Part 17 (2/2)

I turned my back on him and pushed my face into my hands. Sobs wracked my body as he came up and wrapped his arms around me. I tried to push him off, but it was in vain. He squeezed harder.

”Just let me hold you. Please.”

I did; for a moment, I let myself be. My good sense wouldn't allow for much more, so I pried his fingers away from my waist when I felt his erection against my back.

”I need to get my coffee started,” I whispered, pus.h.i.+ng away.

He was quiet behind me as I busied myself with the coffee maker. I felt so stupid-lost in a sea of doubt and uncertainty.

”Jenna, we don't have to do this.”

I nodded my head but couldn't face him yet. ”Yes, we do. For now, I think we do.”

Even though it was hard-probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do-I knew the s.p.a.ce would make things easier. My body and mind screamed for him, but my heart had to heal and my brain had to rest. For once, I needed to stand on my own two feet if we wanted to fix what was broken.

”So what the f.u.c.k did you call me over here for? To rub it in my face? I thought you said you wanted to talk!”

I turned to face him. ”Why didn't you text me back? I'm getting really sick and tired of having to hunt you down all the time!”

”I hadn't slept for a few days so I crashed when I got back from your parent's place. I didn't hear it, Jenna.”

”Oh,” I mumbled.

”So, now that we have that all squared away, can we talk?”

I sighed. ”I need to get dressed. I don't feel comfortable standing here in a towel.”

”You're being ridiculous, Jenna. You're my wife. I want to see you in a towel, I want to rip the f.u.c.king towel off d.a.m.n it! Talk to me. Let me explain what happened at least.”

”I don't want to talk about it while the kids are here. But I do want to talk about visiting the kids.”

I felt white hot flames lick at my skin-hot all over. I wanted to disappear as soon as the words fell out of my mouth. In a million years, I never thought we'd end up becoming that couple-the separated kind.

”Visit my kids? Visit? Are you f.u.c.king insane?” he raged.

I held my finger up to my lips. ”Keep your d.a.m.n voice down! The kids are still sleeping. Haven't you done enough?”

”Why the h.e.l.l am I the bad guy here? I'm trying to tell you that I didn't kiss her, but you won't listen. Seems like you were looking for a reason to kick me out. Why don't you leave?” he hissed.

I stared at him and wondered who the h.e.l.l he thought he was. ”This is my house. Don't you talk to me that way again-ever,” I warned. ”You're the bad guy because you're an insensitive idiot and you gallivant around with your ex-girlfriend. You're the bad guy because I really just don't like you anymore.”

He looked like I'd punched him. His face fell, his shoulders slumped, and he almost lost his footing. I didn't want to be cruel, but in a way, I wanted to hurt him. He needed to feel the way I did, to break down and show an emotion other than anger.

”Fine. We'll talk later, but, Jenna, we will talk. I didn't kiss Lana.”

”I think I believe you, but it doesn't change everything else. That was the cherry on a very messed up cake, and right now, I want to rip your head off. You'll have to wait until I've had time to sort myself out.”

”f.u.c.k,” he hissed. ”This is killing me; do you even understand what this is like? I want to come home to my wife and kids.”

I took a deep breath before I said something ugly-again. ”You need to get your head on straight, and figure out where you belong. You haven't been here, really been here in so long. I need you with me, wholly. I think we need to see someone about things.”

”My head is on straight, Jenna. The longer we drag this out, the longer it'll take to fix it.”

I shook my head, frustrated and sick of the bickering. ”Look, it's only been ten minutes, and we're fighting again. I won't say it again. I'm not ready. We do, however, need to figure out what to do with the kids, to make things as normal as possible. Them first-then us.”

His anger boiled over, ready to tip. I couldn't deal with a full-blown argument before work. The day would be hard enough on me.

”This whole thing isn't normal, Jenna. We promised-you promised. You said you'd never leave me, that we'd always be a family.”

I huffed. ”Yeah, well, you said a lot of things, and now look where we are. I mean it-not today, and not here. Stop being such a pain in the a.s.s. The kids come first.”

He glared at me, murderous and wracked with pain. ”Yeah, the kids. I tell you what's going to happen. I see them whenever I want, and whenever they want. Problem solved. Discussion over.”

I grabbed at the roots of my hair and groaned. ”No. I told you I need s.p.a.ce! It's always what you want. Always. I'm sick and tired of it. I give in and give in and you know what? f.u.c.k that.”

His eyes widened. He knew I was at the end of my rope. ”So what have you decided would be best for everyone else, Jenna? Enlighten me.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, challenging me to prove my strength and resolve. He had a long wait if he wanted me to back down. I was done being that Jenna.

”I think Tuesdays and Thursdays would be good since I work late. Your mom picks up Benji on those days, anyway, so he'd already be there. You can swing by and get the girls on your way home and spend the evening with them.”

”Two f.u.c.king nights? No way. You know what, Jenna...”

I held up my hand and shook my head. ”Every other weekend, too. They need structure. I'm firm on this, Royal.”

”You don't determine what happens with my kids, Jenna. You're taking this too far.”

”I need to get ready for work. Enjoy your time with the kids. Tara is picking up Benji at eight o'clock and taking him and Lily to your mom's house. I'll talk to you later, Royal.”

I blinked back tears and sucked away a sob before going upstairs to get ready for work. Things had backfired, and I should've known. The black curtain between us was pulled so tight, I wasn't sure we'd ever emerge.

The kids were still asleep, so I nudged Macy's shoulders. ”Sweetie, you gotta get up.”

She groaned, threw her arm over her head and told me to leave her alone. ”Come on,” I chuckled.

I poked Benji in the side, hoping that his ticklish nature would work in my favor. ”Bubba, get up. Daddy's downstairs.”

Delaney's eyes popped open and fixed on mine from the other side of Benji.

”He is?” she asked.

”Yup. He came for breakfast. I thought you girls could whip up pancakes or something.”

<script>