Part 3 (1/2)
_No, Sirrah_, says the Goldsmith, _you're a Rascal; and you accuse my Chaste and Vertuous Wife because she has discover'd your Baseness--'Tis plain enough that your Design was to debauch my Wife, and then to Rob my House; and I will make you suffer for't, before I've done with you. I've lost above Five hundred pounds already; and for ought I know you may be the Thief; for I have found you in my Chamber underneath my Bed, with Picklocks in your Breeches--Here Boy go call a Constable._
The poor _Beau_ finding himself in such bad Circ.u.mstances, begg'd him for Heavens sake, he wou'd not to call a Constable; for if he shou'd be sent to Goal, his Reputation wou'd be lost for ever. Matters were private now, and if they might be kept so, let him but make his own Demands, and he wou'd satisfie 'em.--This Generous submission did somewhat qualifie the Goldsmith's Pa.s.sion. And calling of his Man to fetch his Books up, he look'd what he had lost by Mr _Theif_, and finding there about four hundred Pounds set down, he told him, _That he'd use him kindly, and take his Bond for Three hundred and fifty pound, including in it the fifty Guineas he had lent him; and for the Ring, since he had in so gross a manner abus'd his Wife, he shou'd bestow that on her, to make her Satisfaction._
These were hard Terms poor _Bramble_ thought; but yet considering his Circ.u.mstances, he judg'd 'twas better to comply than go to Goal, which wou'd be the Result of being had before a Justice.
The Bonds being made and Seal'd, he fetches him the Ring, which he, (with begging of her Pardon,) presents the Goldsmith's Wife, and desires her to accept of it for the affront he so unworthily had put upon her. And then, after a Bottle of Wine at parting, they let him go; restoring him his Cloaths and all things again. She telling of him, as he was going out of Doors, _She hop'd that this wou'd be a warning to him how he hereafter went about to put Tricks upon Gentlewomen, or make his Boast what private Favours he had receiv'd from 'em._
_Thus still the Bawd tempts all she can to Sin,_ _And leaves them in the Lurch, when once they're in:_ _To heap up Gold, which she so much adores,_ _She makes Men Atheists, and makes Women Wh.o.r.es,_ _She lives by Sin; and if she can but gain,_ _She has her End, let those that list Complain._
CHAP. X.
_How the Goldsmiths Wife went to the Bawd, and gave her an Account how she had serv'd her Treacherous Gallant; and how the Bawd related several of her own Exploits, _&c_ In a short History of her Life._
About a week after poor Mr. _Bramble_ had been so miserably handled by the Contrivance of the old Bawd, and the Splenetick and Vindictive Temper of the Goldsmith's Wife; whereby she doubled on himself all the Design he had of Cheating her: She thought upon the Promise she had made to the Old Bawd, of giving her a Visit, and Enlarging her Gratuity: For she saw clearly now her Words were True, and _Bramble_ made a full account to Cheat her, tho'
'twas by the Exposing of her Honour, which she cou'd never have retriev'd had it not been for the old Bawd's Advice; altho' indeed, when she had put her in the way, she did her self improve it further to her own Advantage.
She therefore took Ten Guineas in her Pocket, which she believ'd she had deserv'd; and which she also thought wou'd so engage her, that she need not fear Discovery. And being come to her House, (to find which she before had given her Directions) she had no sooner ask'd for her, but found her; and the old Bawd taking her up into her Dining-Room, told her, that she was glad too see her in her poor Habitation. _O Mother_, says the She-Goldsmith, _I found that Treacherous Villain the same false man you represented him; and if I had'nt took your Counsel, my Honour had been Ruin'd; for the insipid Sot told all that e'er had past between us to my Husband; but thanks to my good Stars, & your sage Counsel, I clearly got the Ascendant over him, for which I here present you with a farther Testimony of my Gratuity._ The Bawd, (who met with such large Fees but seldom) was so well pleas'd with her Ingenuous and generous Temper, that she both thank'd her heartily for what she had presented her and told her that if hereafter she cou'd by any means oblige her, she wou'd be sure to do it: For I a.s.sure you, added she, that Trading now is very Dead, and I have got but little Custom.--This made the Gentlewoman ask her what Trade she follow'd (for she was Ignorant she was a Bawd)--Madam, reply'd the old Crone, You have so far engag'd me by your Generosity, I can deny you nothing; and therefore if you please, I'll give you the History of my Life: In which you may perhaps find something that may be diverting: For I have in my time run through varieties of Changes, and met with very odd Rencounters: Which if I may not too much Trespa.s.s on your patience, I'll relate to you with all the Brevity I can.--To which, with an obliging Bow, the Gentlewoman told her, she shou'd esteem herself indebted to her for so great an Obligation.--And then the Bawd began as followeth.
Madam,
_Before I give you that Account of my Life which I design, I think my self obliged first of all, to answer the Question you were pleas'd to put to me, _viz. What Trade or Calling 'tis I follow_, the knowledge of which, will make that I shall afterwards relate, the more Intelligible to you._
Know therefore, _Madam_, That the House which I now keep, is a House of Convenience for Gentlemen and Ladies: And goes under several Denominations: Some call it _The School of Venus_, others a _Vaulting School_; other the _a.s.signation-House_: And some that are my Enemies, bestow upon it the t.i.tle of a _Bawdy-House_; but this t.i.tle I neither lay claim to, nor take Pleasure in. Tho' I confess, my Business is to help a Gentleman that is in distress, to the Enjoyment of a Gentlewoman; and a Gentlewoman that has the like occasion, to a Gallant. In which I always take care to help either s.e.x to that which may be for their Purpose; and always Warrant those I help 'em to, to be Safe and Sound; for I Value my Reputation more, than to put a bad Commodity into any Man's hand. I am not unsensible that this is decried as a very unlawful Calling; but for my part, to be plain with you, _Madam_, I am of another Opinion: For Nature that has given us Appet.i.tes, has also given us an Inclination to satisfie 'em; and 'tis no more than the Satisfying the Natural Desires and Inclinations of Men and Women; that I concern my self about. I know it will be Objected that Marriage is appointed as a Remedy in that Case. And to those that are equally Match'd, without any Impediment on either side, I grant it: And whether there be any such Impediment, or not, they can best tell, that have such Wives or Husbands. It is not my Business to ask 'em and if they do't without occasion, 'tis their own fault, and not mine. I know (and know it by Experience too) there's many a Man that looks as likely as your Husband does, and yet cann't give a Woman that which Nature calls for. Some Men (and so some Women too) have greater Stomachs, and some less, as Nature orders it; and if their Diet be'nt proportion'd according to their Stomachs, some may be Surfeited, and others Starv'd. For that which one can live on very well, wou'd starve another; And the Concupiscential Appet.i.tes of Men and Women, do differ as much as do their Stomachs. And therefore Married People are not so much to blame in making use of others besides their Wives or Husbands; provided that they take that Prudent Care and Circ.u.mspection which is so requisite in such affairs. And because _Madam_, you are yet but a Beginner, and may perhaps be startled at this Doctrine, I'll let you see 'tis not my single Notion, but is the Judgment of a Learned Author, who long ago has written on this Subject, a Choice Copy of Verses, which I'll here repeat to you. He Ent.i.tles it,
_Upon Love fondly Refused for Conscience sake._
Nature, Creations law, is judg'd by Sense, Not by the Tyrant Conscience; Then our Commission gives us leave to do What Youth and Pleasure Prompt us to: For we must question else Heav'ns great Decree, And tax it with a Treachery; If things made sweet to attempt our Appet.i.te, Should with a guilt Stain the Delight.
High'r Pow'rs rule us, our Selves can nothing do, Who made us Love, hath made Love lawful too.
It was not Love, but Love transform'd to Vice, Ravish'd by Envious Avarice, Made Woman first Impropriate; all were free; Inclosures Mens Inventions be.
I'th Golden Age, no Action cou'd be found For Trespa.s.s on my Neighbour's ground: 'Twas just, with any Fair to mix our Blood; The best is most diffusive Good.
She that confines her Beams to one Mans sight, Is a Dark Lanthorn to a s.h.i.+ning Light.
Say, Does the Virgin Spring less Chaste appear, 'Cause many Thirsts are quenched there?
Or have you not with the same Odours met, When more then One have smelt your Violet The _Phoenix_ is not angry at her nest, 'Cause her Perfumes makes others Blest: Tho' Incense to th' Immortal G.o.ds be meant, Yet Mortals rival in the Scent.
Man is the Lord of Creatures; yet we see That all his Va.s.sals Loves are free; The severe Wedlock-Fetters do not bind The Pard's inflam'd and Am'rous Mind, But that he may be like a Bridegroom led Ev'n to the Royal Lion's Bed.
The Birds made for a Year their Loves Confine, But make new Choice each Valentine.
If our Affections then more servile be Than are our Slaves, where's Mans Sov'raignity?
Why then by pleasing more, should you less please, And spare your sweets, being more sweet than these?
If the fresh Trunk have Sap enough to give, That each insertive Branch may live; The Gardner grafts not only _Apples_ there, But adds the _Warden_ and the _Pear_; The _Peach_ and _Apric.o.c.k_ together grow, The _Cherry_ and the _Damson_ too; Till he hath made, by Skilful Husbandry, An intire _Orchard_ of one Tree.
So least our _Paradise_ Perfection want, We may inoculate and plant.
What's Conscience, but a Beldams Midnight Theam; Or Nodding Nurses idle Dream?
So feign'd as are the _Goblins_, _Elves_ and _Fairies_, To watch their _Orchard's_ and their _Daries_.
For who can tell when first her Reign begun?
I'th' State of Innocence was none: And since large Conscience (as the Proverb shows) In the same sense as bad one goes; The Less, the Better then; whence this will fall, He's perfect that hath none at all.
Suppose it be a Vertue rich and pure; 'Tis not for _Spring_ or _Summer_ sure; Nor yet for _Autumn_; Love must have his Prime, His Warmer Hearts, and Harvest time.