._--O I'd do any thing to be reveng'd on him, _cry'd the young Lady with some eagerness_: And do but tell me how, and Keep my Counsel, and I'll so well reward you for your Pains, that you shall say I'm grateful.--_Then Madam_, says the Bawd, _as soon as your Husband comes to Town, before he comes to know of it, send one to tell him that you must needs speak with him about earnest Business, and when he's come, tell him that you expect your Husband the next day; and therefore beg the Favour of him to let you have his Company that Night, and as an Earnest of your Love to him, & that he should not think you mercenary, you'll both return him Fifty Guineas, and give him back the Ring he gave your Husband for a p.a.w.n: And tell him likewise you have engag'd the Maid to Secresie; for which if he presents her with a Guinea, 'tis all he needs to do: This will, I'm sure engage him; for he's as Covetous as he is l.u.s.tful: And when he's thus engag'd, in the next place acquaint your Husband how you cou'd scarce have any quiet in his absence from this young Spark's continual Solicitations to unlawful Love. Then tell him that you have appointed him to come that Evening, of which you thought fit to acquaint him, that he might give him that Correction which he saw necessary, to cool his too hot Blood: This will so much confirm your Husband in his opinion of your inviolable Chast.i.ty, that all your Treacherous Gallant shall offer to the contrary will be look'd upon as the Effect of Malice and Revenge. Thus you'll confirm your Reputation to the World, and keep these Fifty Guineas he designs to cheat you out of, and be sufficiently reveng'd on an ungrateful Man._

_Well_ (says the injur'd Gentlewoman) _I'm pleas'd with your Contrivance; keep but my Counsel, and you shall see my Vengeance on this ungrateful Wretch, and with how just a Retribution I shall use him for his intended Villany. And that you may be sensible you have not lost your Labour, accept of this_; and therewithal she put Ten Guineas in her hand, and promis'd her a further Token of her Grat.i.tude: And so dismist her.--The Bawd was well pleas'd with the Mornings Work she'd made; and finding that the Goldsmith's Wife was like to be the better Customer, she hugg'd her self for her contrivance, and her Treachery to the Cully Beau.

That Afternoon the _Wrathful Lady_ receiv'd a Letter from her Husband, that he intended to be in Town the _Thursday_ following, and desir'd her to meet him that day at _Hammersmith_ about noon, where he wou'd dine with her, and so come home together. She therefore sent a Messenger to tell her Treacherous Lover she must needs speak with him on _Thursday Morning_, for she had something of Moment to impart to him; who presently on the receiving of this Note, came to her, fearing there might be some Discovery of their Love-enjoyment.

As soon as he was come, she tells him she was extreamly Troubled she had not seen him since; and that she never had enjoy'd more pleasure than in his Embraces; and understanding that her Husband wou'd be at home on _Friday Night_, she had contriv'd things so, that he might freely, and without Interruption, lie with her on _Thursday Night_. Which she desir'd on the Account of that affection which she had for him, and of the Pleasure which she took in his Embraces; and that he might be satisfy'd 'twas so, she did engage the next Morning to present him with his Fifty Guineas, which, she was sorry that she had took of him: And as a further Testimony of it, if he could but procure things necessary for the picking of the Locks belonging to her Husbands Cabinet, she'd give him back the Diamond Ring he gave her Husband as a Pledge for fifty Guineas; and, as occasion offer'd, wou'd be very grateful to him otherways.

These _Generous Offers_ overcame the Spark to all Intents and purposes; and he wou'd fain have been a dabling with her then; But she forbid him, and told him 'twas not at that time convenient, but she had order'd matters so, that when he came on _Thursday-night,_ there shou'd be nothing that shou'd interrupt them. Telling him further, she had made the Maid acquainted with their Secrets, who was intirely in their Interests, and that it wou'd not be amiss to give her something as an Encouragement: And thereupon, calling the Maid to fetch a Bottle of Wine, he gave her half a Guinea, and told her, _that was but an Earnest of that which he intended her to Morrow-night_. And then drinking his Wine up, he gave his Mistress a Salute, and took his leave; she bidding him besure not to forget to bring the _Picklocks_ with him, that she might help him to the Ring.

The Plot being thus laid, on _Thursday-Morning_, she prepares to meet her Husband; having before acquainted her Maid with her Design, who mightily commended both her Honesty and Ingenuity, for she knew nothing of what had before past between 'em.

Being come to _Hammersmith_, and meeting with her Husband there, she told him she had something to say to him privately that did as much concern his Honour as her own: And then, as they were walking together in the Garden she thus began to tell him her Design.

My Dear,

_I doubt not but you are well satisfied that I have all along took care in all my Actions still to approve my self _(what you shall ever find me) a chaste and vertuous Wife_, and tho' I am not sensible I ever gave encouragement to any l.u.s.tful Eyes to cast a wanton Glance at me yet so it is, I have been solicited to commit Folly both against Heaven and you, with that young Gentleman to whom you lent the 50 Guineas on the Diamond Ring; & tho' I have as oft deny'd his Suit as he has made it, yet he continues his Solicitations still; and has been so importunate of late that I could scarce be ever quiet for him: And therefore being with me Yesterday, & urging me for my Consent to his unlawful Amours, I did appoint him to come to me this Night; having before receiv'd your Letter, by which I knew you wou'd be then at home. The l.u.s.tful Fool is extream Confident that I will yield to his Desires; & since he wants no Money I thought it best to seem to yield to him, that having caught him your Trap, you may deal with him as you please. And there's another thing that I have to acquaint you with, and that is, that he's as _Covetous_ as he is _Leacherous_, and did but Yesterday solicit me to let him have his Ring: And tho' (to put him off) I told him 'twas lock'd up in a Cabinet of which you had the Key: yet he reply'd that he cou'd bring a _Picklock_ with him that cou'd open it. So that I am afraid he does design as well to rob you of your Treasure as your Honour. But ere to morrow Morning, I hope you'll have it in your power to make him pay for his Attempting either. At least I have contributed what I can towards it, and leave the rest to you._

The poor _Contented Goldsmith_, (who thought his Wife far Chaster than _Diana_ of her _Nymphs_; and that the Wife of _Collatine_ wa'nt worthy to compare to her) was hugely pleas'd with his Wife's Policy; and therefore order'd her to go home first alone, whilst he came after her _Incognito_; and when her Gallant came, he bid her hasten him to bed; and whilst she stood before him, that the Maid shou'd take away his Sword, and then he thought he might the better deal with a Naked Man: All which she promis'd him shou'd be obey'd.

At Night the poor deluded _Cully_ comes to the _Goldsmith's_, according to appointment; and was conducted presently up Stairs; where, he might the less suspect foul Play, he finds a good Collation was proyided, which he and his false Mistress feasted at, _she urging him to make haste into Bed, that there they might have more delicious Dainties_, and she beginning to undress her self, he made most haste and first got into Bed; and then the Maid (as she was before directed) having privately carry'd off the Sword, comes running in upon a sudden, and cries out, _O Mistress, we are all undone! My Master's coming up Stairs_. Up gets the Quaking Beau immediately, and runs under the Bed, which he had but just done, before the _Goldsmith_ enter'd: Who seeing of his Wife, Accosts her thus, _My Dear I'm come a Day sooner than I expected_,--_You're very Welcome, Love_, said she again, looking as one surpriz'd, at which, cries he, _Why how now? What's the matter with you?_ And then looking about the Chamber, he sees a very Beauish Powder'd Wig; _Ah ha!_ says he; _What have we here? A Wig, new Powder'd! Pray whose Wig is this? I'm sure 'tis none of mine_; then looking on the Bed, he sees a pair of Breeches lie, _Hey dey!_ Cries he, _Pray whose are these?_ _They're yours_, said she, _for ought I know_, (speaking a little surlily) _whose shou'd they be, d'ye think?_ _They're none of mine_, says he, _I'm sure; But let me see, what is there in 'em?_--Then searching of the Pockets, he pulls out a Gold Watch, about Nine or Ten Guineas, a Silver Snush-Box, and several Pick-Locks: As soon as he perceiv'd the Pick-Locks, _So, so_, cries he, _here's a fine Trade indeed!

Cou'd you get none to serve you, but some Newgate-Stallion; One that us'd to Break up Houses, and Pick open Locks! Where is this Villain_, says he, _that Wrongs my Bed, and thus dishonours me, that I may run my Sword into his Heart, and send him of an Errand to the Devil?_

The Poor Dejected Wretch, that look'd each moment to be stuck to th' Floor, resolving now to venture on the Goldsmith's Clemency, came trembling out from underneath the Bed, & begg'd of him to save his Life, and he wou'd tell him all that e'er he knew. _Don't tell me_, says the Goldsmith _of what you know, but tell me what Satisfaction shall I have for the wrong you've done me, to come thus to defile my Bed?_ _Indeed_, said he, _I did it never but once before_. _How!_ says the Goldsmith, _have you lain with my Wife before?_ _Yes, if it please you, once, and never but once_. With that his Wife with open mouth came to him, _O Villain_, said she, _art not thou asham'd thus falsly to accuse me to my Husband, because thy own base wicked inclinations are now brought to light? Hast thou not been soliciting of me to act Uncleanness with thee, a long time, and I refus'd it always?

Nay, didst thou not intice me to it Yesterday, and I appointed thee to come to Night, because I knew my Husband wou'd be at home to give thee thy Reward? Let the Maid speak, I won't be my own Judge_--_Yes, Sir_, reply'd the Maid, _I know that what my Mistress says is true_--

The Goldsmith then seeming to look more wistly at him, _What, Mr._ Bramble__ says he, as if he'd been surpriz'd: _Is't you that did intend to claw me off thus? And then to mend the matter, go to accuse my Wife too, as if she had been Dishonest with you; when I am satisfied there e'nt an honester Woman in the Kingdom. Why to be plain with ye, 'tis she that has discover'd all your Roguery_: As soon as he heard that, lifting up his Hands and Eyes, _O the Deceit_, said he, _that is in Women!_ Pray give me leave to put my Cloaths on, and then hear me what I have to say--_No_, says the Goldsmith, _I'll not part with these Cloaths; but yet I'll lend you something to cover your Nakedness with all_; and then bid the Maid to reach him an old Suit of his. Which having put on, _Now_, says he, _give me but leave to speak, and I will tell you how false that Woman is_: Come, said the Goldsmith, let's hear what you have to say. Upon which _Bramble_ thus began.

I must confess my Fault; I do acknowledge I did oft-times solicite your Wife to let me lie with her, and I must do her that Justice to tell you that she still refus'd it; until at last I borrow'd fifty Guineas of you on a Ring, and that I gave her, and she thereupon permitted me to lie with her. And I ne'er thought of Lying with her more, until she sent for me yesterday morning; and told me how much she lov'd me, and that you were to come home on Friday-night, and she wou'd have me Lie with her on Thursday night; and that to let me know how well she lik'd me, she wou'd return me back again the fifty Guineas that I gave her, and also give me back the Ring I p.a.w.n'd to you for fifty Guineas. And that was the Occasion of my coming here to Night.

_But_ said the Goldsmith, _Pray resolve me one thing; What made you bring the Pick-locks in your Pocket?_

I brought these Pick-locks, _reply'd he_, at her desire, to open the Cabinet, wherein the Ring was put.

_By that_, answer'd the Goldsmith, _I know that what you have said is false. For what need she to have desir'd you to bring Picklocks to open the Cabinet withal, when as the Key of it was in her keeping? for I left it with her when I went out of Town._

'Tis very true, my Dear, _reply'd his Wife_, and here it is. And then going to her Chest of Drawers, she gave him out the Key of the Cabinet.

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