Part 85 (2/2)

MDx.x.xVI.--LAW AND PHYSIC.

WHEN Dr. H. and Sergeant A. were walking arm-in-arm, a wag said to a friend, ”These two are just equal to one highwayman.”--”Why?” was the response. ”Because it is a lawyer and a doctor--_your money or your life_.”

MDx.x.xVII.--EUCLID REFUTED.

”A PART,” says Euclid, ”one at once may see, Unto the whole can never equal be”; Yet W----'s speeches can this fact control, Of them a part is equal to the whole.

MDx.x.xVIII.--KEEPING IT TO HIMSELF.

BURKE once mentioned to Fox that he had written a tragedy. ”Did you let Garrick see it?” inquired his friend: ”No,” replied Burke; ”though I had the folly to _write_ it, I had the wit to keep it _to myself_.”

MDx.x.xIX.--CLa.s.sICAL WIT.

DR. MAGINN dining with a friend on ham and chicken, addressed Sukey Boyle, his friend's housekeeper, thus: ”You know, Boyle, what old Ovid, in his 'Art of Love' (book iii.), says; I give you the same wish:--

”'Semper tibi _pendeat hamus_,'

May you always have a _ham_ hanging in your kitchen.” The doctor insisted that tea was well known to the Romans, ”for,” said he, ”even in the time of Plautus it was a favorite beverage with the ladies,--

”'Amant _te_ omnes mulieres.'”

_Miles Glor._, Act i., sc. i., v. 58.

Observing Sukey Boyle, he said to his friend, ”Ah! John, I see you follow the old advice we both learned at school, [Greek: Charizou te Psyche], 'Indulge yourself with Sukey.'” There was some hock at dinner, which he thus eulogized:--

”'Hoc tum saevas paulatim mitigat iras, Hoc minuit luctus moestaque corda levat.'”

_Ov. Trist._, lib. iv., _el._ vi., v. 15, 16.

MDXL.--A PREFERABLE WAY.

ONE of the Kembles made his first appearance on the stage as an opera singer. His voice was, however, so bad, that at a rehearsal the conductor of the orchestra called out, ”Mr. Kemble! Mr. Kemble! you are murdering the music!”--”My dear sir,” was the quiet rejoinder, ”it is far better to murder it outright, than to keep on _beating it as you do_.”

MDXLI.--A STOUT SWIMMER.

SOME one jocularly observed to the Marquis Wellesley, that, in his arrangements of the ministry, his brother, the Duke, had thrown him overboard. ”Yes,” said the Marquis; ”but I trust I have strength enough to swim _to the other side_.”

MDXLII.--A CHOICE OF EVILS.

ONE asked his friend, why he married so _little_ a wife? ”Why,” said he, ”I thought you knew, that of all evils we should choose the _least_.”

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