Chapter 31 (1/2)

Ugh, I love this slow and delicate chapter of Lost You Forever way too much So little action but so much richness in i Mountain and finds her true calling after a walk down memory lane She reads the former Flame E a healer means and that motivates her to become a doctor in spirit as well as in skill Xiao Yao will never know that her own mother actually met the Flame Emperor in the last days of his life and he passed on his life’s work to her Not toplatonic best friends with Xiao Yao’s grandmother Empress Lei Zhu as well as Xiao Yao’s master the Royal Mother It’s so apropos that Xiao Yao carries the mantle now Medicine becomes also her distraction fro but doesn’t love hi’s broken pro in trust heart, and wondering what the heck is really between her and Xiang Liu

Okay, she doesn’t ever wonder but she does soirl who never ever wants to take the first step andLiu the e of what is in her heart towards him She pleads wordlessly for him to take her hand, for hiet that he’s the General of the Sheng Nong resistance army and she’s the cousin of Eh with Jing, he was always the one who made the effort, the one who bared his heart to her, the one who extracted a promise from her For the first time we see Xiao Yao dare ever so little to hope My heart bleeds for her as it does for all the male leads in this novel Who will be the one to break free of their fate and find long lasting happiness? I don’t know but can’t st? I don’t kno I can translate through the tears to co Past Mee:

Life on Xiao Yue Su Nong Mountain was the same as Five Gods Mountain but that wasn’t true Five Gods Mountain had noMountain, Zhi Yi, Zhe Province, it all had lots of memories in each place

Xiao Yao didn’t know if she purposely didn’t want to face the past or really was lazy, but she didn’t want to go anywhere When Zhuan Xu suggested she open a medical clinic like she did on Five Gods Mountain, Xiao Yao wasn’t interested

Every day Xiao Yao woke up after noon and then flipped through her htly

The Yellow Eested “That boy froht? I see you guys get along well, how come he hasn’t co out together”

It was better the Yellow Eot evenpoisons She spent every day sitting in a daze in the corridor

One day the Yellow Emperor summoned Xiao Yao and took her into a wooden hut It was sparsely decorated with only a jade box on the pallet that caught the eye The Yellow Emperor said “This was the residence of the former Flame Emperor”

She knehich for to but couldn’t help but confirarded as the founder ofHerb Manual, that Flah she neverthe manual so she quietly looked around the hut

The Yellow Emperor walked up to the pallet and pointed to the jade box “This contains all the notes written by the Fla his medical research You can read it”

Xiao Yao wasn’t very interested and murmured “Sure”

The Yellow Emperor added “Whether he was still alive or after he died, the entire world respects the Fla the Middle Plains and to sooth the people’s will I had no choice but to venerate him, but in truth I never felt he orthy until I settled at Xiao Yue Su it carefully I finally conceded that I could never match up to him At least the me of the past couldn’t! Xiao Yao, I have only ever respected myself, the Flame Emperor is the only other person I ever respected and admired in my life”

Xiao Yao stared in shock at the Yellow Emperor, unable to believe that such an ambitious, brave, and proud Yellow Emperor could have just said that

The Yellow E you’ve long memorized but no matter how much you know it front to back you have never truly understood it Don’t look at me like that, after you read it then you’ll understand what I mean”

Xiao Yao opened the box and picked up the first scroll and started reading

Once she started she was mesmerized and didn’t even knohen the Yellow E, fro, Xiao Yao didn’t sleep or eat and just kept on reading

The notes started with the Fla that he personally tested hundreds of plants and herbs to understand what its effects were He discovered that he was being poisoned by the testing so he started to cure himself with antidotes

The Flame Emperor carefully wrote down in detail every type ofthe effects of each medicine before and after, and then carefully write do it affected hi, spas at the mouth…

The notes were detailed and calm without a shred of emotion Xiao Yao read in it the cold stark words but knew behind it was real pain that a body had to endure In the beginning Xiao Yao didn’t understand why the person who could write the Sheng Nong Herb Manual didn’t kno to lesson his own pain? But the more she read led her to understand that he kne but didn’t want to help hiive the people of the world a manual that listed the first reaction to a plant or herb exactly as it was ingested

Until the end, when the Flame Emperor knew there was no cure for his poisoned body, he still used his body to test all sorts ofmore and more to leave behind

This could cure heart attacks but would leave nerve da but will cause sleeplessness; that could help bodily pain but ht lead to blindness…

In these cold words, how deep was the love for the world, how nanimous was the sacrifice, how brave and resilient was the deter to endure such pain and agony just to leave behind knowledge to help the hu that to devote it to experiencing agony willingly required how vast a heart full of courage

These notes were just a portion of what the Flame Emperor wrote but contained some plants not included in the Manual itself likely because he didn’t have tie included in the Manual was so detailed and precise, howNong Herb Manual?

After Xiao Yao finished reading the handwritten notes she sat there in a daze for so the hut

The Yellow E! I never truly read and understood the Sheng Nong Herb Manual!” In the past she heard people talking about how the Manual was the life’s work of the Flame Emperor but she never truly comprehended what that meant Now she understood that what she had casually learned was not just a uts of an Emperor’s entire life

The Yellow E, hoill you fix it?”

Xiao Yao didn’t have an answer

The Yellow Emperor said “The Flame Emperor didn’t have time to collect his final notes He likely doesn’t care whether I a official prayer ceremonies, if I could present the world with the final collection from his notes and help the people, it would be the best tribute to him But I don’t know medicine”

The Yellow Emperor took his hoe and headed for the fields

Xiao Yao sat down crossed legged and slowly conte and she said to him “I want to learn medicine”

Zhuan Xu was perplexed “Don’t you already know medicine?”

Xiao Yao said “I learnedto poison people and lacked the fundamentals She didn’t even kno to treat the most basic ailments so she could never be considered a real doctor

When Xiao Yao was running the medical clinic in Yin Province she actually discovered this limitation but she didn’t care to fix it She never intended to help the people of the world with her healing so if there were ailments she couldn’t treat then another doctor could deal with it But now she faced her liet everything she learned and start learning medicine from scratch

Zhuan Xu asked “How do you want to learn medicine? Want me to order Dr Zhen to teach you?”

Xiao Yao shook her head “Right now I’ me”

“Whatever you want to do, I will support you”

There were medical schools in Zhi Yi Castle so Zhuan Xu ordered royal physicians to take turns teaching courses there Xiao Yao covered her face with a veiled hat and pretended to be a regularmedicine fro in and got up early every day to take classes at the ot up early every day and went to tend the fields and read up on , the days passed peacefully on Xiao Yue Summit

Every day Zhuan Xu would come have dinner with the Zhuan Xu finally understood that the Yellow E back to rule Zhuan Xu also gained experience with ruling Xuan Yuan and didn’t need his advice asthe Yellow Emperor every detail of ent on in court and only shared the critical issues with him

Most of the time Zhuan Xu never talked about politics or Zhi Jin Palace He discussed the land with the Yellow Emperor and asked Xiao Yao what she learned today, the new friends shehappened

Soer after dinner to acco or help her do little chores or even take a ith her in the phoenix tree forest

Xiao Yao felt nothing changed between her and Zhuan Xu, he was still her closest person But everything was still not the sao to Zhi Jin Palace so she felt that he placed her outside of his normal daily life But Xiao Yao didn’t have a problem with that since he didn’t need her anymore now

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Winter left and Sum medicine for two years in the medical school

One afternoon Xiao Yao walked out of the school and found Feng Long waiting for her She s smiled “I’ll take you back”

In the last two years, when Feng Long was in Zhi Yi Castle he would find time to visit Xiao Yao in Xiao Yue Summit and also chat with the Yellow Emperor After Zhuan Xu arrived the four of the Yue only visited once after Xiao Yao came to Xiao Yue Summit Due to the Yellow E Yue She was a hostage in Xuan Yuan Castle from birth so the Yellow Emperor represented the spectre of death to her Her fear of hirained since childhood so even if she was now the Empress of Xuan Yuan and the Yellow Emperor could not harm her anymore, she still felt very ahenever she saw him So she intentionally avoided it and if she had her way she would have sent the Yellow Emperor back to Xuan Yuan Mountain already

In her one and only visit, Xing Yue was very for Long was vastly different than Xing Yue, he was taken at birth by the Chi Sui clan leader and grew up in his grandfather’s protective care without any worry After he grew up he understood that the Yellow Emperor caused his family to be split into three places but by such tiry before but he didn’t blame the Yellow Emperor anymore nor was he scared of hi a reat ambition would have for another who succeeded Like a beast’s natural adovernment officials ary so kept their distance from the Yellow Emperor to avoid the aardness of one nation with two rulers and lead to Zhuan Xu’s suspicion of their allegiance Feng Long was as smart as any when it came to politics yet with this he was coht, he never avoided the Yellow Emperor and even used Xiao Yao to spend more time with him He liked to talk with the Yellow Emperor, to learn from hih and had greater understanding of Feng Long wanted to learn such wisdoe froht never experience once, but because of Xiao Yao he hadreturned to Xiao Yue Su immediately ran off to find the Yellow Emperor He excitedly used his water power to draw a map to show the ary with the Yellow E, the Yellow E was rendered duht and then excitedly bowed to the Yellow Ehed and shook her head, she wondered if Feng Long was visiting her not because he missed his fiancee but because heand old and went to the dummy to practice her acupuncture

Zhuan Xu arrived to find Feng Long and the Yellow Ey and he listened for a bit before walking over to watch Xiao Yao poking needles

Likely she practiced archery for so rated the technique into her acupuncture so the way she wielded needles was very different than other doctors

Even though it was just a dummy, Xiao Yao treated it as a real person so she didn’t dare slack off and was covered in sweat after her practice session Zhuan Xu handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face and tenderly said “There aresuch detailed skills?”

Xiao Yao laughed “If I work hard during the day I can sleep better at night”

“Is your sleeplessness better?”

“Since starting to learn otten a lot better” She still had a hard tiht Because she slept better, her heart pain problem also lessened

Zhuan Xu’s expression was conflicted – Xiao Yao’s illness was caused by Jing and she never mentioned hiotten hi in front of the dummy and called over “Your majesty, can you work a little harder please? Can’t you see randfather over here? Of course with me around you’ll never end up on the battlefield, but you should come learn it!”

Zhuan Xu walked over and ’s side Feng Long stared slack-jawed in disbelief

Zhuan Xu scoffed “Since I was srandfather He acted out all the battles he fought and back then it was during the height of the Sheng Nong and Xuan Yuan war so I heard so many battles firsthand Many times Grandfather tookin the middle of the fallen corpses can I experience the heat of the blood and understand the sacrifices of the soldiers”

Feng Long’s eer and finally to pity When he was playing pretend ith his friends, Zhuan Xu was stepping over corpses to walk forward

Real battle, real death, such things even an adult would have a hard ti there in the battlefield

Feng Long sighed “For sure an Emperor isn’t a position that just anyone can possibly occupy”

Shan Hu announced dinner and the four sat down to eat Feng Long aardly stood up and started toasting each person individually He then stammered and looked at everyone until Zhuan Xu i Long chuckled “That…I was thinking…randfather wants to see great-grandchildren and I’randfather does as well”

Xiao Yao’s heart dropped with a thud, like a person walking on the edge of the cliff suddenly stepping on empty Her hands started to shake and she quickly clenched into a fist and looked down

Feng Long stared at the Yellow Esters decide your ownrelaxed and immediately looked at Zhuan Xu who s pitifully “Your ht to pity a brother I promised Xiao Yao I would only have her as my one woman into do so, but et married”

Zhuan Xu finished his wine and s to her wishes”

Feng Long sighed and turned to Xiao Yao and wheedled “What do you think?’

Xiao Yao bit her lip and said nothing, she didn’t sense anything when she and Feng Long were co back but he clearly came prepared So Long softly said “If you like living on Sheng Nong Mountain, let’s ask His ive us a peak since there are so many palaces uninhabited If you like Zhi Yi, the Chi Sui clan has a big residence in Zhi Yi and you can renovate it If you find both places too hectic and want quiet then we can go to Chi Sui Have you been there? There are lots of rivers and lakes, like Gao Xing, so you’ll like it a lot The Chi Sui residence is very lovely centered around a lake and especially beautiful in the Su looked at Xiao Yao’s expression and continued “If you likeand even if you want to beco doctor I would fully support you”

Xiao Yao felt that if her life was exactly as Feng Long offered then it was already such a good life Chi Sui castle wasn’t very big and was beautiful and serene Perhaps she can open a ht not be blissful happiness but there also won’t be gutwrenching sadness The days would pass in mellow calmness She wanted to say yes but the as stuck in herherself to actually say it out loud so she nodded her head

Feng Long asked “So you agree?”

Xiao Yao nodded again “Yup”

Feng Long was so happy he couldn’t barely contain his smile He scooted back to his seat and said “I’ll write a letter to ht and have hi details with the His majesty the Grand Emperor”

With thisXiao Yao was silent while Zhuan Xu smiled but said very little The Yellow E talking and being so happy

After dinner Feng Long didn’t stuck around like he used to and spend more time with the Yellow Emperor but instead immediately bid farewell and rushed off in exciteed ride

Xiao Yao walked back into the hut to write a letter to her dad and ask hi date for her

After she wrote the letter and su and was about to release it when Zhuan Xu reached out and captured the bird in his one hand and grabbed Xiao Yao’s hand in his other hand

Xiao Yao looked quizzically at him as he asked “Are you absolutely sure?”

Xiao Yao said “We’ve been engaged for a long ti wants to get etto consider anyone else?”

Xiao Yao laughed “To be honest you have plenty of talentedis just one of the and he isn’t too into roreed to get engaged to hio, you were the one who said there couldn’t be a better option than him”

Zhuan Xu ree!”

Zhuan Xu said “I don’t want you to get

Xiao Yao patted his hand “I understand”

“You don’t understand!” Zhuan Xu’s eyes were trained on his feet and his eyes were filled with abject sorrow and despair

Xiao Yao said “I understand! Years ago when youyou away from me, that ould be like outsiders from then on”

Zhuan Xu looked up and stared at Xiao Yao “You were upset when I got hed at herself and nodded “I really felt so awful back then, so angry like so stolen by another Later I realized I was being petty, you’ve been e You didn’t get stolen by Xing Yue Later when I , you’re still my closest, most trusted person”

But he didn’t want just that, he wanted more…… Zhuan Xu could only s and only asked for her ht anymore

It wasn’t that he didn’t have a chance with her, he actually had more chances than any of the et close to her, he was already deep inside Xiao Yao’s heart If he but reached out then no one else would ever have a chance But he needed those ain he pushed Xiao Yao towards theot Jing’s help When he arrived in the Middle Plains and it was dangerous in Sheng Nong Mountain, he got Feng Long and Jing to unite and back him Then the entire Middle Plains backed him But now that he didn’t need help froiven her heart to Jing and pledged her body to Feng Long

In Xuan Yuan Castle, he knew that night Jing stayed all night in Xiao Yao’s room But he could only pretend not to know He stared at the ht until sunrise On Zhi Jing Su and didn’t co but he could only pretend not to know anything He tensely studied his work all night When he was in theLong just for hi to stop it…… Back then he couldn’t even protect himself A woman who claimed to love hireed to ripped Xiao Yao’s hand tighter and theto escape his hand

The Yellow Emperor suddenly appeared and yelled “Zhuan Xu!”

Zhuan Xu and Xiao Yao looked over at hiently “Zhuan Xu, release the bird and let it go”

Zhuan Xu gradually released his hand and the

Xiao Yao rubbed her hand and said “Thiscan be very randos”

Zhuan Xu turned to leave and his voice was dark “Random? He calculated this better than anyone!”

Xiao Yao watched Zhuan Xu disappear into the clouds and asked the Yellow E have a conflict I don’t know about?”

The Yellow Ee and his subordinate will always help each other but at the same time be wary of each other”

Xiao Yao wanted to sayto worry about, Feng Long is a smart man and he will plan what’s best for hie But people have teive hinitude”

Xiao Yao sighed “After the wedding I think it best if I go to Chi Sui Castle It would be too complicated to stay here!”

The Yellow E really was the ive her deep passion but he can give her a calm uneventful life

The Yellow E beside thestaring into the dark night in a daze He coughed lightly and Xiao Yao appeared to wake froone to sleep?”

The Yellow Emperor suddenly said “I asked Zhuan Xu to find any way possible to get Nine Lives Xiang Liu to turn his allegiance to us”

Xiao Yao bolted upright and stared at the Yellow Emperor

The Yellow E any method, any persuasion, any means available, he turned it all down”

Xiao Yao looked back out into the dark distance and her face showed no emotion, no joy and no sorrow

“Zhuan Xu ordered that two peaks in Sheng Nong Mountain be designated as off-liht to knohy he did that Even though Xiang Liu saved your life, but you don’t owe hi”

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Zhuan Xu went to Xuan Yuan Castle to handle some matters and didn’t come to Xiao Yue Su Yue who never ca Yue saw Xiao Yao hen she just returned to Xiao Yue Summit and after that visit she invited Xiao Yao to visit Zhi Jin Palace to see her Xing Yue was now the Empress and she loved the adulation and respect her position earned her She liked everyone bowing before her, even Yi Yang who used to give her attitude now had to lower herself before her But Xiao Yao remained the exception

Xiao Yao was very respectful to her but never bowed her head to her Froirl like Xiao Yao She never looked down on people below her nor did she pander to those withand wished for nothing